OBX Half Marathon

I already told you guys I am basically starting over from scratch with my running.  Starting with the Couch 2 5K plan then bridge to 10K plan and finally I will be adding on a 12 week half marathon plan now.

Earlier this week a few girls from my sorority started a conversation around doing the Outer Banks Half Marathon together.  My old roommate Anne cracked me up with this comment yesterday:

After I finished my first half marathon I said I would never torture myself like that again.  But the next day I kind of wanted to try again.  The two I have always been interested in have been the Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon because it is at night and the OBX Half Marathon because it would be beautiful and most importantly flat!  And it would be so fun to have a get a way with all my sisters.  Think of the cute t-shirts we could create for this!

It isn't until November so I have plenty of time.  I can't believe I am going to do this again.  But here goes nothing!

Speaking of sororities, did you guys hear about this scathing letter a sorority president wrote to her sisters?  The other night my friend did a dramatic reading of the letter that was hilarious.  Today I saw this which was also hilarious!  (Be warned: VERY strong language and HIGHLY offensive)

10 Things I have been up to lately

I'm a bad blogger.  I have been so busy lately.  But I still don't want to give up on this little blog of mine.  So in lazy blogger form here is a bullet list of the top 10 things that I've been doing but haven't had time to blog about:

1. We had our yearly site kick-off event for work a few weeks ago.  This is like a pep rally for the year.  Usually we have a dinner at The Angus Barn and other fun team activities.  This year's was not as great as previous years.  But they did surprise us with a performance from Scotty McCreery!

2. Speaking of work, I got a mentor at work.  We are going to meet once a month and so far she has been great.  It's like she knew me from our first meeting.  She wants to help me build my confidence so she gave me an assignment to make a list of 10 things I am proud of accomplishing in my life.  This topic deserves a whole post later because I have done much pondering and researching on confidence in the last month.

3. One of my goals for 2013 was to pay off my car early...and I did last month!  A whole year earlier than schedule!

4. I am also in the process of switching my home and car insurance and refinancing my house.  All this was prompted by a notice that due to an increase in my homeowner's insurance  I had an escrow deficit and they are increasing my house payments by $50 a month.  I know $50 doesn't seem like a lot, but I have a very tight budget and need my bills to stay pretty stable.  Hopefully after all this my payments will be about the same as they are now or even less!

5. I am giving up TV at the end of this month.  This is in an effort to a) save money and b) not be so lazy.  I may supplement with Netflix, but I haven't decided yet.

6. With the money that I am saving from giving up TV, I got a maid.  They only come once a month, but y'all I am terrible at housekeeping and really needed some help!

7. On April 15, 2012 I ran my first half marathon.  On April 15, 2013 I started over with Week One, Day One of the Couch 2 5K program again.  Yes, that is how far you can fall in a year.  I am so out of shape, but at least I am taking steps to get back on the wagon.  (And yes the irony continues that the Boston Marathon Bombings were on that day as well!)

8. I'm going to the beach this weekend with my Bible Study girls and to Austin, TX at the beginning of May for work!  YAY for travel plans!!

9. I've spent a lot of time in downtown Raleigh over the last month and sometimes I think I wish I lived downtown.  It really has come a long way since I first moved here.  But traffic, parking, and one way streets stress me out way too much to make it my home.  I like the outskirts and being right between Raleigh and Durham just fine.

10. I got to get in a cash cube at work last week.  It was a disappointing experience and I only got $24.  I think this was mainly due to the fact that I went 7th and all the $100, $50, and $20 bills had been taken AND they dumped all the fake money the previous people had collected back in the cube right before my turn.  So unfair!  But I guess it's better than nothing.

Hopefully next time it won't be this long between posts! 

30 Days of Thanks- Days 17-19

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!  I had a blast at The Color Run in Charlotte this weekend and hope to write a whole post about it soon.  I don't have much time so I'm going to get to what I've been thankful for:

Day 17 I was thankful for...
Friends who are hospitable

My old roommate lives in Charlotte and she let us stay with her Friday night.  I was so thankful for this!  It was so good to see her and finally get to see her place and catch up with her.  Friends who are hospitable are the best!

Day 18 I was thankful for...
The Summit Choir

Our church switched to a worship band instead of a choir a few years ago and I have missed the choir.  Every once in a while they put on a concert and I go to go this Sunday to see it.  They are so good and I can always feel God's presence in the room when they are singing!

Today I was thankful for...
Sushi

I love sushi!  Our small group got together for our "Thanksgiving dinner" tonight at one of my favorite sushi places.  We ordered so much we even got a boat!  YUM!

My first half marathon

Oh my goodness I was dreading this race!  I had been sick for the past 2 weeks.  I had missed 2 of my long training runs.  I was barely able to run at all last week.  I felt so unprepared.  I had hated every run I had ever done over 8 miles.  And the furthest I had run/walked was 10 miles.  I was scared and hating myself for signing up for this race.

