Thursday, June 3, 2010

Defining Character: Making Wise Choices & Trusting Fate

Have you ever thought about the choices you’ve made in your life so far and how they have got you to where you are now?  Life is nothing but a big series of choices we must make and those choices lead us down one path or another.  Sometimes we make choices without even thinking about it.  Sometimes we stress and stress over a choice that needs to be made.  Sometimes it seems as if a choice has been made for us and we have no say.  But in the end, your life is determined by the choices you make everyday.

I often wonder about the concept of fate and pre-destination vs. free will and how much each one plays a role in where I end up in my life.  Sometimes I think even if I make the wrong choice, somehow I will still end up where I need to be, it will just be a much more difficult or different road I take to get there.

That’s why I try not to stress out about my choices anymore.  I know who I am and I trust my decision making ability.  I don’t think I’m infallible.  I know I will make mistakes sometimes, but I trust that no matter what, I am going to end up where I am meant to be.  I spend lots of time reading, studying, and learning about a variety of topics and issues so I feel like I will almost always make informed decisions. 

I don’t “follow my heart”.  Following your heart without taking in to account what you know in your head can lead you down very bad roads sometimes.  I take in to account what my heart is feeling, but I don’t blindly follow my heart.

I am trying to trust my gut in most instances though.  I really think women especially have a keen gut instinct that is usually a good guide.  Maybe it is the momma bear protection that is built in to us.  We can often tell when something is off.  Usually it is when we ignore our gut instincts that we end up in trouble.

I think God is ultimately in control of where I end up in my life (He controls my “fate”), but I know choices are important and a deciding factor in the type of journey I have!


If I would have chosen a different college, I would have never met most of the friends I have today.

If I would have chosen to not move to Raleigh, I would never had the jobs I’ve had, the house I live in, and the life I have now.

If I would have chosen to not get a dog a few years ago, I would never have Cam- my LOVE!

If I would have chosen to break up with the long timer earlier while I was still in college, I could have met and dated a lot more guys…but would that mean I would've had more heartbreak or less?

Try not to look back too much because then you will start to play the “what if” game.  And what's done is done, you can't change that.  I just try to trust that no matter what choice I make I will somehow end up where I am meant to be.  It’s just a matter of how difficult, exciting, painful, joyful, interesting, or easy I want to that journey to be.

Here are some great quotes about choices and fate:

“Many of life's circumstances are created by three basic choices: the disciplines you choose to keep, the people you choose to be with; and, the laws you choose to obey” ~Charles Millhuff

“We need to teach the next generation of children from Day One that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind's greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.” ~Gary Collins

“Every choice moves us closer to or farther away from something. Where are your choices taking your life? What do your behaviors demonstrate that you are saying yes or no to in life?”

“Your intelligence is measured by those around you; if you spend your days with idiots you seal your own fate.”

“Each man is the architect of his own fate.” ~Appius Claudius

“The fates lead him who will - him who won't they drag.” ~Seneca

“There are no little events in life, those we think of no consequence may be full of fate, and it is at our own risk if we neglect the acquaintances and opportunities that seem to be casually offered, and of small importance.” ~Amelia E. Barr


What do you guys think of the issue of fate vs. free will (choice)?

3 comments:

woodlandsblonde said...

Women definitely have amazing instincts - I hope you are listening to them :)

That was one HUGE thing in my last relationship, I really listened to myself. I feel like it always led me in the right direction.

Thank you for the quotes and your insight :)

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

I've gotta say, I'm pretty guilty of BLINDLY following my heart....I don't regret it most of the time...most of the time...not all of the time.

Jen said...

I really loved these quotes! I do believe in "fate" and "destiny" but I think you are right that the choices we make determine the journey.