Sunday, May 5, 2013

Traveling Solo

Back in March, my boss offered me the opportunity to go to a conference in Austin, TX.  The only downside is they only got approval for one person to go so I would have to go by myself.  I didn't have to say yes, but I had been dying to go to Austin.  The conference was on a Thursday and a Friday so I could easily make a long weekend out of it.  But I am the girl who won't even eat somewhere by herself.  Definitely did not want to go to a city I have never been to by myself.

So I asked some girls in my bible study if they wanted to go.  We all had just talked about doing a trip to Austin because the study we were doing was written by pastors at The Austin Stone, a church we all like and listen to on podcast.  Three of the girls said they were definitely interested so I agreed to go and booked my flights and hotel.  I sent them the hotel and flight info and we all talked about flight options and stuff over email for the next few days.

Well fast forward to three weeks before the girl backs out because she is doing another trip with her friends in May and just can't afford it.  Two weeks before we go I ask one of the other girls about it and she says she decided she isn't going to go.  She has to work and wouldn't be able to fly out until Saturday morning and it just wouldn't be worth it.  The last girl seems like she is still in at this point, but then today, 3 days before I leave, she tells me she isn't going.

So now here I am.  Taking my first trip completely solo.  5 days days in a big city all by myself.  And I am terrified.  I have flown by myself and navigated to a hotel by myself, but I have never spent time alone in a city I've never been to, where I know no one, completely by myself.

I've cried.  I've prayed.  I asked another friend to go, but unfortunately by this point flights are triple what I paid for mine back in March.  So it looks like I am going to have to be brave and be independent and get through this on my own.

I mean this is like a metaphor for my whole freaking life.  I am tempted on just giving up on people in general and going at this whole life thing completely on my own.  That way no one can hurt me.  No one can let me down.

Friday night I was watching The Client List (don't judge) and a little girl on the show said "My mom said "If you tell someone you are going to do something, you do it."  People need to do this more.  I even took this advice this weekend.  I had told my mom I would go see her the Sunday before Mother's Day (today) since I would be in Austin on Mother's day.  But I had been sick all week, had a million errands to run, and was dealing with the emotional trauma of all this mess.  The last thing I wanted to do was go to High Point.  But I did.  Because I had told her I would.

But apparently most people don't play by this rule.  And I seem to always get the brunt of this.  So the only solution I see is to stop counting on people for anything.  Hopefully this trip will give me more confidence to live a life completely free from dependency on others.  I'm already pretty independent, but I'm not trusting anyone for anything anymore.  Ever.

You know what the really sad thing is.  I think I could do it if I had Cam with me.  (the more people I get to know, the more I love my dog)  He really has helped me get through so much and I don't feel alone when I have him with me.  But I can't take him on a plane unfortunately.  So it will just be me.

So dear readers, have you ever traveled alone?  What advice do you have or me?

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