Tuesday, July 29, 2008

This Year's Forcast: Man Drought

Well, this year it has certainly NOT been raining men in my neck of the woods. This is so disappointing because a lot of things on my list require a man in the picture to complete (i.e. #6 ask out a crush, #26 kiss in the rain, #11 open my heart to someone). And speaking of crushes, most anyone that knows me knows that I ALWAYS have a crush. Shockingly enough, right now (probably for the first time in my life) I have no crush. Not even a celebrity crush! I mean Matthew McConaughey is hot, but even he is married (I think) and has a kid now, so what’s the point?

Raleigh is often touted as one of the best places to live for singles. Why!?! Where are all these eligible men? My guesses are they are either A) all in MBA or doctorate programs at the universities around here (maybe it’s time to go back to school?) or B) they are doctors, or lawyers or in some other high powered/high stress position which leaves no time/energy for socializing or C) too young/old for me or D) too shy to approach a girl, and if they are waiting on me to approach them, well they will be waiting a LONG dang time!

I even tried online dating and it is definitely not for me. I am too paranoid about the creepers/stalkers/psycho killers that could potentially be on there, not to mention the losers/ slackers/ crazies/egomaniacs that you would find in normal dating situations. I tried talking to a few guys but I was not feeling it at all and either let them fizzle out or just ignored their calls completely (mean, I know- I’m sorry!). Who knows maybe I am too guarded?

But I am really starting to hate the single life- who am I kidding? I already hate it. I hate not having anyone to help with daily things in life. I hate not having that emotional support to come home to at the end of a bad day. I hate not having someone that I can take to “couple” activities. I hate not having someone to have inside jokes with. I hate the pressure I keep feeling every time I get on invitation that says "Susan and guest". I hate always feeling like the loser single person. I hate even thinking about having to go on an awkward date and going through the whole “getting to know you” process again only to find out that in the end it just won’t work. I hate everyone telling me it is going to happen when I least expect it, enjoy it while you can, blah, blah, blah. (All this coming from people who are already ½ of a happy couple, so really, can they completely understand?)

I have 2 years to find someone that gives me butterflies. Someone that makes me laugh, someone that I can trust, and someone that “gets” me- basically someone that I can open my heart to. He doesn’t per se have to be my future husband (but that would be nice). Just someone I can get to know and hopefully love. I need help. If you know of any single, smart, funny, employed, attractive men, let me know. Also, I love hearing how couples met so I can get ideas of what I can be doing to meet someone. So if you are a part of a happy couple, let me know how you met so I can get some ideas going!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Inspiration from the Last Lecture

Today Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch died at his home in Chesapeake , Va. In his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium, he spoke about how he fulfilled his childhood dreams (all except playing in the NFL) and how he went on to become a professor to enable others to follow their childhood dreams. It is a great speech and very inspiring.

I saw him and parts of his last lecture on Oprah (yes, I love Oprah). It was one of the best episodes I have ever seen. It touched me personally because Randy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which is what my dad died of. So I just knew the long difficult journey he had in front of him. But he had such a great outlook and it was so moving. In fact one of the most memorable things for me from the speech was when he talked about how you have to choose whether you are going to be a Tigger or an Eeyore. Which are you?

Other great tips from the speech:

When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, don’t pay attention to anything they say, just what they do.

Brick walls are there to let us show our dedication.

Tell the truth and be earnest.

Apologize when you screw up.

Focus on other people and not on yourself.

When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.

Show gratitude.

Find the best in everybody.

Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.

In the news article I read on his passing there was a great quote from him about living life to the fullest. He said, "We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well and living fully."

Just more inspiration for my list! We’re all here for a reason and it is up to us to watch the signs that guide us on the journey and have fun along the way. I don't think I would be prepared to give my own "Last Lecture" if asked to today. I guess that is why I am keeping this blog- so that I won't forget anything along the way and I can share it with all of you!

If you haven’t seen Randy Pausch's Last Lecture it is great, so check it out:


or check out his book:


Thursday, July 24, 2008

Run Suz Run!

So before I even thought of "the list" I bought a runner's journal. I am excited because this is going to be useful for #1 and #7 on my list. But let me just preface this by saying I hate running. Well it's more like I hate thinking about and getting ready to run. I love how I feel after I run and I do love getting through the run, but it takes a lot for me to actually get motivated and take the time to go do it. And I don't really run....I jog, and right now I take a lot of walking breaks during the jog, so technically it's not "running".
I did good the first 2 weeks with my runners journal. I was jogging 5 days a week and recording my time and the weather conditions and how I felt...but my last entry in the journal was over a week ago.

I started the fall from running glory when I went to the beach last weekend and a tropical storm met us there. That zapped any motivation I might have had. I should have been able to make time to go run at least once in the last 3 days though...but I didn't.
So now I am sitting here writing this blog to avoid running yet again. But now in addition to my upcoming cruise (16 days to go! WooHoo!) I have not one but 2 things on my list to motivate me. So I am going to go upstairs to change and just do it!
Unless I think of another excuse....

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Welcome to my blog and the "30 Before 30 List"

So this is my official blog...we'll see how this goes. Someone once told me that writing your thoughts down helps you let go of things and since I have been so stressed lately maybe this will help. So where am I in my life right now? Well in exactly 3 weeks I will turn 28. I don't like my job very much, I have no prospects in the love department, and trying to be everything to all of my friends is starting to wear on me. I have had disappointments in my life. The only family I have left is my mom and my uncle. My grandparents are all gone. My dad died almost 10 years ago. And I have no siblings. So life can get lonely. On the plus side, I have a great group of friends that I love. I am getting ready to go on a cruise (for a whole week!) and I'm not as broke as I used to be. I have a great dog (Cam- a border collie) and a great cat (Bailey) and I own my own house. So things aren't too terribly bad. I have been very stressed lately. Being an adult is hard. It never seems like there is enough time in the day and my life seems to be in fast forward (but not really going anywhere).

So I decided to make a list of 30 things I want to do before I am 30:
(click on any of the crossed off items to read the story of how I marked it off the list!)
  1. Get in the best shape of my life
  2. Try snowboarding
  3. Get a job I love
  4. Take Cam to an agility class
  5. Pay all my own bills (with no help from mom)
  6. Ask out a crush
  7. Run a 5K
  8. Go to a water park and not feel self-conscious
  9. kayak
  10. Catch a fish
  11. Open my heart to someone
  12. Make a baby laugh
  13. Change a diaper (no I have never done this)
  14. Go on a mission trip
  15. Help a stranger
  16. Find a doctor I trust
  17. Grow a plant
  18. Upgrade one room in my house
  19. Travel abroad
  20. Swim with a dolphin
  21. Go skinny dipping
  22. Visit Washington, DC
  23. Take a dance lesson
  24. Sing Karaoke
  25. Invest in the stock market
  26. Kiss in the rain
  27. Read the Bible all the way through
  28. Go see a movie at the theater- alone!
  29. Attempt Surfing
  30. Purchase 1 piece of expensive jewelry for myself
I just don't want life to pass me by and I want to make sure I have fun while I can. So I'll keep you updated on my progress!