Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Random Wednesday Catch-up

My goal of being a better blogger in 2013 is not going so well.  Life is just so busy.  Being an adult is hard y'all.  And I don't even have a husband or kids.  Although if I had a husband he could help out a little (just saying)

I don't have much time so here are some things that have been occupying my thoughts lately in good 'ole bullet fashion:

- I have become obsessed with Dusk Dynasty.  I seriously have watched about 20 episodes over the last 2 weeks.  Si and his tea cup are my favorite.  I mean HEY he just says the craziest things.  I also love Phil.  Watching the Roberson family makes me hap-py, hap-py, hap-py!

- Y'all if you are tormented by having a crush on someone, wait it out and spend as much time as you can around the person.  Slowly you will start to see their faults and the crush will go away and you won't be tormented by the longings of your heart anymore.  At least it worked for me and I am so glad!

- I'm going to give blood tomorrow for the first time and I am really nervous about it.  I hate needles.  I'm afraid of passing out.  It supposed to only take 15 minutes.  Hopefully I will survive.

- I need a vacation.  If I had a travel buddy I would be planning a trip to Europe right now.  I want to go to Paris and Italy.  In April I have a beach weekend planned and there has been talk of a trip to Austin, TX.  All I know is I need to get away ASAP.

- I need a maid.  I seriously suck at housekeeping.  I can keep things tidy and organized, but I hate cleaning. In particular vacuuming.  Pretty much anything having to do with the floors I hate.  And that is a problem when you have a dog that sheds two tons of fur a day.  It has taken over my house and follows me on my clothes everyday. Oh if only I had a money tree!

- I still want to find movie love.  I want some prince charming sweep me off my feet and cuddle on the couch and make out.  Oh how I miss making out.    

-I've been trying to cook more and not eat out.  I read an article about how off calorie counts can be and so I have just been trying to eat healthy.  Remember how I said I wasn't giving up anything for Lent?  Well, I decided to give up diet soda.  Or soda in general   I am more tired and have had a few headaches, but I feel much less bloated and it's forced me to drink a lot of water which is always good.

That's it for now.  I will try to post some of the Pinterest recipes I've tried recently tomorrow.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Sunday Snippets: Loving the World

This week has been a roller coaster for me.  I know I had promised to be a better blogger this year, but sometimes I can barely keep up with life.  I can barely keep up with the emotions I go through on a weekly basis, let alone document them.  Even though I feel like nothing big is happening in my life.  I mean according to the world's standards I'm pretty unsuccessful currently.  I'm not getting married.  I'm not having a baby.  I didn't get a new job.  I'm not moving somewhere cool and fun.  I'm not training for a marathon.  I'm haven't lost 100 lbs.  I haven't wrote a book or published a song.  Nothing is really new with me according to the world's standards.  I couldn't impress anyone on Facebook or at a cocktail party.  And honestly it was starting to kind of get to me.

I've felt really stuck lately.  I felt like nothing was happening in my life and I felt like I was getting left behind.

This weekend our pastor gave a sermon on "Loving the world but not loving the world".  It sounds very contradictory, but basically it was about guarding yourself for not loving or craving the things of this world over God.  Bad things like partying, sex, drugs, greed.  But more importantly good things like marriage, children, your home, family, friends, etc.

He warned us about lusting for things and defined lust as a desire that has taken on too much weight and controls you and your behavior.  He said "Only by not lusting for the world can we give ourselves up and really love the world."

He referenced a lot of verses in 1 John but here were two of my favorites:

"For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory though our faith." 1 John 5:4

"And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave.  But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever." 1 John 2:17

The sermon was really good and if you want to listen to it you can go here.  (It isn't posted yet, but should be soon.)  But the sermon was really reinforced today when I sat down to do my bible study for my small group.  We have been working our way through Genesis in what has seriously been the best study we have ever done.  It has made me read these familiar stories with new eyes and really made me see how Jesus was always Plan A for God and how He has been using all of history to tell this wonderful story.

We just finished Creation Unraveled last week and are starting Creation Restored this week.  The first study took us through Genesis 1-11 which includes Adam & Eve, Cain & Abel, Noah, and the Tower of Babel.  Today I started the first week of Creation Restored which starts telling the story of Abram.

If you aren't familiar with the story of Abram, basically God makes a covenant with him that all His people (including the Messiah) will come through Abram and he changes his name to Abraham (Father Abraham had many sons, many sons had father Abraham..remember that song?)

But the study first has us look and who Abraham (Abram) and Sarah (Sarai) were when God chose them.  Basically they were on their way to a city that worshiped idols and they could not have children.  They were "barren"- Abram spiritually and Sarai physically.

The study asks "...wonder why God would chose to work through such a couple instead of picking out a man and a woman who better represented the best of what human beings can achieve."  It goes on to say that "...such things don't come from the righteousness of people, or the accomplishment of people, of from being born into the right bloodline." God does not choose us based on the world's standards of worthiness.

It goes on to discuss barrenness   Which I could really relate to right now and when you are in the midst of it leaves you pretty hopeless.  Barrenness isn't just not being able to have children, but feeling like your life is empty and lacking faith and just feeling, well, barren and in the midst of a desert.

