OBX Half Marathon

I already told you guys I am basically starting over from scratch with my running.  Starting with the Couch 2 5K plan then bridge to 10K plan and finally I will be adding on a 12 week half marathon plan now.

Earlier this week a few girls from my sorority started a conversation around doing the Outer Banks Half Marathon together.  My old roommate Anne cracked me up with this comment yesterday:

After I finished my first half marathon I said I would never torture myself like that again.  But the next day I kind of wanted to try again.  The two I have always been interested in have been the Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon because it is at night and the OBX Half Marathon because it would be beautiful and most importantly flat!  And it would be so fun to have a get a way with all my sisters.  Think of the cute t-shirts we could create for this!

It isn't until November so I have plenty of time.  I can't believe I am going to do this again.  But here goes nothing!

Speaking of sororities, did you guys hear about this scathing letter a sorority president wrote to her sisters?  The other night my friend did a dramatic reading of the letter that was hilarious.  Today I saw this which was also hilarious!  (Be warned: VERY strong language and HIGHLY offensive)

Guest Post! Taylor from The Daily Tay

Well Hello!

My name is Taylor and I blog over at The Daily Tay

Original blog name, I know. But Princess Diaries was already taken…

Anyway,

I live in Chicago with that handsome fellow above,

and our very vocal, and incredibly needy dog, Harlow.

I blog about whatever catches my eye for the day.

Which as of lately has been something regarding Emily Maynard,

Florida cannibals,

or the fact that my boyfriend likes to say I “hide his stuff”

when in fact, I just put it away. 

What’s up with that?

And today, in honor of Suz’s lovely blog,

I thought I’d talk about my own list.

I just turned 25 two weeks ago, and decided I should make a list of 
25 things to do for my 25^th year.

#1 on the list: is to actually make the list.

I just keep talking about it.

#2 was originally going to be: go on kayaking tour down the Chicago River.

But too many Yelp reviews say dead rats float next to you on this tour…ew.

So I have to rethink this one.

#3 should be: run Chicago Marathon.

But that’s already full. So I think I’ll just say, run a marathon.

#4 : Go to amateur night at comedy club and tell jokes.

But first I have to write my bit, or learn what a “bit” is.

And come up with some jokes…

#5: Go skydiving.

Cliché, but whatever.

#6: Stop picking nails and cuticles. For real this time.

#7: Get out of debt- so maybe rethink skydiving, I think it’s like $250.

#8: Actually watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s rather than just pretending like you’ve seen it all these years.

#9: Cook a turkey. Mmm I love leftover turkey.

And by the time I get to #10 I’m usually ready for a drink.

I’ll finish this later.

Stop on by sometime, I love new visitors!

Taylor

www.thedailytay.com
Follow me on Twitter!

Bronchitis- Ain't nobody got time for that!

I just got back from a run...er...slow jog/walk.  It was terrible.  It's cold out and I'm still coughing and hacking up stuff.  Well about a 1.5 miles away from my house this huge golden retriever comes out of no where.  Cam and I stop and I see a lady in her pajamas on her phone coming out of the garage across the street to get the dog.  We wait because both dogs are kind of amped up like "what's going on...should I attack you??"  I think the lady has the dog so Cam and I start running again.  Well the dog gets lose and chases us.  I keep jogging as calmly as I can to keep Cam calm but do a u-turn to go back up the street to the lady so she can get her dog who is anxiously all over my dog.  We stop and wait until she has him secure on the leash.  I jogged out of that loop, made it about a block further and then gave up.  I just walked most of the way back to my house while hacking up my lungs and spitting up all kinds of nastiness.

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook tonight and I've watched it about 10 times.  Cracks. me. up.  Preach girlfriend!  I got bronchitis too and ain't nobody got time for that!  Especially when you are supposed to be running a half marathon in 3 days!

Jimmy Kimmel inspires hilarity

You guys this is hilarious!  If you saw the Halloween candy Jimmy Kimmel video, this is similar but I think this one might be even better! 


