Money Money Money

It is my biggest worry every single day. (Well, that and food choices/excise time battle for top place sometimes). I love money and I hate it. It has almost become a dirty word though. It is the root of all evil. I wish it would just go away sometimes, but it is like air, water or food- you need it to survive. And people can be so judgemental about it sometimes! A wise Jewish woman once told me "Don't look in other people's pockets"- meaning don't be concerned about other people's money situation, just focus on your own. I think that is good advice.

But I just got an annoymous comment on my last post and I felt I should address it. This person expressed that I was materialistic and frivilous with my money and that is why they would not be contributing to my mission trip fund.

Dear Anonymous-I'm sorry if you feel I am materialistic in my posts. The reason for this is probably because I don't get to shop anymore, so I have to dream. I will address your specific concerns though:

a) my dog- I spent $46 on a photo shoot for my dog. This also included shooting my mom's dog which will be part of her mother's day and maybe even birthday presents. In my opinion it is better than blowing $30 on something she may never use.

b) yes I want to remodel my kitchen but I have had to modify my plans. Instead of getting new appliances and hardwood floors, I bought about $20 in accessories and some knobs and drawer pulls for about $20. I want to get a new faucet for the sink and new light fixture, but have not found a good deal on those yet. But I estimate this will be less than most people spend on their monthly cable bills.

c) I have not been on an online dating site in a year. That was pre-layoff and I would never spend money on that now.

d) As far as what would happen to the money people donate should I not raise enough- this money goes directly to the church. The checks are made out to "The Summit Church" and online donations are sent directly to the church. None of this money goes to me personally. Should I be unable to raise enough funds to go, this money will be used to fund other people on mission trips through the church. They have a scholarship you can apply for as soon as you cover the cost of your airfare (in my case that is $2000). If I were unable to go or didn't raise enough funds, the money I raised would be put into that fund.

Mr. or Miss Anonymous, I am sorry you find such faults with me as a person and feel that I am materialistic and frivolous. I may post about what I am lusting after or good deals I get when I go shopping every so often- I spent about $50 this month trying to get more organized and make my house feel more homey, but I can asure you 80-90% of my money goes to just living and bills. I do not feel frivolous when I have no home interenet and approximately 3 channels on my TV. I do not feel frivolous wearing the same 3 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of jeans each week (not even enough for a whole week!). I do not feel frivolous when I am driving and scared to death of getting in an accident because I do not have health insurance right now. I do not feel frivolous rotating the same 2 pairs of shoes (one black, one brown) each week. I do not feel frivolous when I am freezing in my house because I have to keep the thermostat on 66. I do not feel frivolous when I get down to less than $10 in my checking account each month, but still manage to not carry a balance on my credit card.

If you would like to give me some finacial advice, I invite you to email me. I am always looking for where I can cut more from my budget. But please keep in mind that you only see a snippet of my life on this blog. And since I spend money so infrequently on anything out of the ordinary, I want to share it. It is a HUGE deal.

I do realize a lot of things on this list require money to do. I will admit I did not think much about that when I made the list and had no idea I would be laid off in the middle of trying to complete it.

It may seem strange to try to go on a mission trip when money is so tight for me, but God has lead me to this mission trip at this time and I am trusting Him to provide for me through people who are able and willing to contribute.

I appreciate your comment and respect your decision to not contribute. However I would appreciate if you have concerns with me to not just annonymously jab at me. If you care enough about me to continue to read my blog, you should know I would welcome an email from you with constructive criticism and love to discuss how you think I could do better. I however do not appreciate jabs at me made annoymously.

I am thankful for what I have and I hate even having to write a post to try to defend myself. Could I cut more from my budget? Sure, but I am doing the best I can to try to adjust my lifestyle to my new salary. And I think I have done a pretty good job so far. I don't write about the sacrifices I make like missing out on the annual ski trip with my best friends or not being able to make a trip to Charlotte to celebrate my old roommate's 30th birthday.

Because I know I have it good. I am not sleeping in a tent everynight. I do not have to ride the bus to and from work everyday. I have food in my cabinents. I have indoor plumbing. But that doesn't mean I haven't had to go without a lot of things I had become used to and with each one I see go, I am mourning the loss, and it take some getting used to.

You should know your comment really did effect me though. I am very hurt by your words and I am constantly beating myself up over how I could do better in life, be a better person, and help others more. I hate asking for help in anything. I mean hate it! This fundraising thing was the biggest hurdle for me to accept when deciding to go on this trip because I did not want to ask for help. And that one little comment just reinforced all of that. I never cry and just that one little comment brought tears to my eyes.

So yeah...I couldn't just respond with a comment back, it required a whole post. That's all I have to say.