Saturday I ran a lot of errands (one of which was picking up the t-shirt and bib for the race).  After church I was planning on going to sleep immediately.  But time got away from me and I ended up going to the grocery store to get some pasta around 8:30 pm because I felt like I needed some carbs in my system for the next day.  I had pasta with some spray butter, shredded cheese, sliced red pepper and some baby spinach around 9:30 and got in bed around 11.

I set my alarm for 4:45, but ended up waking up around 4:30 am and ate two eggo waffles with peanut butter and had some G2 to wash it down with. My nerves ALWAYS get to me and I have to use the bathroom before the race, plus I run best on an empty stomach, so I wanted to have plenty of time for my food to digest.  I took a shower and was ready to go at 6 am so we could be in line for the 7 am start. 

My friend Steph was running the race too and our friend Kristin came with us to cheer us on.  We stopped at a grocery store near the race to use the bathroom one last time.  There was a line.  We were told we could not park there for the race and had to move our car across the street to a bank parking lot.  We made it down to the race start line and I was hating life.  I did not want to do this at all.  We didn't have to wait too long and then we were off.

(I took no pictures, but saw this picture on a blog post I read.  I'm in the blue closest to the camera.  This was right at the beginning and I can not believe it looks like I am actually smiling.)

I will spare you all the details because most of the time I was just trying not to think too much.  Running is just as much (if not more) of a mental challenge for me as it is physical.  I kept a steady pace that felt comfortable for me.  My friend Steph was going to run the first half with me until I turned into the devil around mile 7 or 8 (as evidenced from our previous runs), but she was going a little too fast for me and I did not want to push myself when I had 11-12 more miles to go, so I just let her go around mile 2. 

The course was flat for the most part until we got to the first hill around mile 4.  I hate stopping to walk because it messes with my head, but I walked up that hill.  And then I told myself it was ok to walk up hills.  Well there were about 2-3 hills after that so I did way more walking than I probably should have.  Around mile 7 I finally decided to walk through a water station.  I was carrying a small water bottle but I had been coughing and hacking up stuff (which I'm sure was disgusting for the people around me) so I felt like I needed a little break.

Then I did a walking/jogging combination for the next 3 miles.  At about mile 10 I was walking a lot.  I would tell myself just jog to that no parking sign 100 ft. away or to the next intersection.  And sometimes I would make it and sometimes not.

I was really struggling the last 2 miles and could barely bring myself to jog at all.  But when I started seeing people with medals walking back to their cars as I got closer to the finish line I started jogging because I knew I was close.  As soon as I saw the time on the finish line clock was 2:44, I kicked it in to high gear just to try to get in under 2 hours and 45 min.  And I did!  My official time was 2:44:59. That put my pace at about 12:35 minute miles, which wasn't horrible for me.

At the end of the race I could barely walk and I can still barely walk today.  Yesterday I said that this race was the stupidest decision I have ever made and I would never do another one again.  Today I am thinking "what could I do if I wouldn't have gotten sick and gotten all my training in?"  I kind of want to do another one at some point, but not anytime soon.

Despite the torture it was really cool to get a medal and I  do feel somewhat accomplished having made it to the finish line!  When I first made my 30 Before 30 list I just wanted to run one 5K so it is pretty amazing that I have actually completed a half marathon!!

Bronchitis- Ain't nobody got time for that!

I just got back from a run...er...slow jog/walk.  It was terrible.  It's cold out and I'm still coughing and hacking up stuff.  Well about a 1.5 miles away from my house this huge golden retriever comes out of no where.  Cam and I stop and I see a lady in her pajamas on her phone coming out of the garage across the street to get the dog.  We wait because both dogs are kind of amped up like "what's going on...should I attack you??"  I think the lady has the dog so Cam and I start running again.  Well the dog gets lose and chases us.  I keep jogging as calmly as I can to keep Cam calm but do a u-turn to go back up the street to the lady so she can get her dog who is anxiously all over my dog.  We stop and wait until she has him secure on the leash.  I jogged out of that loop, made it about a block further and then gave up.  I just walked most of the way back to my house while hacking up my lungs and spitting up all kinds of nastiness.

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook tonight and I've watched it about 10 times.  Cracks. me. up.  Preach girlfriend!  I got bronchitis too and ain't nobody got time for that!  Especially when you are supposed to be running a half marathon in 3 days!

My First 10K

I was feeling a little better about running this week.  Last Monday I ran 8 miles in 1 hour 38 minutes.  That's about a 12 min/mi pace but the best part was I ran almost all of it.  I walked for about 30 seconds at the beginning of the last mile on a killer hill in my neighborhood.  But other than that it was a pretty good run.

I took the rest of the week off to save up energy of the race on Saturday.  I was going to do a short run on Wednesday, but was so exhausted from work I decided against it.  I did ride my bike to the grocery store twice during the week, so I did get a little bit of physical activity in.

Thursday night I stayed up until 3 am watching The Hunger Games and Friday I spent most of the day exhausted while working.  But on Friday night I could not fall asleep!  I had to be up by 6:30 am so we could leave for the race at 7 but for some reason I couldn't fall asleep until after 1 am!