I love the little girl that tries to reason with her mom about the sandwich and I love that her mom's good cooking includes Hot Pockets because that may be me some day!

And the boy that says "You stinking parents!"  priceless!  Kids are freaking funny!

And just in case you didn't see it, here is the Halloween one:


My favorites from that one are "Dad you're ugly!" and "2 + 2 is 5...you were so close" and "you sneaky mom!"

Question to those of you with kids...would you do this to your kids?

Ankle length panties and why I feel regurgitated

My pastor referred to skinny jeans as "ankle length panties" in his sermon this weekend. I literally laughed out loud. Multiple times.


It was a good sermon...really funny!

Here are some of my favorite excerpts:

“Yeah, because, I mean, ‘just follow my heart’…isn’t that what Hitler did? And look at where it got the world.”

“What about friends with benefits?” Quit asking stupid questions."

Girls, you don’t want a guy who says, “Baby, of all the girls I regularly have sex with, I think you’re my favorite…”

"Sex is different for us and animals. There is no point at which the female bird asks the male, “You know, I just really need to know that you want me for more than my body.” She doesn’t say to him, “I don’t like the way you’ve been looking at some of my jungle bird friends.” They don’t go off on a picnic, make love, and then cuddle and talk about how they’re going to build a life and change the jungle together."

"A guy who has sex with a girl without marrying her is like a bulimic with food. A bulimic loves the taste of food but doesn’t want to keep the nutrients or calories in her body, so she tastes, swallows it, and then vomits it back up. That’s what a guy is doing to you… he is tasting oneness with you, but then throwing you back up because he doesn’t want to become one with you."

"If we applied this verse just as it’s written, every guy in here would be blind within a matter of minutes. Right?) A girl walks into church this morning wearing one of these tight little outfits that she looks like she melted onto herself an hour ago… or, wearing a pair of skinny jeans, which I otherwise refer to as, “anklelength panties,” and as she walks down the aisle of church you got guys applying this verse and so there’s a little trail of male eyeballs popping out and rolling around on the floor…"

"So, that’s the command: Thou shalt have great sex."


It was a really good sermon but when he compared guys who have sex with you but won't marry you to bulimics (as in they are basically regurgitating you because they don't love you enough to commit to you forever and will eventually just throw you back up) it made me sick to my stomach. He should use that line with his girls when they get older because no girl wants to be regurgitated! I have been thinking about that line for days and it seriously makes me sick when I think about how I have been regurgitated by guys I thought cared for me, but in the end, they really didn't.  It makes me mad and sad that I could just be thrown away.  I can't think about it too much...moving on...


If you want to hear or read the whole sermon, go here.

I'll Pray for You

Sorry I haven't written in a while.  Things have been super busy this week!  I think it is going to just be crazy maddness from here on out until I get back from Dubai.

That reminds me again- those of you who donated or helped me raise funds- THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I couldn't have gotten here without you!!  I can not believe it is happening.  I can not wait to go and come back and share my experience with all of you!!  You guys are angels and I can only hope to be as generous as you were when someone needs me!

Which brings me to praying...as a Christian I am challenged to pray for people everyday.  Pray for a friend whose mother just found out the cancer is back.  Pray for a friend who is about to have her first baby.  Pray for a family whose little girl is in the hospital.  Pray for a friend who is about to have surgery.  Pray for a friend who is going after a new job.  Pray for a friend who is trying to sell her condo, find a new job and move.  Pray for a co-worker who was just in a car accident.

Those types of prayers aren't that hard, you just have to remember them all.  The kind of prayers that are hard are the ones you pray for the people you don't like.  People who have hurt you or done you wrong.  Mean people.  Your enemies.  Mostly I pray for God to give me a forgiving spirit towards them and to be able to show them love even if they are undeserving just like God showed me love when I was undeserving.

But last night I heard a song on the radio that had me cracking up! Deep down this is the type of prayer I would rather pray for those meanies...because deep down I'm mean too!  Only God can help me love my enemies because trust me it ain't easy!

Pray for You- Jaron and The Long Road to Love



I haven't been to church since I don't remember when
Things were going great til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can't go hatin' others who have done wrong to you
Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do his job, you just pray for them


I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you

I'm really glad I found my way to church
Cause I'm already feelin' better and I thank God for the words
Yeah, I'm gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do
You keep messin' up, and I'll keep prayin' for you

I pray your tire goes out at 110
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend
And wake up with his and her tattoos

I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far
In your house or in your car
Wherever you are, honey, I pray for you
I pray for you

A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife...

...but a TIGER sure would!

Where do pigs park their cars?
In a PORKING lot!

What is the name of a woman who only has 1 leg and lost her crutches?
Eilleen

What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck

Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they ARRRGGGGH!

I love corny jokes! Got any?

DA Line

I had to go to court this morning. Did I tell ya'll about my fender-bender back in December? I can't remember if I mentioned it. Anyway, long story short, I accidentally sideswipped someone. I got a ticket for unsafe movement.

So today was my court day and it made for an interesting/different kind of morning.

First, the time for court on my ticket was 8 am. I took an Ambien around 10:30 pm last night, but I swear I have become immune to those things because I didn't fall asleep until like 2 am.

I had set my 2 alarms for 6:30 and 7. When I opened my eyes and looked at the clock this morning it was 8:05. I guess I slept through both alarms! I threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair, let the dog out and hurried out the door.

I rarely ever go to downtown Raleigh. It is about a 20 minute drive from where I live and all the one-way streets and traffic and skinny lanes make me nervous. But as I was driving through the city streets I thought how cool it would be to live downtown or in a big city somewhere. I could walk everywhere, have a bagel shop in my lobby, and just feel all city-ish. I always regret not living somewhere like DC or NYC for a few years after college to get that big city experience. But let's be realistic...who can really afford that? I know I couldn't.

Anyway, I had to drive around the courthouse a couple times, but found a 30-minute parking spot about 4 blocks away finally and figured that was the best I was going to get.

On my walk to the courthouse I got nervous a couple times passing some umm...interesting looking people. I made sure my purse was shut and just walked as quickly as possible without making eye contact with anyone. I made it to the courthouse and through security and went upstairs to the courtroom listed on my ticket.

Did I mention I had been here before? A few years ago I got a speeding ticket, so I was better prepared this time. The last time I actually went to the FEDERAL courthouse instead of the county courthouse. The guy laughed at me when I asked him where I needed to go for my speeding ticket. That was a bad day and it took me forever to get where I needed to be.

Anyway, I knew right where to go this time. The "courtroom" for minor offenses like this is this big room with a desk up front and all these ropes that form confusing curving lines. As I was waiting in line to check in, to my right was another line and I looked at the sign above them and it said "DA LINE". I laughed to myself and thought "is that the line for ghetto people? I love that they are embracing eubonics!"

When it got to be my turn to check in the lady said "Ok, you have to speak to the D.A. and pointed me to DA LINE". Seriously it wasn't until then that it clicked. Get it? D.A. line? I was cracking myself up so much in my head that I wanted to take a picture of the sign, but I had left my cell phone in my car. But I still had to share the story!

(I know ya'll are thinking "gosh what an idiot" but it still has me cracking up at myself 4 hours later, and I swear I'm not dumb, it was just one of those kind of mornings!)

The ticket was dismissed and I didn't even have to pay any court fees. And even though the whole thing took more than 30 minutes, my car was still there when I got back to it (and no parking ticket! yay!) and I made it to work by 10 am.

So other than my somewhat oily non-washed hair and no make-up face, today has been pretty good so far.

Not bad for a Monday.

If you've never been single for more than six months, it's best to just keep your advice for us to yourself...

I never ever in a million years would have thought I would be one of “those” girls. One of “those” girls who really wants to be married and have kids. One of “those” girls who dreams of a wedding and what color bridesmaid dresses she’ll pick and what favors she’ll pick for the guests. I never thought I would be one of “those” girls because I never thought much about if I had a boyfriend or not. I am fine by myself and I’m not usually out “looking” for someone. I wanted to finish college and start my career and build a life for myself and whether I was with someone or not, didn’t really enter my thought process that much. It was just something that happened or didn't happen.

Then it started…every year was one wedding after another. I was happy with this at first. Weddings are fun! Bachelorette parties, showers, hot groomsmen, free alcohol and food, friends you haven’t seen in forever, what’s not to love? About my 3rd or 4th summer of wedding madness (I was probably on my 20th wedding and had been in at least 5) it started to get old. The time and cost wore on me a little bit and I started to wonder if it would ever be my turn? And now I had fewer and fewer single friends to party it up with. I was the 3rd or 5th wheel one too many times.

And now we have moved on to baby madness…I tell ya, it’s never ending.

Don’t get me wrong. I am fine being single and I am truly happy for my friends. I do hate doing things by myself, but I do them anyway. I don’t have my life on hold because I haven’t found “the One”. I don’t sit around pining away for a husband and a big white wedding. (Not that I don’t want those things, but I’m not obsessed with it.) I think I do a pretty good job as a single. But I will tell you it is not easy the older you get. You start calculating in your head how many years you have left before you have missed your chance for kids. You get excited when you actually meet a male who is single, not crazy, not hideous, and not fresh out of college. You start avoiding things like New Years with your friends because this would be like the 3rd or 4th year where you will be about the only single person there and it’s much more fun to spend New Years in your PJs anyway.

Anyway, this made me chuckle this morning…Here’s some things I could relate to being “Single” over the Holidays:

1. Someone tells you, “It’s tough to be alone this time of year.” = +1 point
(but it’s totally ok if that person is single too)

2. They pat your head while they say that. = +2 points (or rub your back)

4. With bated breath, they ask, “Should I put you down as +1 for the Christmas party this year?” = +2 points (I hate the pressure of the plus 1 invites)

5. Your good friends hold secret “couples holiday dinners” they don’t invite you to. = + 3 points (and you just pretend you know nothing about it)

6. They wince when the world’s worst commercials, Jared’s jewelry, come on TV and some horrible actress gets engaged right in front of you. = +4 points (makes me want to slap somebody)

7. If you’re divorced they tell you, “I think this year you should really ‘focus on you.’” = +1 point (I’m not divorced but have heard this more times than I can count)

8. They try desperately to find the silver lining and say things like, “It must be nice not to have to shop for anyone. My husband is so hard to get gifts for!” = +2 points (yeah well, and I also get less presents, so think of it that way while you enjoy opening more than 2 presents this year.)

9. When you tell them you’re OK being single during Christmas, they give you a look that says, “You are such a liar. It’s impossible to be happy and single during Christmas!” = +2 points (well, I was. Just stay so busy you look forward to Christmas being over and having everything done!)

11. Someone tells you, “Being single doesn’t have to mean being alone.” = +2 points (What does that even mean?)

12. Your friends have stopped saying “When you get married” because they’re not sure you’ve got it in you. = +1 point (or they are even unsure if there are any good guys left out there)

13. Your friends now say, “If you get married.” = +2 points (or worse they keep reassuring you “It will happen when you’re not looking”- Seriously stop saying that)

16. People tell you, “Maybe this will be your year” in the same tone baseball fans wonder if the Cubs will finally win the World Series this year. = +2 points (no one has said that to me…yet)

20. A friend you only see once a year during the holidays, uses the S word when hearing you’re single. “Still?” = +1 point (or else the conversation just dies after you tell them you’re not dating anyone because they don’t know what else there is in life other than their husband and kids so what in the world could they ask me about)

21. People spend an exorbitant amount of time telling you marriage success stories, e.g. “The instant my friend Jill stopped looking for a boyfriend this incredible guy came along and swept her off her feet.” = + 1 point (People REALLY love that stop looking one!)

