Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Not so Likeable?

Today over at 20 Something Bloggers they are doing their big Blog Swap. Someone else would guest post here and I would do a guest post on their blog. I was pumped. I mean I am trying my best to immerse myself in this little bloggy world and the Blog Swap sounded awesome to me! But you’ll notice- No Blog Swap for me today. My partner never responded to my email. And I never got assigned a new partner. Whatever.

That is the story of my life lately. I don’t know what is going on, but I have never felt so alone. I am starting to get insecure. Do people just not like me? I have always thought I was pretty likeable. But now I am not so sure.

Last week in Bible Study our leader told each of us to call another random person in the group and ask for their prayer request for that week. I never got a call.

Lately no one calls me unless I call them. I spend 9 hours in a cubicle barely talking to anyone because my office is so darn quiet. It is like against the rules to talk around here. I go home and no one calls. I try to call friends sometimes, but 9 times out of 10, no one answers and I don’t do voicemail. If I leave you a voicemail, I am either desperate or it is an emergency. I’m a pretty quiet person in general, but this is killing me.

I have no idea why I am going through this or what I am supposed to learn from it, but it SUCKS.

To take my mind off of the quiet and loneliness, I have challenged myself to run (ahem, jog…or maybe even just walk) 3.1 miles everyday between now and December 6 (the day of my 5K). I went to the gym last night and planned to jog the whole time on the treadmill. (Remember I haven’t jogged in 2-3 weeks!) Well, I got a shooting pain in my side. So I slowed down to a walk until it went away. Then I would jog again until it came back. And repeat. It took me 42:30 to finish 3.1 miles. (I actually thought it would be worse!) My goal is to have a time in the 30-40 min. range on race day. (It’s my first one, so cut me some slack!) And since jogging outside is a lot harder than on a treadmill, I am going to have to really improve on that time over the next 2-3 weeks!

Who needs companionship or talking when there is so much running to be done anyway?


magda said...

I totally have days where I feel exactly like this. I've been reading your blog for, oh, ONE DAY now so I'm probably not qualified to say that I'm sure you're totally likeable, but I'll go out on that limb : ) Boo to those lame bloggers and Bible-studiers. I HATE the feeling of being forgotten.

And your 5K? Sounds a lot like mine. I'm not a runner at all, but for some reason recently I've decided that I totally want to do a 5K. The best I've done so far is 37 minutes. This is on the treadmill, mind you, with the trifecta of distractions that is my ipod; the tv with closed captioning; a magazine. Because I'm just awesome like that.

Hang in there!

Jane said...

I have to agree with magda. :-) You seem like a pretty likable person to me. I have been reading your blog for about a month now, and it has inspired me to create my own 30 before 30 List. I have also greatly enjoyed your bookshelf blog, and have to say I bought several of the books that you reviewed. :-) Most recently I read Such a Pretty Fat, and thought it was hilarious. I can't wait to read the other two books by Jen Lancaster, but I have been sidetracked trying to discover what this Twilight craze is all about.

Anyway....I know the feeling you described all too well. I hope it passes quickly!

Vianca Hidena said...

i have been reading your blog since last week and it has inspire me to start with the 5k plan and the to do list before my 30's too.
I do feel somedays like you do today so dont feel like the only one.
Btwy i found this website that i am using besides the, so i thought you may like it: