Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Sex as a Commodity?

Earlier today I got kind of hot and bothered by a post I saw over at Brazen Careerist called: What's wrong with sleeping your way to the top? In it, the author compares trading sex for career favors to networking in order to get ahead. Call me old fashioned, but that thought creeps me out.

Here is a quote from the article that I would hope never comes out of my future husband's mouth:

"I have zero problem with any consenting adult who transacts sex for opportunity. For me, sex isn’t a sacred thing that can’t be traded for."

WTF? Basically he must be totally fine with prostitution. And not to mention sex isn't a sacred thing or anything so I would be willing to guess he isn't the most "faithful" guy out there either.

I dated a guy I worked with for almost a year. It was in no way, shape, or form to get ahead. In fact, I almost didn't date him at all BECAUSE I worked with him. And I would have to think long and hard about ever doing that again.

Look, in my opinion relationships and dating are complicated enough WITHOUT the sex. When you throw sex in the mix then that at least doubles the complexity. On top of all of that, he is suggesting to add another layer by being in a relationship with someone and then having sex with them in hopes to advance your career?

No thank you.

I'm not saying that networking and helping people you know personally get an opportunity or boost their career somehow is not a good thing. I think it is a good thing to try to help a friend out. But even there, things could get tricky if you are their manager or something.

A commenter on the original post also went on to say that all stay at home moms are essentially trading sex to be able to stay at home and not earn a living outside of the home. I do not see this as being the case. A marriage to me is a partnership and if it makes more financial sense for one person to stay at home with the kids and take care of the house, then that is joint decision. Have you ever seen day care rates? I seriously doubt any wife ever thought "Gee, if I keep having sex with my husband, maybe he will let me stay at home all day and not have to work." (well, maybe some wives, but not the good ones hopefully.)

I just never thought of sex as a commodity- something to be traded for like milk or eggs. To me sex IS sacred. It's not something that can be traded for.

Is this how all men think? No wonder I hate dating!

What do you guys think?


Angela said...

Having sex in order to "network" ISN'T networking. It IS prostitution, and it's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Well I can't speak for all men, but this man (who happens to try to follow Gods plan for life)thinks that the author of that post is wrong in sooooo many ways! God gave us sex and it is supposed to be pleasurable and sacred and between a man and a wife. What that guy is talking about IS prostitution! On top of that, if you don't have the skills to make it to the top then just what kind of manager or VP or whatever are you going to be if you got there by selling your body? You will fail in the end and will have sold away one of your greatest treasures just to get better pay. That just doesn't make sense to me! And one more thing; what kind of manager promotes someone because they were willing to sleep with them? That doesn't sound like a company I want to work for. Whatever happened to morals in the workplace (or any place for that matter)? People, open your Bible and read! The instructions for a happy, fulfilling, successful, meaningful life are in there!

Heath said...


Suz said...

haha! Yeah I really do hate whores!

magda said...

This kind of thing really shocks me. Talk about dehumanizing, seriously! Stories like this--and the fear that this viewpoint is more widespread that I realize--makes me think the convent mayn't be such a bad option after all!

Where do these broken people come from?

Anonymous said...

I am a man in his 40s. My wife and I got married when we were your age. At the time, on the subject of stay-at-home mom trading sex, I am sure she and I would both say the same exact thing you guys are saying now. Unfortunately, life takes unexpected turns. Not that I think very differently now, the reality is very different. She doesn't like to have sex with me anymore. No, I am a nice guy, a good husband, good father and hopefully I am not so terrible in bed. She just doesn't think sex is so important anymore. She stays home. I don't demand sex in return like that guy. So she doesn't have sex with me very often (6-7 times a year). I don't agree with that guy who expects sex in return for his wife to stay home but I understand where he is coming from.

Anonymous said...

To the last commenter: Your situation saddens me. You two should seek counseling for your relationship if that is all the sex you're having. Its not healthy for your relationship to not be intimate. It is meant to be a sacred gift to a man and woman inside the bonds of marriage. It should be something that you both desire to share - not a service to be traded, or a bi-monthly obligation. Don't be afraid to get some help for the sake of your marriage and your family.