25. Married friends feel compelled to over tell you how difficult marriage is so that you don’t feel like it’s a winter wonderland of constant awesomeness. = +3 points (or they complain about their husband never taking out the trash…yeah well, I always have to take out the trash and everything else at my house, so get over it)

32. People try to romanticize the tremendous amounts of free time you must have during the holidays without a family to bother you. = +3 points

And here’s some from an old post of his about Surviving Church as a Single:

2. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s combined with the college ministry which creates opportunities for conversations like this:
Student: “My roommate bought a microwave for our dorm room. I love being a Freshman!”
Single: “My 401K is underperforming.” = +2 points

5. Someone pays you the world’s most backhanded compliment, “I just don’t understand how someone as great as you isn’t married yet.” = +1 point

6. Someone told you, “If you stop looking for love you’ll find it.” 2 points for each time you’ve heard that.

8. When people introduce you, they say, “This is Matt, my single friend.” = +2 points

9. When people introduce you they feel compelled to list out your accomplishments, “This is Sally, my single friend who owns her own home, drives a luxury sedan and has a very, very stable job.” = +3 points

10. Your friends that have been married for 15 minutes act like they suddenly don’t remember anything about dating and therefore can’t give you any advice. “It’s been so long since I dated, things have changed so much. I’m just out of that whole scene.” + 2 points

11. People are constantly volunteering you for things because, “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.” = +1 point

13. Married friends try to live vicariously through you, asking questions like, “What did you do this weekend? Road trip? I bet you went on some crazy cool, singles road trip, right?” = +2 points

14. Someone you just met for the first time said a sentence like this to you, “If you want to get married, you need to ______.” = +2 points

15. Whenever married friends call you at noon on a Saturday, they start the conversation by saying, “Did I just wake you up?” = +3 points

23. Your married friends tip toe around you during February because they think you’re too delicate to handle the completely made up holiday, Valentine’s Day. = +1 point

24. You are too delicate to handle Valentine’s Day and have been known to describe it with a rich tapestry of words no Christian should even know exist, never mind actually say out loud. = + 1 point

30. Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that until you get married too you can’t be close again because you just don’t understand each other anymore. = +3 points

31. To justify giving a four week marriage sermon series to a congregation that is 60% single, the pastor throws out one blanket statement like this at the beginning of the series, “And you single people listen up to this too, this well serve you well when you get married too.” = +2 points

39. You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding. = +2 points

Don't forget today is the last day to enter the giveaway!

Kids say the darndest...

My friend told the most hilarious story at dinner last night:

Her niece was over at her mom's house and her mom had just finished giving her a bath and was helping her dry off and getting ready to get in herself. As she was undressing the following conversation took place:

Niece: "Nana! Why do you have a beard on your kitty-kat!?"

Nana: "Well, you'll have one too when you get older."

Niece: "Uh-uh...my momma doesn't!"


Hehe! Happy Hump Day!

I can’t believe all that just happened

Last night witty guy and I went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart. I know, I know, I hate Wal-Mart too, but it is super close to witty guy’s new house, so we have been there a lot lately.

Anyway, we were in the check-out lane and so many things happened in that 10 minutes, it was just crazy. Our poor little check out lady had 3 people with full carts lined up in her lane, when the manager let her know she could turn her light off. Well, people at Wal-Mart, don’t check to see if the light is on, they just fall in to the shortest line. So she had to tell at least 5 people that she was closed. I felt bad for her because she was so sweet.

Then all of a sudden there was a big crash on the register next to us. Some lady had dropped a bottle of red juice and it went EVERYWHERE. I mean it was the biggest spill I had ever seen! I would have been so embarrassed, but of course these ladies didn’t seem to care too much. The Wal-Mart people kept trying to page maintenance to come clean it up and tried to sop some of it up with paper towels, but it was still there when we left.

