Thursday, April 8, 2010

People shock me sometimes

It has been a hard 2 weeks. I have been exhausted. I have cried tears of joy, tears of anger, tears or sadness, tears of frustration, and even tears of exhaustion. And I am not a crier. I don't know what has been going on with me, but ever since I started fundraising for this mission trip I have been on an emotional roller coaster. It doesn't all have to do with that. There are other things going on too. But that seemed to be a catalyst for all this madness. Lately it has been a lot of really high highs and a lot of really low lows for me on the emotional wreck scale.

And I've been too busy to blog about it all! I know bad me...but here's a snippet of my thoughts this past week:

Saturday I got the best gift ever in the mail. Rebecca from Diary of Jane sent me the most awesome card with the sweetest message. Inside there was a big donation for my mission trip, $10 a co-worker of hers donated to the cause, and a $25 Target gift card to help me with #18 on my list- Upgrade one room in my house! I was shocked and elated. I cried. I called friends and gushed to them. I've never even met Rebecca, but she has been following my blog forever. Seriously...I think she may have been my very first comment from someone I didn't know in real life. I am so grateful to her. Her generosity blew me away.

To get it on the eve of Easter was really something big for me too. I was kind of dreading Easter. I was going to have to go to church by myself. It was going to be a long day because my volunteer service was pushed back to 1:00. And just so you know, the Easter Bunny doesn't come to visit single people apparently.

But this gift reminded me of the best gift I have ever been given- Christ dying in my place on the cross. It filled me with such thankfulness and joy, I was really able to have a great Easter the next day. Radical generosity is one of the only things I have found that can really break down people's walls and truly look at life different and change them from the inside out. When someone gives you a gift that is so big and so generous that you don't even feel like you can accept it, it can change you, transform you, and all you have to do is accept it.

This was one way someone shocked me this week, but there have been others too. And not all of them have been good. You never know what people are going to say or do and how that is going to affect you and your day. Ugh...moving on now...

I'm going to try to keep up with this blog. I am going to try to mark some things off my list. But I must confess, it has been difficult lately. I start losing energy and hope. It's still there though...I'm still going and I promise to try harder.


Sam said...

That's so nice of her to be so generous! Good luck with your fundraising and whatever is getting you down, just think of all the positives like her generosity.

Breanna Bell said...

Just keep it up :) I have faith that you are going to meet your fundraising goal! God works in mysterious ways and maybe all this heartbreak is paving the way for greater joy! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Carly said...

Yes, keep it up! It'll all be worth it when you are on your mission trip! I have faith you will get there! Good luck!