So what gives us hope in the midst of "barrenness"?  Faith.  Here's another quote from the study- "Faith isn't an attempt to give us the look of morality.  That's not faith at all.  That isn't Christianity either.  Having faith in God means letting go of everything that our hands are grasping so tightly in our effort to find identity and security- yes, even seemingly good things- and looking toward God to keep us instead."

It goes on to discuss how God asked him to go but didn't tell him where to go.  And even worse, Abraham never got to see with his own eyes the fulfillment of God's promises.  Ten years after God had promised him "descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky", he and Sarah were still childless and old.  "...the gap between the promise and their fulfillment was starting to wear on him." (and us!)  He complained to God that he was childless and old and would have no heir like God had promised.

I loved this passage from the study:
"I can't think of a single person who would have a hard time relating to Abraham here.  We've all felt dissatisfied with some of God's promises.  He promised to never leave or forsake us, for example, but there are definitely times we feel like we've been on our own for a while.  He promised to conform us to the image of His Son, but we can't seem to get free from the power of sin.  He promised to hear us when we cry out to Him, but there are times when the sky feels like brass, bouncing back our prayers."

That is exactly how I have been feeling lately.

Thank God for this message at just the right time.

The study goes on to ponder "can't God give us something like the sign He gave to Abraham? can we know, like Abraham knew, that God will keep His promises?  Here is the answer:

"And He took bread, gave thanks, broke it, gave it to them, and said, "This is My body, which is given for you.  Do this in remembrance of Me." In the same way He also took the cup after supper and said, "This cup is the new covenant established by My blood; it is shed for you" (Luke 22:19-20)

That is what I am going to be focusing on this Lent season.  Not the suffering because I have been up to my eyeballs wallowing in self-pity for my "suffering".  And even though it is but a scratch compared to Christ sufferings, my faith cannot withstand focusing on suffering right now.

So I am focusing on the gift.  And the promise.  And knowing that at times like this when my faith is weak and I'm so distracted by the things of this world, that someone has already believed and trusted perfectly for me.  Thank God!  So thankful for Jesus!  So thankful for this study.

And I'm so incredibly thankful for my Bible study girls and other girl friends this week who held me up with prayer and encouragement when I was weak.  If you think you can walk this journey of faith alone, I am telling you, you can't.  You need others to remind you of truth constantly and hold you up and encourage you when the world beats you down.  Find a church and/or small group to live your life with and study God's word with.  It makes all the difference in the world!

Monday, February 11, 2013

The Bachelor episode that made me want to punch someone in the face

Ok so prior to tonight's episode of The Bachelor I admit I was a little emotionally unstable.  I might have cried in the car on my way home from work.  I've told you guys for the last few months I have felt frustrated and it hasn't gotten any better.  It seems like every day either God or the devil or fate or whoever just keeps poking let's see how far we can push this girl before she breaks.

So when within the first five minutes of the episode when Tierra calls Ashlee a "cougar" and taunts "She's 32 years old.  Why isn't she settled down?" It made me want to punch her and cry at the same time.

I am 32.  I'm not settled down.  And I don't f-ing know why ok?!  It may be because I wasted too much of my time on losers in my teens and twenties.  It may be because I am too afraid to put myself out there because I've had my heart broken one too many times.  It may be because I'm a hopeless romantic and haven't found my movie love. And yeah maybe movie love doesn't exist.  It may be because I made a few mistakes.  It may be because I was focused on working and building my own life.  It may be because maybe my first love was my soul mate and he died way too early.  It may be because I'm not pretty enough...not outgoing enough...not slutty enough...too selfish...too lazy...too quiet...i.don't.know.

But I feel like that is what everyone thinks of me.  That something is wrong with me because I'm not married.  Trust me I want to get married.  I want to have a family.  But if I admit that I am too desperate and if I try to deny it then I'm just a sad spinster.  So what the hell do I do?

I often wonder the same thing "Why am I still single?"  "Is something wrong with me?"  "Am I too far past my prime that it will never happen now?"

Tierra brings up Ashlee being 32 again when blaming everything that is going bad for her on everyone else.  She again implies that something is wrong with her for not being settled down already and I just wanted to scream "I hope you never freaking get married Tierra!!!!"  Life does not always go by plan.  Just because you aren't settled down by 30 it doesn't mean that something is wrong with you or "you aren't good with men".

Oh man!  What a way to make single girls feel like crap during the week of Valentine's Day.  I hope Tierra goes in to the witness protection program or something because I know if I ever run into her I will have to give her a good hard b**** slap for single gals everywhere. (and no I have never slapped anyone, but she would totally be worth it.)

I hope she is seriously embarrassed by her behavior on the show (doubtful) and I can't wait to see what she has to say on the women tell all show ($100 bucks she's too chicken to show her face).  And I'm sure if she doesn't show up, it will be the girls fault.

Tierra you suck!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Sorry for the Silence

Last week was super busy.

We had a Global Summit at work.

This little girl came in to the world.

How freaking cute is she??

I went here for a friend's birthday


I went to a friend's house for the superbowl and they pulled out some of these which made my freaking month!

best. beer. ever.

And I'm still laughing over this ad:

Hopefully I'll get myself together and get back to regular posting this week!