Right as I was paying for my groceries, I kept looking back at the cart behind me which held a little kid. I kept looking at their cart because I was wondering if they had really waited in line this whole time to purchase just one balloon. The little boy had this Sponge Bob balloon and he had put it on the belt, and sure enough the rest of the cart was empty. At the same time I was contemplating all this in my head, the little boy (about 2 years old) was reaching, stretching his tiny little arm and body as far as he could to reach the string of the balloon that was on the belt. Then in slow motion, he tumbled head first out of the cart and on to the floor at my feet. I think I even reached out to try to catch him. He landed on his head and had rolled over to his back and looked up at me. I said “Oh my goodness are you ok?!” At first he just looked at me in shock as I looked at him in shock. Quickly his mother noticed what happened and came to pick him up and as soon as she did he started screaming. I’ve seen this delayed reaction to screaming in kids before and sometimes I think they really aren’t hurt that bad, but they think they need to play it up for us when we adults make a big deal out of it. Still, as we walked out of Wal-Mart I couldn’t get over all the action that had happened in the checkout lane. But now as I type this, I can’t believe that is the most exciting thing in my weekend to share with ya’ll!

I spent all weekend helping witty guy move in to his new house, which I love. It makes me want hardwood floors and a new kitchen all that much more.

I weighed myself this morning and I am down 4% in body weight (despite pigging out on cake and Italian food this weekend for witty guy’s birthday.) That was since Nov. 3rd when I went to the doctor. Now just 6% more to go before Christmas!

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

You have to go check out my review of this book on my Bookshelf Blog!

Completely shocking, disgusting, and HILARIOUS!

Have you read it??

This cracked me up!

I saw this commercial on TV last night and it actually made me stop to watch it instead of fast forwarding. Creepy and H-I-larious at the same time!

Doggie Dreams

If you have a dog, you have probably seen him or her dreaming before. You know, where they twitch their paws and maybe even bark or whine a little bit. I think it is so cute when Cam does this, and I always wonder what he could be dreaming about (probably the B-A-L-L!)

But I have NEVER seen anything like this!

Idle Gossip

I admit, I do love celebrity gossip. I have been trying to take a break, but it is just so darn entertaining, it's hard to stay away for long.

So first of all. Heidi and Spencer got married? Seriously? WTF was she thinking? If you have ever watched The Hills, you know Spencer is the biggest douche ever! He seriously has to be one of the most selfish jerks I have ever seen. He must have her brainwashed. Watching the show lately, I was hoping she was starting to see what a big a**hole he is. But oh no. She went and married him. Without her friends and family. Just her and the jerk. I predict this one won't last. I wish she would wake up and dump his sorry butt and go make up with Lauren. She seems like a smart girl and pretty nice from the show. She just hooked up with the wrong dude. I don't know what kind of magic kool-aid he has been feeding her, but she needs to stop drinking it and get the heck out of there. She'd be much better off.

Next up another poor brainwashed celebrity. Britney Spears is coming out with a behind-the-scenes documentary on MTV this Sunday. She seems to have got herself together finally. I do feel really bad for her. She has lived under a microscope for way too long. I would probably be crazy too with all those paparazzi following me 24/7. At least her dad has done some good in her life (even if he does seem a tad controlling.)

Finally, I haven't seen Twilight yet. (The book just got really really good last night and I can't wait to finish it!) But I have seen pictures of the dazzling Edward Cullen. I admit he is pretty hot, but WTF is up with his hair? That just isn't right.

Oh Alcohol, you funny little friend...

I am embarrassed this morning. And hung-over. And quite possibly still drunk. I'm not quite sure how that happened. I remember lots of little red drink tickets. I remember a couple rounds of shots. I remember not eating dinner because the show floor was open until 8 pm. But I did snack on free appetizers in there. And from my calculations I only had 3 Blue Moons and 3 shots. No, no, no, it's not that bad. They were girly shots like buttery nipple and chocolate cake (yum). Ok, yeah. It's still bad. But I guess I just can't drink like I used to in college. I'm getting old.

