Saturday, November 22, 2008

Haunting of the Exes

Lately I have felt haunted. Haunted by the boys of relationships past. Some guys you date (especially for a long period of time) seem to never go away. They haunt your thoughts when you are lonely. They will pop up just when you thought they were totally gone. They'll send you a random text message or call you just when you thought they were gone forever.

I dated this one guy for five years and did the "can't completely let go of each other" thing with him for 2 more years after that. I finally moved away from him and thought it was all over, but he still pops up every once in a while. He'll randomly call me sometimes. I do not want to be with him again at all, but he did give really great hugs and I find myself craving a good long hug from him sometimes. Luckily for me he lives like 300 miles away, so I never have to see him again (unless I wanted to).

Then there is The Ex. I miss how much he spoiled me. I do not want to be with him anymore, but I miss the attention. He is the one that scares me the most because he lives in my city. Yesterday I went to the mall and I was so scared I was going to run into him and his new girlfriend. I kept praying "please, please don't let me see him" and walking as quickly as possible so I could get out of there. Luckily he does not do the random call or text thing, so unless the fates align I will probably never have to see him again.

And of course I am always going to be haunted by The Love. He was the one I will compare everyone else to. The tragedy that changed my life. But there is nothing I can do to change that and I know I will never run into him again (unless real ghosts really are real.) Oh which reminds me about my loathe for Grey Anatomy right now. The Izzy/Denny thing is so unreal...where the heck are they going with that??

Then there are lots of random "almost" relationships. Guys that I really liked and have even maybe made out with, but for some reason or another a relationship didn't happen at the time. I always wonder "what if?" about them. I find myself wanting to run into them again just to see if the spark is still there.

I hate being haunted.

It probably doesn't help that I am reading Twilight right now. I mean Edward and his "dazzling" make me wish for a vampire encounter myself.


magda said...

I'm so with you on the Izzy/Denny thing. I keep wanting her to just wake up and have it be all in her head. It's getting stupid, if you ask me (which maybe you did, in a sort of indirect bloggy way...)

Letting go of past relationships is really hard. I wish I had an easy answer or tonic, BUT ALAS. If you find one, let me know, okay? : ) In the mean time, hang in there.

Vianca Hidena said...

I totally understand what is about our ex's ... now and then i still thinking on them and sometimes wondering what they are up to and maybe wishing to know about it ... i need to be honest that i did contacted one but it became a acward situation so we stop...
try to keep yourself busy with other thoughts and you will be ok ...