Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Pity Party- Party of ONE

Today really sucked.  The past few weeks...months....years have actually sucked.  I can't blog because I can't even form thoughts in my head that are positive anymore.  It took all I had to do that 30 Days of Thanks.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for...it is just hard to see feel right now.  All I feel is....frustration, blahness, loneliness.

Tonight we got to Facetime with one of the girls from our Bible study who is in a position where she is traveling all over the US right now.  We hadn't talked to her in a few months and everyone had these amazing updates or major things that had changed in their lives and I had nothing.  Nothing but car trouble and never ending silly work drama.  My life is so stupid and pointless right now I feel.  Nothing major has changed.  Everyday feels the same.  I am so lonely.  I am so overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time.

I am kind of skipping Christmas this year.  I didn't put up my tree.  I did put up a few decorations, but it feels so....empty.  I'm buying no gifts.  I think I am going to give my mom $50 for a massage and give her money for one of the fancy pillows she is buying my uncle.

I have a lot to do.  In fact I am probably going to be up making power point slides all night for a meeting in the morning.  I am hoping my car will make it to work and back to the shop tomorrow since it decided to act a fool tonight and say I had no oil pressure even though I just got an oil change last week.  Oh and I need 4 new tires.  FOUR!  I hate car stuff.

I went to a couple's baby shower this weekend and I was the only single person there.  It is so depressing to look around the room and see all these couples and you have no one.  I will never attend another couples shower again.

I feel so alone in life.  Life is not supposed to be like this and I know it will never be perfect, but I could use something.  Some kind of change.

Life is hard y'all.


4 comments:

Andrea said...

Hang in there! When I logged into Facebook yesterday there were seven pregnant friends in my news feed. Then I logged off and threw a pity party for myself and a bottle of moscato.

Sometimes it's hard to comprehend why it seems like God is challenging us while blessing others, but a friend reminded me last night that everything is good in His time. I hope that things start turning around for you!

Tiffany said...

I'm so sorry that things are rough right now. I went through a similar patch a couple of months ago and it sucks! Hang on there!!

~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

Millie said...

My heart is breaking for you. I know how hard it can be to have faith when it feels like nothing is going your way. I hope you can find strength in knowing that this too shall pass. In the meantime, try to focus on the positive things in your life. I know it can be hard to find those in times like this, but they exist. Sending hugs!

Jeannee said...

My dear friend - my circumstances are different, but I'm feeling much like yourself ... and I'm totally not into Christmas this year, at all. At least you still have your mom! (((( )))) I just wanted to send you a hug!