I got up shortly after my alarm went off at 6:30 and got dressed, ate a granola bar and chugged a full glass of water.  I also drank a Diet Mountain Dew on the way to the race but amazingly I wasn't as tired as I thought I'd be despite the lack of sleep.

I rode with my friend Mary Beth to the race.  I think it was still dark out when we left.  I am NOT a morning person! AND it was RAINING!  I knew they wouldn't cancel because so much goes in to one of these races.  So it looked like we would be running in the rain.

I just wore my regular running capris and a short-sleeve dri-fit Nike shirt.  The only thing I would have done different was to maybe wear a hat.  The rain does get in your face while you are running and that might have helped.

We didn't pick up our packets early and only had about 30 minutes until the race started at 8am.  So we hurried to pick up our stuff.  For some reason I always get really nervous and have to use the bathroom before a race.  So while I stood in line for the port-a-potty MB took our stuff back to the car.  There was a long line for the bathroom so I was kind of freaking out.  They kept making announcements for runners to make their way to the starting line.  I finally got to use the bathroom and we made it to the start line with 5 minutes to spare.  Which was nice because we didn't have to spend a lot of time waiting around for the start.  I always get claustrophobic at the start or races

This race was a 5K and 10K and everyone lined up and started together.  The 5K runners were instructed to turn around at the water station. I had been expecting a small race because one of the girls in my bible study organized this race and said we had a good chance of winning something because there were only 85 people signed up for the 10K.  But there were a lot of people!  It was not a small race.

The start was crowded but I just tried to keep a steady pace until things thinned out.  About a mile in there was a big hill.  We were going down it, but I knew that meant we'd have to come back up it at the end.  Great.  Wonderful  Gotta love hills.

When we got to the water station I so wished I was turning around with everyone else.  There were so few people that kept on going!  I felt really alone.  I could see about four or five people ahead of me.  At one point when we turned a corner I tried to see if there was anyone behind me.  I couldn't see anyone so from that point on I told myself I was not allowed to look back.  One rule for the 10K was that you had to run at least a 16 min/mile pace.  Seeing no one behind me for that brief second made me think I was the last person and in danger of not keeping that pace!

But then I managed to pass two GUYS!  So I knew there were at least some people behind me.  I also got passed by a grandpa at one point, so yeah, not that impressive.  I kept having to remind myself that this is my race and to stop comparing myself to others because that would just ruin it.

I didn't stop at the water station because at this point I knew if I stopped or walked it would just mess with me mentally.  Then I saw THE HILL.  We had done about 4-5 other hills during this race, but for some reason this one was the worst.  I told myself not to walk.  Just get up that hill.  And I did.  But then I had to walk.  I walked for about a minute ("just to that road sign") and started running again.  I ran until I could see the turn for the last stretch.  I was kind of dying so I decided to walk for just 30 seconds or so in order to really push myself to the finish.  (See I told you I shouldn't have walked because it only led to me walking again!  Keep in mind all this happened in the last 3/4 of a mile.)

When I rounded the last corner and saw that the clock was not to 1:10 yet I was happy.  I ran as hard as I could and made it across the finish line in just over 1 hour 9 minutes!  It was an 11 min/mi. pace which I was happy with!  It was the first race that I actually felt happy and satisfied with!

This race was part of the Chic-fil-a Race Series so they had free Chic-fil-a at the end of the race!  That was a bonus!  And we got a nice tech shirt.  I definitely will do another one of these if they have one in Raleigh again.

My high from the race was short lived though when I thought about the fact that what I ran on Saturday isn't even half of a half marathon.  Oh goodness.  What did I get myself in to?  I loved the 10K, but I am still not feeling good about this half marathon.  Just 3 weeks to go! AHHHHH!

9 miler and Franklin 5K

Soooo...on Friday I made my attempt at 9 miles.  I did 9 miles, but I most certainly did not run 9 miles and the only reason I didn't do less than 9 miles was because it was an out and back run, so I had to get back to my car somehow.

It was soooo freaking hot.  We ran at a little after 4 pm and the sun was blazing.  And I was not in a good place mentally as you guys know.  I was complaining by mile 3.  I had to walk for a bit before we even hit mile 4 (which is not normal). And I walked the last mile and a half almost entirely.  It was the worst run of my life.

I was freaking out because I had a 5K the next day and my legs were so sore I could barely walk before I even finished the run.  So I took an ice bath when I got home.  Yes, I actually dumped ice in my tub and sat in freezing cold water for 20 minutes.  It sucked.  But it worked!  I was a tad sore the next day, but I was expecting to not even be able to walk!

I ran the 5K Saturday morning.  I was slower than I'd like to be, but only a few seconds off my fastest 5K time.  I finished in 34:30.  I'm slow ya'll.  I don't think I will ever be a fast runner.  I've decided after this half, the only thing I want to train for is getting in under 30 minutes for a 5K.

The race was the ZTA Franklin 5K.  I was a ZTA in college at ECU and I was seriously impressed with the event the UNC Zeta's pulled off.  It was really organized, well attended, and the philanthropy (Susan G Komen breast cancer) was evident everywhere.

