Sunday, April 25, 2010

Heartbroken

So you might have noticed I deleted my last post and made my blog private a few days ago. Well it was because this inquiry was sent in to my current company's website:

Full_Name: Completely inappropriate employee behavior
email: withheld@gmail.com
Phone: withheld@gmail.com
Comments: Your employee is rather insulting to potential buyers and you. As
a potential buyer, I have to say that knowing that a realtors employees are
poorly paid and overworked really turns me off, not to mention the numerous
posts she makes bashing her bopss. I would be afraid that I, as a client
would be portrayed in a negative light on this young ladys online journal
and have thus chosen not to pursue a relationship with the xxxxxxx xxxxxx
team. This is the website:
http://ncsuz.blogspot.com/2010/04/im-tired-of-not-being-able-to-share.html

I got this on my iphone just before 8 pm on Thursday and freaked out! Who would do this to me? Why? I was flipping out. I re-read the post he linked to and thought it wasn't that bad except for her "blowing me off" but seriously she is juggling over 100 different clients at the time. I honestly thought the post was complimentary. I really am very sad about leaving this job. I wish I could have made it work but I don't have a roommate or husband to split bills with so it made it impossible. I mean it wasn't like she was paying us minimum wage. She paid the standard rate for an office support person and she would even surprise us with gift cards when things were going well. It just turned out that the amount she could pay me, I couldn't pay all my bills with.

The second thing I thought was how did this person know who I worked for. I have never mentioned my company or my boss' name on here ever. Did this person know me? Did this person do some heavy duty detective work to find out??

I love my boss and have never bashed her on here. She is the best agent in the Triangle and when I sell my house if I don't have my license active by then, she will be my Realtor. I knew this email would hurt her feelings too.

I won't go in to all the details for the story, but I let her know that I thought it was someone I knew since I had never mentioned her by name on my blog, or mention our company name. She was hurt over it. I was hurt and angry!

I had some anger to build on from the previous day. The previous day I had found out that witty guy was seeing a new girl he met in VA over Easter. It wouldn't have hurt so bad if we had not hooked up when he came over for dinner LAST WEEK. And then it turns out the new girl stayed with him that weekend. I didn't find out about the girl until Wednesday night. He felt like he didn't need to tell me that because we were trying to be "just friends" -by the way that is impossible. So of course this leads to a blow up.

The very next night this is sent and everyone I talked to was like it is just too coincidental in the timing. It has to be witty guy. Part of me was like yes it has to be, but another part was like I just can't see him doing it. We went though lists and tried to track things through google analytics and I just don't know. I think I am never going to know who sent this.

(I did confront witty guy about it which was one of the worst points during this whole drama. Either he is a really good actor or he didn't do it. But despite me losing it at his house- I mean screaming shaking crying...it was quite a show- he manages to throw in there that he loves me...WTF...he has never said this before NOW?! I was to my breaking point and left.)

I almost deleted every mention of myself on the internet. But it would be like this cyber-bully won if I did that. Whoever it is must have a major problem with me and I just want to know why you would ever do something this mean to someone.

So yeah, I have had my heart broken twice within 24 hours this week. One long drawn out one by witty guy and once by this malicious person. I have so much SNAGER (sadness+anger) that I have been shaking uncontrolably, havent been able to eat or sleep much, feel sick to my stomach, and spent the whole day in bed. It has stolen any happiness I could have had over my new job right out from under me. This SANGER emotion (I've felt it before) has to be the absolute worst emotion you could ever feel.

But yeah thats the story...any suggestions??

I still don't know what I am going to do with this. I love it, but putting myself this out there and having people hurt me might not be worth it. I'm still contemplating.

16 comments:

Ally said...

somehow i'm confused. who told on you? how did they find it? was it some sort of thing where you did this at work and work tracks what you're doing online? i think i need to re-read or something. sounds so awful :( i feel so bad for you because i know how i'd react and i'd honestly just die!
i'm sorry you have had such a horrible week.

FourthGradeNothing.com

minneapoliscareergirl said...

I am so sorry, honey. This just makes me frustrated and angry on your behalf. Please don't let one online bully take you off your site. You are such a bright and talented person. Keep writing!

Shoshanah said...

