Heartbroken

So you might have noticed I deleted my last post and made my blog private a few days ago. Well it was because this inquiry was sent in to my current company's website:

Full_Name: Completely inappropriate employee behavior
email: withheld@gmail.com
Phone: withheld@gmail.com
Comments: Your employee is rather insulting to potential buyers and you. As
a potential buyer, I have to say that knowing that a realtors employees are
poorly paid and overworked really turns me off, not to mention the numerous
posts she makes bashing her bopss. I would be afraid that I, as a client
would be portrayed in a negative light on this young ladys online journal
and have thus chosen not to pursue a relationship with the xxxxxxx xxxxxx
team. This is the website:
http://ncsuz.blogspot.com/2010/04/im-tired-of-not-being-able-to-share.html

I got this on my iphone just before 8 pm on Thursday and freaked out! Who would do this to me? Why? I was flipping out. I re-read the post he linked to and thought it wasn't that bad except for her "blowing me off" but seriously she is juggling over 100 different clients at the time. I honestly thought the post was complimentary. I really am very sad about leaving this job. I wish I could have made it work but I don't have a roommate or husband to split bills with so it made it impossible. I mean it wasn't like she was paying us minimum wage. She paid the standard rate for an office support person and she would even surprise us with gift cards when things were going well. It just turned out that the amount she could pay me, I couldn't pay all my bills with.

The second thing I thought was how did this person know who I worked for. I have never mentioned my company or my boss' name on here ever. Did this person know me? Did this person do some heavy duty detective work to find out??

I love my boss and have never bashed her on here. She is the best agent in the Triangle and when I sell my house if I don't have my license active by then, she will be my Realtor. I knew this email would hurt her feelings too.

I won't go in to all the details for the story, but I let her know that I thought it was someone I knew since I had never mentioned her by name on my blog, or mention our company name. She was hurt over it. I was hurt and angry!

I had some anger to build on from the previous day. The previous day I had found out that witty guy was seeing a new girl he met in VA over Easter. It wouldn't have hurt so bad if we had not hooked up when he came over for dinner LAST WEEK. And then it turns out the new girl stayed with him that weekend. I didn't find out about the girl until Wednesday night. He felt like he didn't need to tell me that because we were trying to be "just friends" -by the way that is impossible. So of course this leads to a blow up.

The very next night this is sent and everyone I talked to was like it is just too coincidental in the timing. It has to be witty guy. Part of me was like yes it has to be, but another part was like I just can't see him doing it. We went though lists and tried to track things through google analytics and I just don't know. I think I am never going to know who sent this.

(I did confront witty guy about it which was one of the worst points during this whole drama. Either he is a really good actor or he didn't do it. But despite me losing it at his house- I mean screaming shaking crying...it was quite a show- he manages to throw in there that he loves me...WTF...he has never said this before NOW?! I was to my breaking point and left.)

I almost deleted every mention of myself on the internet. But it would be like this cyber-bully won if I did that. Whoever it is must have a major problem with me and I just want to know why you would ever do something this mean to someone.

So yeah, I have had my heart broken twice within 24 hours this week. One long drawn out one by witty guy and once by this malicious person. I have so much SNAGER (sadness+anger) that I have been shaking uncontrolably, havent been able to eat or sleep much, feel sick to my stomach, and spent the whole day in bed. It has stolen any happiness I could have had over my new job right out from under me. This SANGER emotion (I've felt it before) has to be the absolute worst emotion you could ever feel.

But yeah thats the story...any suggestions??

I still don't know what I am going to do with this. I love it, but putting myself this out there and having people hurt me might not be worth it. I'm still contemplating.