I even got to see one of my ECU Zeta sisters finish her very first 5K at this race!  I haven't seen her in years, but follow her blog so I feel like I know her better than some people I see on a daily basis.  She rocked it!  She was just ahead of me  for the whole last half of the race and I was so proud of her!  She is seriously superwoman.  She has 3 young kids and a  career and managed to train for this 5K and finish strong!  It was great to see her and meet her adorable kids at the race and see her accomplish a goal I know she's been working towards for a while.  She'll be rocking out a half marathon in no time I just know it!

One of my best friends and fellow Zeta Kristin ran the race with me too.  Being on a college campus and around all those Zeta's made us want to go back to our Zeta days.  We had never seen the ZTA house at UNC so we drove around to find it.  It was huge, but no where near as cute as our house at ECU.  We did love the Pi Beta Phi houses.  That's right we saw two super cute houses that said Pi Beta Phi!  As a former house manager and treasurer, I can't imagine having two houses!  They were both adorable though!  And the Tri-Sigma house had a sailboat etched on their front door which we thought was awesome.  Oh college days, how I miss you.

It was a fun race and cheaper than other 5Ks I've done.  And I didn't know this before we got there, but you can bring your dog!  I so want Cam to run a race with me!  I think I might do this one again next year.

I still can not let go of missing my 8 mile run.  I was going to try to do it on Sunday but I was too dang tired so I am going to try to do it tonight.  Plus, mentally I need a good long distance run after that disaster on Friday.  I was seriously going to try to get a refund on the half.  I was almost in tears at a couple points.  It was sooo discouraging.  But they don't do re-funds, so I have 4 weeks to get there.  I HAVE to do this.

This weekend I have my very first 10K.  I think the main motivating factor for this race is that there will be Chic-fil-a food at the end of it! I really don't want to think about time because I know I will just disappoint myself.  So maybe my goal will just be to do my best and feel good at the end of the race.

I was going to then try to fit in our 10 mile run next Sunday, but we shall see how I'm feeling after the race on Saturday.  I don't want to over-do it!

Oh why oh why did I get myself into this??

My first half marathon training

I'm trying not to let myself get stressed out about this.  I have to just not think about it too much.  I started off strong and had a plan, but now that it is down to crunch time I realize I am a little behind in my half marathon training and these next three weeks are basically going to be hell.

Here is what I have done so far and my plan for the remaining time left before the race:

I didn't stick to the plan I had and things got kind of all over the place.  And please note that when I say "run" it's more like slow jog.  Like 12-11 min/mile pace.  And there might be some walking in some of those "runs".

Now I am kind of freaking out.  Today I am going to try to run 9 miles with a friend.  I say "try" because I have never ran more than 7 miles.  The week after we did that 7 mile run is when it all started falling apart.  The next week we did 6 instead of 8 and then the next weekend we just skipped it all together and when I tried to go out to do 8 by myself I could only force myself to do a little over 4 miles.  

Tomorrow I am running a 5K in Chapel Hill and next Saturday I am running my first ever 10K in Raleigh.  I've already signed up for the half so no matter what I will be attempting to run 13.1 miles on April 15th.

I'm trying not to freak out about it.

And as a bonus, here is a really cool marathon infographic I came across a few weeks ago (click to go to the original source where it is much easier to read):

Have you ever done a half marathon?  Were you freaking out your first time?

Quick catch up

Thank you all so much for your kind comments on my last post.  You guys had some great advice!  I learn so much from my readers.  And all I needed was time and a little perspective and I'm happy to say I'm feeling much better this week!

I think my problem lately has been work is insanely busy and I can never ever get caught up on my to-do list.  Case in point- I just got off a conference call at 11 pm.  That's just not right.  But things will slow down eventually.  I just have to make it through to Memorial Day and then I think things will start to turn around.  But I have noticed I am much more snappy being under all this stress.  I hate it.  I hate being mean and I feel like I am so short and defensive lately at work.  I try to stop myself, but it is like uncontrollable right now.  Sometimes I wish I could just go into a cocoon until all my work is finished so I won't bite anyone's heads off inadvertently.

Ok enough about work....I just finished reading The Help this week and it was FABULOUS!  When I have more time I will do a full review.  I'm going to see Water for Elephants on Friday!  I'm excited and glad to see all of the reviews I've read are positive (lots of bloggers I read saw it opening weekend...so jealous!). 

Easter was great!  I took some friends to church with me and the sermon was really good.  At lunch we were talking about Easter traditions we had growing up or wanted to start eventually.  I hope I have a family one day because I LOVE traditions!  The only things I can remember from growing up were getting an Easter basket, getting a new dress for church, and going to the Easter egg hunt at the community college in our town.  What are some of your Easter traditions?  I might want to steal them :)

Saturday I have my last 5K for a while.  Even tonight when I was running the air was thick and hot and it is just going to get worse.  Summer in the South is hot and sticky.  Part of me loves running in the summer at night and sweating out the day, but some days it is just too stinking hot!  So no races for me after this one until September or October at least.  I am thinking about doing the Bridge to 10K program though.  I still hate my 5K time, but maybe I should try to increase distance instead of speed for now.  But you know what I was reminded of recently?