What an awful situation. It's kind of sucks that that's the kind of thing that can happen by putting stuff out there on-line. I guess if you're really worried you could always make your blog private, so it can only be read by invite only

Sam said...

Wow. I can't believe someone would do that. And to go through the trouble of searching somehow for what company you work for?? If they don't know you personally, then they're crossing the lines of being a stalker. And if they do know you personally, they have to be pretty troubled and insecure in themselves to not tell you face-to-face if they really do have concerns about content you put online for your job. I'm shocked! And I'm so sorry.

Carly said...

OMG! Seriously? I can't believe someone would go to such lengths to hurt you. I don't feel you are bashing people on your blog at all. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel... I am so sorry. I know there are people in the world who are absolute jerks but to hurt you in such a cowardly way is an all time low. I do believe in karma and I feel you have so much good and kindness surrounding you, I can only hope this person gets the karma that is coming to them. You hang in there... Don't let this person get you down. You are better & stronger. Keep the faith!

Erin Kathleen said...

I seriously can't believe someone would do that. I'm in HR and know what people should and should not do when it comes to social media and I don't think you did anything wrong or said anything that was inapropriate.

Just remember there's karma!

Take a deep breath, stay strong and don't surcome to this jerk!

Vianca Hidena said...

I am sorry for this horrible situation that you are going through. I know hoe bad it could be when everything goes wrong in ones. I cant believe someone can take their time to ruin other people's life. But its true "Karma" will take care of it! Trust me, I saw it happens many many times.
I wish I can do something for you. =(

Vianca Hidena said...

I am sorry for this horrible situation that you are going through. I know hoe bad it could be when everything goes wrong in ones. I cant believe someone can take their time to ruin other people's life. But its true "Karma" will take care of it! Trust me, I saw it happens many many times.
I wish I can do something for you. =(

Aritza, Goddess of .. said...

Oh wow Suz, I'm so sorry.. this really sucks ! I would hate for someone to find out about my blog and try to use it against me. The whole point of the blog is to let some stuff out without having to worry about it.

I have had anonymous commentators leave some very unpleasant notes on my blog recently and it really sucks, I know. However, it's YOUR blog so you just have to keep on doing what you were doing and re-claim your territory.

As for witty guy, well it really sucks that he's seeing another girl, I'm so sorry about that. And especially that you had to find out after the fact.

Holly said...

Hi Suz,

I have been reading your blog for more than six months now but have yet to comment. However, I think this is a great opportunity for me to tell you that I really enjoy reading your blog and think you seem like a wonderful person! Don't stop writing because of this. You've done nothing wrong, and it is a shame that someone would try to hurt you like this. Keep your head up and keep writing. You are a smart and kind person and I look forward to reading your posts!

xo
Holly

Jen said...

Susan,
I wish I could come over and give you a hug! Please call me if you want to go out for a drink or just to talk or whatever. I can't believe that anyone would do this to you. Your blog has never been anything but positive and professional. I think it must be someone who has a grudge and is jealous of you. Probably the same anonymous poster from before. It is just horrible that they would have to go to such lengths. There is something seriously wrong with that person. I hope you have been able to discuss this with your current boss, and that she knows you did nothing wrong.

AuntBT said...

I'm so sorry!! Sometimes people go out of their way to be mean, just because they are dealing with something else that has nothing to do with you.

Ellie said...

Susan,
You ROCK, and whoever did this to you SUCKS!!
I am so sorry about your heart breaking, you are way too nice of a person to have to deal with this kind of crap!
If you ever figure out who it was, let me know... I can still work up a pretty MEAN Rugby tackle!!! :)
Love you!
Ellie

woodlandsblonde said...

That's ridiculous! How would they have known your name, where you work, etc....

CREEPY! I definitely think it's someone you know. Jealousy is a bad little bug and people will always be trying to take pieces of your happiness - the proof is on here - you didn't DO ANYTHING WRONG!

Faux Trixie said...

Poor girl! This happened to me, which is why I'm on super lockdown and never post about work or my name. Keep your chin up, lady!

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Oh no!! I'm so sorry this has happened to you... I hope things have calmed down for you in the past couple days. If there's anything I can do please let me know!
Hang in there!