Defining Character- Accepting Criticism

I got a comment on one of my last blog posts criticizing me for my spending habits and how I slammed those who send picture Christmas cards. It really bothered me. I was angry and shocked and didn’t know how to respond. It’s hard hearing criticism. The first reaction I often have is to defend myself. Even if I know what the other person is saying is true, I want to explain why I have fallen short of their expectations and give a long list of excuses to justify my behavior.

But that never gets me anywhere. I don’t want to use the word “sin” because that sounds so ugly and ultra-religious, but that is what it is. Every way I fall short in life can be traced back to sin (aka a deep seeded issue in myself that causes me to act destructively to myself and/or others). Call it what you want- sin, vice, problem, issue…it’s all the same. Confessing my sin is the first step to overcoming it.

What do I struggle with constantly?

Envy- This is the one that usually leads to overspending and self esteem issues. I see someone else with something shiny and new and I want to have it. I hear about a competition and I have to win it. I envy other people and I want other people to envy me. This is what leads to spending lots of time and money on my Christmas decorations. This is what makes me want to buy a new house. This is why I hate Victoria Secret models. This is part of the reason I hate picture Christmas cards- because I envy that person and their perfect little family. It’s an evil that creeps up on me everyday and I just have to shift my mind to think about things in a different way to shake that green eyed monster off my back.

Gluttony- I think about food a lot. I’m not just one of those people who can eat the same tasteless thing everyday. I have cravings and sometimes I like to indulge those cravings. When there is chocolate or cookies in the office, it is hard for me to say no. When I am craving a cheeseburger, even if I put it off for weeks, I will eventually cave and have to get one. I've wasted a whole lunch hour before because I just couldn't decide what to eat. I let food control me sometimes instead of me having control over the food. It’s a blessing and curse- this wonderful tasting food. And it’s one of the hardest things to overcome because you have to eat to live, so why not enjoy it? It’s all about finding a balance and it's a constant challenge for me.

Sloth- I am lazy. I hate to clean. I put off exercising. I get distracted easily. When I get home from work (especially in the winter) I just want to cuddle up on the couch and watch mindless TV sometimes. I have spent entire Saturdays in my PJs never leaving the house. I try to overcome this with lists (like my 30 Before 30) because that motivates me. But that doesn’t stop me from procrastinating either.

As to what the next steps are in overcoming these things, I really can’t say for certain. I know that I need God’s help and it isn’t something that will happen overnight.

The good thing is that we are all in this together. Everyone has something they struggle with. No one is perfect and if you think you are, then you are in denial. You may not have the same struggles I do, but everyone falls short in some way. Realizing that is what helps keep me humble and understanding of others. All I ask for is the same forgiveness and understanding from others.

But I have to remind myself understanding and forgiveness is not acceptance. I can’t just confess my sins and then keep on doing them and never change. Albert Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It would be like a murderer who confesses, asks for forgiveness, but then goes out and does it again. It’s an extreme example, but it’s basically the same thing. I can't just accept my shortcomings and expect others to as well.

So even though it’s not easy to hear, I am thankful for the criticism. It’s like medicine on a cut- it stings, but in the end, it helps.