It's almost Friday!!  WOOO HOOO!

It's been a long week

This week has been stressful.  If I could choose a word to describe how I feel at the end of this week it would be: Failure.  I don't know if it is because I put too much pressure on myself, or if I am just not trying hard enough, or if I get stressed out too easily, but a lot of times in my life I just want to hit the pause button and take a break from my life until it gets a little bit better/easier.

I was so busy at work this week that I forgot to submit my time sheet on Monday and didn't get it in until Wednesday, which meant I didn't get paid.  I am so broke.  I finally got my tax refund and paid off the credit card bill my car repairs racked up in January, but today I went to lunch with some friends and my debit card was declined.  It was so embarrassing. Sticking to #5 and paying all my bills on my own at 30 should not be this hard.  So I feel like a failure financially.

This week was crazy at work with a lot of our products selling out and a lot of new launches getting ready to happen, and that would have been stressful enough, but then I had a conflict with a co-worker that I still don't feel is resolved and is weighing heavily on me.  A few weeks ago we had our big end of the quarter/begining of the year meeting and I felt like I was the only one on our team that didn't get any awards.  I tried to hold it in and not let it bother me, but it does.  The stress along with my distaste for the contracting company I work for and their lack of benefits, vacation time, and lying to me about the amount of my raise has made me question marking off #3- get a job I love.  I feel like a failure at work right now.

I still have no prospects in the romance department and I feel old and ugly and past my prime.  I feel like a failure as a former "cute" girl who could turn a few heads back in the day, but no one seems to notice now.

I did run my third 5K last weekend but my time was pretty much the same as the other two 5Ks I have ran.  Every time I have come in at 37 minutes and xx seconds.  I was not feeling good that day and there was a huge hill at the beginning so I kind of gave up early on and walked the hill.  It didn't get much better after that.  I put #7- Run a 5K on my list because I thought I would feel proud and that I accomplished something, but after 3 of them I have yet to feel proud or accomplished after one.  So yeah I feel like a failure physically.

I wish I could take a vacation or something, but I only have 5 paid days off per year (sick + vacation) and I feel like I need to save them for something important.  I wish I had someone to just cuddle on the couch with that could tell me it is going to be okay.

As sad as it is, I wish I could have a cigarette, but that's the one thing I haven't failed at yet.

Ok I am going to try to stop complaining because I'm even making myself sick with all this woe is me crap.

What do you do to pick yourself up from a long day/week/year/life?


Maybe a jog with Cam listening to the words and melody of this appropriate song will soothe my soul a little...

#23 Dace Lesson Take Two

First off sorry I have been MIA lately, I've been busy, well...ummm...listening to the live feed and reading the message boards for that Brad Cooper murder trial I told you I was obsessed with.  Yeah...it's a problem...full blown obsession.  I think I am going to have to cut myself off and I hope to write a whole blog post about why later.

So last Thursday I went out with some people from work to celebrate a co-worker's birthday.  We went to The Red Room in downtown Raleigh.  It's a tappas place I had been to once before.  First off, if you go, you must try their mango mojito.  It was SOOO good I had to have three!  The tappas were good too.

But the best part about this experience was they gave a free salsa dancing lesson!  Apparently they do these free salsa lessons every Thursday.

I wasn't going to do it at first.  I am very introverted and self-conscious when it comes to dancing for some reason.  But a guy I work with insisted I go up there and be his partner to learn.  (Don't get any ideas...he's married ladies...as are most of the guys over 25 in this town.)

It was really fun!  Seriously, I think I want to go back again.

That is one thing I hope my future husband has...the ability to drag me on the dance floor when I don't want to because I am so self-conscious, but it turns in to one of the most unexpectedly fun things ever.  (Ironically the word I wanted to describe 2011 for me was Unexpected!  You can read about that from this post.)

So #23- take a dance lesson, gets a double check mark off the list!

Also #7- run a 5K is about to get a quadruple check off the list this month.  It already has 2 check marks and I am running another one this weekend and a 4th at the end of the month!  I'm thinking about starting a 10K training program after that and maybe doing a half-marathon at some point?  I don't know.  I change my mind daily based on how my runs go.  One day I'll have a terrific run where I feel great and so energized and relaxed from it, and the next I will have a run that makes me want to give up on running for the rest of my life!  Either way, I never thought I'd even be able to finish a 5K and now I'm running 3 miles, 3 times per week!  Who woulda thunk it!?  This list has definitely changed my life :)

Oh, and still no cigarettes!  And I'm off the Nicorette too!  Let's hope I keep it up once Lent is over!

