Sunday, August 29, 2010

I don't pray out loud

When I talk to God it is usually in my head.  If it is not in my head, it is always somewhere in private.  I equate it to my singing.  One of the things on my list was to sing karaoke and that is because I do not sing in public unless it is with a big group where my bad singing will be drowned out.  I'll belt it out in the car or dance and sing in my kitchen sometimes, but never in public.  This is kind of how I am with praying.

So today I started back with volunteering at the First Time Guest table at church.  Now they have a meeting during the service for all the volunteers where they give us updates and give us a chance to share anything we want to about how things are running.

Well then they say we are going to break in to groups of 2 or 3 to pray.  I start to freak out.  I start thinking "is there anyway I can slip out of here without anyone noticing?"  But there wasn't.  I was right by the door but I was blocked in.

So then it is time...the guy is done talking and we are supposed to break into groups.  Our campus pastor's wife turns to me and says "Do you want to pray together?"  I want to simply say "I don't pray out loud." and run out of the room.  But I just smile and nod.

I got through it but let me tell you, I suck at praying out loud and I was so thankful when it was over.  I let her do most of the talking to God and then took a deep breath and said a few things and felt awkward the entire time.  I know that is horrible, but I just suck at praying out loud.  And like the karaoke, I don't think it will ever be something I just jump up and volunteer to do.

How do you guys pray?  Do you pray in your head or out loud?  Is it all eloquent or is it more like having a conversation with a friend and totally random?

On a side note, it has been a while since I have been to church because I have been out of town so much, and it felt so good to be back.  This big, huge church really is starting to feel smaller.  I saw a few people who went on the Dubai trip with me and lots of others I recognized.  And now I am the one answering all the newbies questions.  And God is still there.  You can just feel Him there and I love it!  I need Him and I need to seek Him out more in my day to day activities.

P.S.  I am trying to get caught up on the Bookshelf Blog.  Go check out my most recent reviews of At First Sight and Twenties Girl.


Deanna@MilesToRun said...

Praying out loud is uncomfortable for me as well.

When I'm alone, I pray in my head. But, with three young children, I pray out loud around them. As a family we pray at mealtime (out loud), and at bedtime.

My children go to a small Christian school and they way they were taught to pray is to follow the ACTS way of praying.

A-adoration (giving praise to God).
S-Supplication (or asking)

This is what we try to model when we pray with our children. Now, when we are in a group of adults or a Bible study group, we usually go around the room and briefly pray about something on our mind.

Even though you know that no one is judging you for your prayer, it can still be uncomfortable because it's a private thing for each of us.

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

I don't pray out loud either and I don't think I have ever prayed out loud around other people! Sometimes I worry about the way I pray, like I'm doing it wrong or something. I really like the ACTS acronym from the comment above!

Anonymous said...

i totally understand! im the same way. even when it is just me i pray in my head. mainly bcuz its easier for me to thnk about things than to put them into words. but i dont like praying in front of people either because im a horrible public speaker and because i feel praying is very personal to me and sometimes it makes me uncomfortable for other people to hear whats on my mind. but it is something id like to improve on and im sure with gods guidence he'l speak through us and give us the right words to say!