Sunday, December 28, 2008

All By Myself

I marked something else off my list today. I went to see Marley and Me at the theater...alone! I don't know why I thought this was such a big deal. Did I feel uncomfortable walking into the theater by myself? Yes. Would it have been better to go to the movies with someone? A friend or perhaps a boy? Probably. Would it have been better to stay home in my pajamas all day? No.

It was a movie I really wanted to see. I knew I was going to cry because I had read the book and I know how it ends. And I am NOT a public crier. So I was glad to be by myself. I was boo-hooing at various parts throughout the movie, but didn't have to feel self-conscious because there was no one I knew there. The movie was pretty good, but the book was WAY better (by the way, the book is almost always way better than the movie.) Really, going by myself was no big deal once I stopped worrying about other people judging me and feeling uncomfortable being alone.

It motivated me to come home and take my dog to the dog park. Alone. Well, me and him, but still. It was great. I got out the house and had an active full day because I wasn't waiting around on other people to hang out with.

I hate that being alone makes people (including me) feel uncomfortable. I think a lot of it is imposed upon us by society. One is the loneliest number and all that crap. But you know what, I am going to try to embrace it more. I think that's what this exercise was all about. I am going to get more comfortable being by myself. It's ok. I don't need to feel any "less than" because there is not someone by my side. Next time I find myself wanting to do something and having no one to do it with, I am just going to push away that uneasiness and do it. Because it is ok to be a party of one sometimes.


magda said...

Awesome work! I've never gone to the movies alone ... and have missed a lot of films I'd have loved to have seen because of it.

I may just take your lead and be a proud party of one sometime. It'll take some getting used to, but like they say, it's character building, right?

Wani said...

Congrats on hitting the theater alone. I used to do it alot when I was right out of highschool and worked weird hours at the airport. I'd hit a matinee at the dollar theater on the way home because I didn't really want to go home just yet. Its not so bad once you get used to it.

Cynthia Carlson said...

Be your own best friend. We all deserve that.