Thursday, February 5, 2009

Dreams and Nightmares

I had a really vivid dream last night that I was about to get laid off.

There was a big scary man named “Dr. Evil” and all these rumors flying around about layoffs happening all around the building. I had a huge pit in my stomach. I felt it coming. I felt like everyone around me knew I was about to get the ax. I felt all this anticipation and build up and then I saw Dr. Evil coming towards our department. I overheard names being discussed. I saw other people in another part of the building who looked as if they had just come from a funeral. Shock, sadness, and sympathy poured out of their eyes. Next thing I knew I was in a conference room and a loud, low, somber voice was reading off names. Somehow I knew these were the names of the people who needed to vacate the building immediately and never return. I knew mine was coming. It was almost here. And then I forced myself to wake up so I wouldn’t have to hear it.

I imagine a lot of people are having these same types of nightmares with this stupid recession going on. Some people are actually living out these nightmares. How can you not think about it when the news is all doom and gloom and everyone keeps reminding you that you are lucky to have a job? Companies are tightening their belts and preparing for the worst. Everyone seems to be a pessimist now. It’s hard to stay optimistic.

I have always been a dreamer. I like to imagine the possibilities that are out there. But right now my dreams get snuffed out before they even have a chance to really form. I feel stuck, but I don’t really want to get “un-stuck” because it is scary out there.

Losing your job in this economy would be worse than going through a bad break up. You’d feel rejected and scared. Your finances would quickly deteriorate and your lifestyle would soon follow. Your chances of a quick recovery are pretty slim.

I did a little research on “what to do when you are laid off” this morning, but just reading about it made my stomach turn. I feel like I need to be saving up or seeing what else is out there, but I feel like if I took that step to covering my butt, my butt would be kicked out the door!

So for now I’ve placed my dreams on hold. I try to be happy being “stuck” and not be overcome with fear and depression at the thought of my nightmare coming true.


Anonymous said...

Hey Suz, that wasn't "Dr. Evil" that was Donna Peffley...ha,ha,ha. Just keep in mind Who runs this universe! Psalms 9:10 "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." Global will be fine, we just need to hang on till this economy turns around.

Brooklyn said...

Hang in there Susan - you're stronger than you think! I know it's tough but try not to worry too much.