New Year Goals

I don't do resolutions.  I am not a all or nothing kind of girl.  But I do like to make some goals.  One of the blogs I read had this concept of start something, stop something, and keep something for 2011.  Here are mine:

Start:

Getting to work by 9 am. My job is really flexible and some mornings I don’t get to work until 9:30 or almost 10 am. It’s not an issue for anyone but me because it just means I get a craptacular parking spot and have to stay until 7 pm. This year I want to try to get to work by 9 am or earlier every day.

Cooking more. If I want to have a big family one day I am going to have to have some more recipes in my collection that I have actually made before. I know how to cook. Whenever I do make something it almost always turns out yummy. I just rarely make something more than once and it is almost always only for a big occasion. I am going to try to cook at least one new recipe a week this year.

Wearing Make-up every day. I think my days of rolling out of the house make-up free are gone. I am 30 now and I need to look like an adult woman instead of a 12 year old girl. Plus I need to put my best face forward all the time because you never know when I will bump in to Mr. Right.

Stop:

Neglecting my house. I am going to try to keep my house clean and stop putting off those little things I need to do. I am saving up for a downstairs re-do that should include hardwood floors, paint, new kitchen hardware and faucet, and new lighting.

Drinking like I am in college. I don’t drink that often, but when I do, I go all out like I am a college student on Spring Break. No more. It is not worth it. It is not worth the calories. Not worth the hang-over the next day. And not worth the stories people have to tell of all the stupid things you did/said the next day.

Smoking. Yes I have a dirty little secret and it is that I smoke. I don’t smoke much, only about 3-5 cigarettes at night when I get home from work/before bed. But I am going to quit. I know I can do it because I quit smoking for almost 2 weeks when I went to Dubai last summer. And a lot of people in my life have never even seen me with a cigarette. I just need to stop the night smoking.  It is embarrassing. I hate everything about it and I am finally going to give up those after-work and before-bed cigarettes for good.

Keep:

Growing my faith. I love my relationship with God. I actually love going to church on Sundays and love doing my Bible studies. I love doing things for God that I never thought I would do like getting dunked in a tank of water in front of a bunch of people, going to a Middle Eastern Country, and praying out loud. I love discovering things about myself and about Him through this relationship and I want it to grow even deeper this year.

My Friends. I have this group of friends who is like family to me. We don’t get to see each other as much as we used to because being a grown-up makes everyone so busy, but I love them to pieces. I hate that I am always like the 5th or 7th or 13th etc. wheel because almost every single one of them is married to each other now, but it’s ok. I keep hoping one day I will have a guy that I love that fits right in and becomes one of us. Ski Trip ’11 is coming up in a few weeks. There are 32 of us going I think…This is an annual trip and it has grown from 16 of us sharing a 3 bedroom house to 32 of us in a 4 story mansion! Hopefully there will be many more crew stories to tell from 2011.

Running. I ran (the whole thing!) a 5K a few weeks ago. I loved doing the couch to 5K program and I think I am going to do it again- this time working on speed and run another 5K this spring. Then I hope to do an 8K or 10K (or both) and then a half marathon. I have no desire to do a full marathon. That is just too much for me. But maybe after training for all these races I will actually become a runner. If not, oh well at least I can say I did it.

What things are you going to start, stop, or keep in 2011??

Always wanting the one thing you don't have

It's been almost 2 weeks and Bailey still is not home.  That is all I want right now is for Bailey to come home.  I pray and pray and search and call his name but still nothing.  No sightings.  And part of me is like God could part the Red Sea, why can't he just bring home my cat?

But then I think about all the prayers God has answered- I love my job (yes, I finally admit it...I'm in love.  It makes me smile just driving in and seeing the company sign welcoming me...it's sick I know), I'm not in a financial hardship anymore, I was able to go on a mission trip, I was able to run my 5K two weekends ago without taking any walking breaks, tons of prayers for others have been answered- why is it always the things God is silent on that I hold against him?

First it was finding my husband.  Why couldn't God just let me bump into him at the grocery store?  Why did I have to endure all these sucky relationships?  I used to pray for God to send me my husband every day.  But it isn't as urgent now.  I'm lucky if I remember once or twice a week.  (Ryan Reynolds is back on the market though....I think that is why I couldn't find my husband before, but now he's available!  YES!)

Now my constant prayer is for Bailey to come home.  I sometimes ignore everything else and wonder why I can't have this one thing.  Why is it always the one thing you don't have that takes away all the glory of what you do have?

In other news- I haven't put up my tree.  I haven't shopped.  I haven't sent out the gifts I have for people far away.  I didn't do Christmas cards.  I have no idea what to cook for Christmas dinner and Christmas is almost here!  This is my last weekend to catch up!  I'm starting to feel the holiday stress!

Couch 2 5K

Since the weather is finally starting to get a little cooler, I am finally able to run outside again.  This is the perfect exercise for me because I can bring Cam.  After I have left him alone all day, the last thing I want to do is leave him to go to the gym.

So I decided to download the Couch 2 5K app on my iPhone and I am going to sign up to do the Jingle Bell Run again this year on December 4th.  I did this run 2 years ago so I could mark it off my list.  I did ok, but I still was a little disappointed with my performance.  I finished in 37:21 when I ran this race 2 years ago and this year I would like to finish in under 30 minutes.  But I would be happy with just running the whole thing without having to take a walking break.