I didn't pay for anything last night because there are no receipts in my purse. But I did smoke A WHOLE PACK of cigarettes because there is an empty pack in my purse. My stomach hurts and even though I am hungry, I can't imagine keeping anything down right now. I think I went to bed somewhere around 3 am. And I remember ending the night talking politics and religion with some old, married guy.

Seriously. Why do I do this? This is a work function. I should not let the temptations of free drinks lure me into their traps. I can't imagine what I said or did last night in front of these people. I just know walking down there and working the show floor is going to suck today!

Wedding Disaster

I would have to kill him...

Worst Best Man Ever @ Yahoo! Video

Also check out the link to a sweet Barnes and Noble coupon and my review of The Secret Life of Bees on my Bookshelf Blog.

Small Town Mountain Girl

Sometimes I miss my hometown. I LOVE my little hometown of Morganton, NC. I always tell my mom how thankful I am for her and my dad moving there (if they wouldn’t have I would have grown up in Durham…talk about a different childhood experience!)

Life is different in a small town. There is only one high school team to root for. You can get anywhere in town in less than 10 minutes. You have small downtown arts and crafts festivals throughout the year. My town wasn’t so small that you knew everyone you passed on the street, but there was a good chance everyone you met knew someone you knew.

There are more local restaurants and less boring chain establishments in a small town. I loved places like the Emporium (RIP) where the walls were covered in quirky local abstract artwork. Or Judges, which is right on the Catawba River and instead of lousy elevator music and loud conversations around you, your meal is accompanied by the soothing rushing sounds of the water and your table is lit by the stars.

That was another great thing about Morganton. Life was best lived outdoors. From Lake James to the Greenway along the Catawba River. From Table Rock to the Linville Gorge. Everywhere you turned you were reminded of God’s beauty and grace through the landscape. The stars weren’t dimmed out by neon lights. The air even smelled different. The horizon line was gorgeous.

I miss Morganton. I miss the quaint downtown streets that would be lit up with the most adorable Christmas lights. I miss parades. Not the massive professional parades of the big city, but small town parades you could ride your bike in. I miss not being afraid to be out at night. I miss camping. I miss hanging out instead of going out. I miss nature. I miss an easier way of life. I miss the Burke County Fair.

The county fair is something much different than the humongous State Fair that is starting in Raleigh this week. We might not have had fried snickers, but you could at least walk around without getting claustrophobic and it didn’t cost an arm and a leg to go. In fact, I remember going multiple times to the Burke County fair while it was in town. I got to ride every ride and even try my luck at some carnival games. Here I’ll be lucky to see the pig races and try a funnel cake for less than $20.

But I am a city girl now. It was confirmed at the Sugarland concert in Roanoke Rapids this weekend with my aversion to the non-pretty people and abundance of camouflage. By my reaction to the open field instead of a “real” amphitheater and lack of “real” bathrooms or food facilities. It was confirmed. I do like city life. I like having 4 huge malls instead of just one wally-world. I like going to professional hockey games instead of the local pee-wee football game. I like having a plethora of upscale restaurants and bars to choose from. I like having a Target or Starbucks everywhere I turn. I like having so much at my fingertips. I have been spoiled.

But I’ll always be a small town mountain girl in my heart!

P.S. You know what else I miss? The 80’s…no, not really, but this video is freaking H-I-larious and just the little pick-me-up I needed on my Manic Monday yesterday, so I’m sharing it with you! I give you "Very Literal 80's Video"

Hilarity Ensues

So today in the blogging world I was reminded of some of my most craziest moments ever. I won’t elaborate on all these events, but here are some tidbits from my crazy 20something adventures for your reading enjoyment! (Mom if you are reading this, it was nothing really…I don’t drink THAT much...college kids do this stuff sometimes unfortunately)

-I once fell asleep on the floor of a hotel room of some HOT Canadians that my friend and I met at the beach. We wanted to record this moment with the HOT Canadians with a cute picture that night. When the pictures were developed we realized what we thought were pillows we were laying our heads on was actually a huge pile of the HOT Canadian’s dirty laundry. So gross.

