Thursday, July 5, 2012

I need a vacation

I need a vacation.  And a massage.  I have so much anxiety.  I have so much stuff going on in my head.  We are getting ready to launch this contest on Pinterest at work that I pushed for and am heading up.  I had to beg for funding. And now that it is happening I am afraid it is going to be a complete flop.  And I have a hard time letting go control of stuff.  Like I wish I could do it all but I can't and I have to trust others to do a good job for the project.  I guess this is what all that group work in college was supposed to prepare me for?

And I am having self esteem issues right now.  I am being really sensitive to what people say to me.  They can say one little sentence and I replay it over and over in my head. For weeks.  I take little things people do and blow them up to be "OMG they hate me.  No one likes me." in my head.

I am also having problems sleeping.  I've been up until 3-4 am every night this week.  I've taken 2 ambien on some nights and still not fallen asleep.

All of this has turned me in to a B-I-T-C-H.  I hated the world today.  I was just a pissed off person and not very nice to others.  I swing between that and crying.  It's so wonderful being a girl isn't it?


Shoshanah said...

I can definitely relate to over analyzing things people say and thinking everybody hates me. There are even times where I'm driving and notice the people in the car next to me laughing and assume they are laughing at me. Completely irrational, maybe? But still, I'm paranoid that everyone out there hates me.

Kristine said...

I've been there and you definitely sound over stressed. If you can't take a vacation, try to create a vaca at home. Do yoga, go for a walk, paint or read...something to relax your mind. It won't take it all away, but if you can get peace for a few minutes or an hour, you will feel a little better.

kaylee said...

I know how you feel over thinking & anxiety is my specialty. I will replay the silliest moment over and over in my head... sending positive thoughts your way I hope everything works out! Remember to take time out to enjoy life & breathe! xo