I started last night.  My plan is to do the C25K runs on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and keep up my gym routine on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  As a reward to myself I am going to get one of the new i-Pod nanos if I finish the 9-week C25K program on time the week before Thanksgiving.  Maybe they will have a good Black Friday deal on one!!  In fact I am going to have mini-rewards at the 3 week mark (pedicure) and 6 week mark (suggestions?). 

I'm also tracking my calories with the Lose it app.  And hope to get my Nike + sensor working again so I can track my distance on my runs.

Hopefully all this will help with marking #1 off my list- get in the best shape of my life.

Just curious- How would you define "the best shape of your life"?  I'm still not sure about my definition.  It is hard not to measure it by weight, but I know weight isn't the right way to measure it.  But what is?  How will I know when I have arrived?  I thought about measuring it with running time, but that feels like it is missing something to.  So how would you define "best shape of your life"?

My First 5K

I had been freaking out over this 5K for the last month or so (starting about the time I realized how far off my training program I’d fallen.) Well, it was definitely an experience. I actually completed my first 5K, The Jingle Bell Run, in Raleigh last Saturday. I was going to wait for a picture to post with this, but pictures are overrated and I’m impatient.

I had a really bad night the night before the race. I woke up not wanting to go at all. I mean AT ALL. I was in a funk and I knew I was going to suck and I just felt drained. But I had friends that were running in this just because I convinced them to. One even tried to back out the night before and I wouldn’t let her. So I knew I had to go.

The race was in downtown Raleigh and it was chilly out. My friend B had made us these funky scarves for the race. Everyone was in envy of them and kept commenting on them. I wore the dorkiest blue headband to keep my ears warm, gloves, a long-sleeved t-shirt and my typical black pants. I was cold at first, but it warmed up quickly and during the race I was downright HOT. I had to tie the scarf around my waist, take my gloves off, and push up my sleeves to keep from burning up.

It was a very festive atmosphere. Everyone tied jingle bells to their shoelaces. Some people were dressed up in funky Christmas attire. Some people wore reindeer antlers or santa hats. One guy was in a full out santa costume. (He was annoying before the race, but actually motivated me during the race). There were also intimidating people in hard core running gear. I tried to ignore them in their shorts and sleeveless shirts in 40 degree weather. Were they crazy??

When we lined up for the race I was starting to freak out. I HATE crowds and this was a crowd. On top of that I was getting ready to run 3.1 miles. What the heck was I thinking!?! I turned on my I-pod and tried to disappear into my own little world. We were right in the middle of the pack so when the gun went off I tried to ignore what was going on around me and just keep my pace. (Although it was hard to ignore the guy that ran by juggling bowling pins. Yeah, running and juggling the whole way. Show off.)

It was a long run, but flat for the most part. I had to take quite a few walking breaks. But when I was about at the 2 mile mark I ended up near this family that inspired me. The dad was pushing a stroller and he had his two girls, about 6 and 10, running with him. The younger one was feeling it like I was. She kept whining “Daaaadddd, I can’t.” He would stay positive and slow down to walk with her for just a bit, but then say “Ok, we are in the home stretch, you can do it, let’s go.” The older sister would turn around and say “Come on Ella!” encouragingly and the younger one would start running again. For some reason this inspired me. I imagined they were encouraging me too in my head.

My final time was 37:21- under the 40 min mark I was going for. But I did not feel like a success that day. I had come in last out of all my friends. I didn’t feel good about my performance and I just wanted to go home and sulk.

Five days later I feel ok about it. I’m glad I did it. I will do another one and I will beat my time. Heck, I will probably even do this race again because it was very festive and fun. I will just be better prepared physically for the race and I’ll do something light but fun the night before so I am in a good mood on the day of the race. Because it’s just as much mental as it is physical.

Jingle Bell Run...jog...er....walk?

Saturday is the Jingle Bell 5K. I don't know what the heck I was thinking signing up for a 5K in the middle of winter, right in the middle of the Holidays, which everyone knows is the busiest time of the year. If I didn't have people signed up to do this with me, I would just not go. I am not ready physically or mentally for this. Here is what is probably going to happen:

I start off the race jogging with my friends and slowly lag behind until everyone is in front of me so they can't see my miserable failure. Eventually my side will start to hurt and I will start walking. As a ten year old and a grandma jog past I start cursing myself. Suddenly the cold air is getting hard for me to breathe. I start hacking up a lung. Eventually I come to a water station and decide to take a little break. The water break gives me a little renewed energy and I start jogging enthusiastically. As I am jogging I realize my little jingle bells are the only ones I hear. I try to shrug it off and realize my stomach is starting to get a little bubbly. I try to ignore the trauma my intestines are in, but am forced to walk again. I am encouraged because I hear more bells! Suddenly a big heard of people passes me going in the opposite direction. I see a water station ahead and ask the skinny little teenager working it how much further I have. She looks annoyed and says "You're not even halfway through." and rolls her eyes. I jog off just to show her I am not a lazy fatty but as soon as she is out of sight I cut down a back road and hightail it to the car. When my friends ask why they didn't see me cross the finish line I tell them I couldn't find them, so I assumed they were all at the car already. Then I'll go home and cry for the rest of the weekend.