-I once hugged a tree in the font yard of our house across from campus for what might have been close to an hour one night…it kept me from falling over!

-A friend and I decided to rest for a few minutes walking back from downtown one night in a nice comfy yard. Our relaxation was ripped away from us when friend #2 informed us (by laughing and pointing) that we were “passed out” in the Chancellor’s yard!

-I once had to leave a Career Fair early because I wasn’t feeling well. I had to have my classmate pull over on the way home and threw up pineapple chunks (from the Career Fair breakfast buffet- bad, bad idea) behind the bushes in front of the Brewster Building on campus. I think some passer-bys might have been laughing at me.

-After a night of Power Hour for my roommate’s birthday, I had to be taken to Urgent Care to be re-hydrated and to stop me from throwing up. (I took on 3 bags of fluid in less than an hour) The doctor asked me if I was in college and I said yes- somehow that made it acceptable? (at which point my friends started giggling uncontrollably and corrected me by telling the doctor no, I was not a college student. I had graduated 4 years ago.)

-During a Manager’s Meeting at work, the VP of our department offered to buy me a drink. I was so excited…the upper-ups want to hang out with me! That is until the bartender asked for my ID (at our WORK function…seriously…we don’t have any underage managers). All I had on me was my room key. I should have said “Oh that’s ok, I’ll have a Coke.” But no, I hauled my butt all the way back up to my room to retrieve my ID and returned 20 minutes later looking for my free drink.

Just for some balance, how about some non-alcohol related funny moments...

-On one of our first dates, my ex-boyfriend took me back to his place and proceeded to show me his wedding album- something he got to keep in the divorce. Um…awkward turtle…no…awkward elephant! And unfortunately I was completely sober for this.

-Just recently I accidentally locked my cat in a closet for almost an entire weekend.

-In third grade, when I transferred to public school, a boy asked me if I would "Go with him". I said "Go Where?" (I didn't know the slang term for boyfriend/girlfriend was "going with each other"...I didn't get asked that question again for 2 years- which is a long time when you are in elementary school!)

Well, that’s enough for one day. I assure you my friends (you know who you are) have WAY worse stories, but I don’t want to embarrass them here. And I know that this post might make me sound like a drunk, I’m not- REALLY! If you consider that these things happened over the course of 7 (or more) years, it’s not so bad- REALLY! Thank goodness I have (somewhat) outgrown these hijinks!

Don't be a Jonze!

Loves

I am so loving this new line Dooney and Burke emailed me about today:



But seriously...I could barely afford ONE of your purses! Don't tempt me with more!

I picked my Bible verse to memorize for my study group this week:

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9 (NIV Version)

Don't you just love this? It so explains Life.

Awkward Animals- I thought this was something my friend Jess made up, but it's not...everyone is doing it. Urban Dictionary has like 7 definitions for "Awkward Turtle". Here is my favorite:

During an awkward moment, this hand gesture is used to mark the situation as awkward, and, depending on the situation, makes it more awkward or clears the air. The awkward turtle is made by putting one hand on top of the other with the thumbs sticking outward and rotating forward. The speed of the rotating thumbs depends on the degree of awkwardness.
Boy- "I love you."
Girl- "Um...that's cool..."
Boy- *AWKWARD TURTLE*

I should have figured Jess would be up on this kind of stuff...she does have the Urban Dictionary Flash Cards! But the most fun part about awkward animals is making up new ones: Awkward Moose, Awkward Kitty Cat, Awkward Octopus...I have many, many more in my reproitre- thanks to Jess!

And I would so LOVE the 2009 Urban Dictionary Day-to-Day Calendar! Got to have something to put a smile on your face at work!