Thursday, November 20, 2008

Man Voice

I have the funk. My voice? Gone. It happened so quickly I didn’t even notice. I went to the mail room yesterday to look for an envelope and when a lady in there asked me what I was looking for, I tried to say “Envelopes” and nothing came out. This was right before lunch and it was only then that I realized it was the first time I tried to actually talk to someone that day. My voice must have disappeared overnight without me realizing it. (Good thing I don’t need to use it too much!)

I did get a phone call from my BIFF last night (she read my blog and took pity). By that time, I had figured out that if I dropped to my lowest octave it was possible to speak. BIFF got me meet Man Voice. It is so embarrassing. I seriously sound like a dude.

So between having a “nobody-loves-me-why-won’t-anyone-talk-to-me” day yesterday and losing my voice today, I think God is trying to tell me something.

It could be that I need to be like a monk and listen to my “inner voice”

Or it could be because I have had the urge to call The Ex for the last couple weeks and this is God’s way of saying “Ha! Go ahead and call him now with your Man Voice. Bet he’ll love that!”

(Seriously I know I do not need to call him. We probably definitely aren’t meant to be. He was just so nice to me and I’m so lonely. I miss the attention. Or maybe we were meant to be and I am just too picky. I was so mean to him. Maybe he was right and I was just so wrong. I don’t know. These are the types of tricks my mind has been playing on me lately! I heard he has a new girlfriend and probably wouldn’t want me back anyway, so this is a blessing.)

Either way, I am now actually trying NOT to talk until Man Voice is gone. Crazy how things work in life huh?

1 comment:

magda said...

Resist! Resist calling the ex. You'll regret it. It's possible I've done this enough times to know.

I think it's really beautiful that you're using your lost voice and self-doubt as a lesson from God. Those lessons, no matter their shape, are really valuable--but too often overlooked.

Glad things are looking up : )