Either that or I will just have a heart attack trying to keep up with everyone which actually might be a little less painful than option A.

Oh well, there's no getting out of it now. I will let you all know how it goes.

And if you are interested in donating or signing up to run with us here is a link to our team page:

Jingle Joggers

Even a $5 donation would help us get closer to our goal! And even though I mainly signed up for this to mark something off my list, it is a good cause and Christmas is the giving season!

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I could list all the most important things that I am really really thankful for like God, my family, friends, and my furry children, but instead here are 5 somewhat obscure things I am thankful for today:

1. Cheap gas. $1.63/gallon is such a breath of fresh air compared to the ever-escalating prices we had going on over the last couple months.

2. Ex-boyfriends. I am thankful for all my past relationships because they all taught me something about myself and love.

3. Facebook. I love this little Internet site because it lets me keep up with what is going on with all the people in my life that I would have otherwise lost touch with.

4. Melatonin supplements. One week of taking these little pills has helped me regulate my circadian rhythms and possibly cured my insomnia.

5. Next week. I am so thankful to have the next 8 days to attempt to prepare for this 5K because I'm going to need it!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

5K Freak Out

So I've ran on the treadmill a couple times over the last week. Not as much as I should be though. I got my time down to under 40 minutes, but that is on a flat treadmill in a climate controlled gym. Running my first 5K in the middle of winter might not have been the best idea. This is how I feel when I think about running in the 5K next weekend:



Oh well, I am thankful I am at least able to run at all (even if it is as slow as molasses)

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Not so Likeable?

Today over at 20 Something Bloggers they are doing their big Blog Swap. Someone else would guest post here and I would do a guest post on their blog. I was pumped. I mean I am trying my best to immerse myself in this little bloggy world and the Blog Swap sounded awesome to me! But you’ll notice- No Blog Swap for me today. My partner never responded to my email. And I never got assigned a new partner. Whatever.

That is the story of my life lately. I don’t know what is going on, but I have never felt so alone. I am starting to get insecure. Do people just not like me? I have always thought I was pretty likeable. But now I am not so sure.

Last week in Bible Study our leader told each of us to call another random person in the group and ask for their prayer request for that week. I never got a call.

Lately no one calls me unless I call them. I spend 9 hours in a cubicle barely talking to anyone because my office is so darn quiet. It is like against the rules to talk around here. I go home and no one calls. I try to call friends sometimes, but 9 times out of 10, no one answers and I don’t do voicemail. If I leave you a voicemail, I am either desperate or it is an emergency. I’m a pretty quiet person in general, but this is killing me.

I have no idea why I am going through this or what I am supposed to learn from it, but it SUCKS.

To take my mind off of the quiet and loneliness, I have challenged myself to run (ahem, jog…or maybe even just walk) 3.1 miles everyday between now and December 6 (the day of my 5K). I went to the gym last night and planned to jog the whole time on the treadmill. (Remember I haven’t jogged in 2-3 weeks!) Well, I got a shooting pain in my side. So I slowed down to a walk until it went away. Then I would jog again until it came back. And repeat. It took me 42:30 to finish 3.1 miles. (I actually thought it would be worse!) My goal is to have a time in the 30-40 min. range on race day. (It’s my first one, so cut me some slack!) And since jogging outside is a lot harder than on a treadmill, I am going to have to really improve on that time over the next 2-3 weeks!

Who needs companionship or talking when there is so much running to be done anyway?

Working Vacation

I am in Orlando today. It is nice and warm and sunny and so much better than the cold rainy weather we were supposed to have in NC this week. I am here for the CIPTUG (Cisco User's Group) trade show. The hotel we are staying at is amazing. It is called the Gaylord Palms. It is like a city unto itself. It has multiple pools, a whole little village with shops and restaurants, and even a putt-putt course. It kind of feels like Vegas without the smoke and slot machine craziness! They have a lake with a boat in the middle that features a Key West themed restaurant. They have a castle and they even have alligators somewhere around here I hear! It is really, really amazing!

They are advertising right now for this big event they have called "ICE". It is "an incredible winter wonderland hand carved from nearly TWO MILLION pounds of ICE!" This event is chilled to a frosty 9 degrees! They give you winter parkas when you enter the event. The theme is Santa's Arctic Blast. They even have a Hidden Holiday Gnome Hunt! The brochure features Santa sliding down a big slide made completely of ICE! It looks AWESOME! But sadly it doesn't start until November 17th.

I will be here until Thursday night, so expect my posts to be short and sweet for the next few days. I did see they had a spa and fitness center downstairs, so maybe I can get back on my 5K training while I am here. In fact as motivation I think I am going to challenge myself to run at least 5 miles over the next 2 days and if I meet that goal I will reward myself with a pedicure!