Thursday, September 18, 2008

Thoughts on finding “The One”…

My Dating History so far:

Kindergarten BFF- taught me boys can be fun! (Dump Trucks Rock!)

Rat-tailed 5th grader fling- taught me the stress of Valentine’s Day (I couldn’t take the pressure so I dumped him that day- He was way more into me and I didn’t like that rat tail)

Middle School Boys- where I developed the art of the crush

First High School BF- taught me how embarrassing my dad can be and how a first kiss can give you butterflies (then he moved away)

My First BadBoy- taught me guys are liars and cheaters even if they do act like they love you

First Upperclassman- taught me even cute guys can be big dorks

Band Guy- taught me guys can be really sweet and nice but also can rip a friendship apart (even though it totally isn’t worth it, I shouldn’t have been jealous)

First LOVE- taught me what love really feels like and how much life can hurt

Rebound Guy- taught me how you can kiss other boys and not feel guilty when you just aren’t that into someone (sorry rebound guy)

The LONG timer- taught me a guy can totally get you and be your bestest friend ever but at the same time totally SUCK at being a boyfriend (and that guys can make girls go crazy)

The Work Romance- taught me a guy can be an AMAZING boyfriend but if you don’t “get” each other or “click” it just won’t work

I think I have learned a lot from my past relationships. I just need to find someone who can be my best friend but at the same time not SUCK at being a boyfriend. Someone that gives me butterflies but can also make me laugh until it hurts. Someone that wants to have crazy adventures with me and my friends. Someone I can be silly with but who will also do romantic things to surprise me every once in a while. Kind of a mix between the last 2 guys I dated with a lot of the qualities of my First Love. Why is that so hard to find?

But you know what? I am starting to think there isn’t just one guy out there that would fit this bill. I think a lot of it is about timing and confidence of the 2 parties involved. I mean if he won’t approach me, shake me and say “I like you stupid” then it would probably just pass me by because I am so oblivious. Also, if I don’t get my confidence up it’s never going to happen. I need to quit obsessing, but it is hard when your house is so quiet and you feel so isolated everyday. Plus I have a lot of stuff on my list that requires me to find a guy:
#6- Ask out a crush
#11- Open my heart to someone
#26- Kiss in the rain

(Even #23- Take a dance lesson will probably require a boy!)

Oh the pressure! Or Maybe I am just having a down week…who knows!

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