This weekend I was talking to a friend about how much I am stressed out about getting everything on this list marked off. A lot of the things on the list depend on one of 2 things: money or being skinny.
Both of these areas of my life have suffered a lot over the last year. I had to take a job at a significant pay cut and I have overdrawn my account every month I have worked here. I can't ask for a raise because the winter is the worst time in real estate. Everything dies down and we are not selling as many houses, so it is the worst possible time to ask for a raise. I really like my job and I don't want to leave, but I HAVE to make more money to cover my bills!
I even applied for a part-time seasonal job and Target and got an email saying they did not have a position for me at this time. Seriously? I can't even get a job at Target. Even if I wanted to find another job, I probably wouldn't be able to and I REALLY don't want to go back to the corporate world, but that seems to be where the money is.
How am I going to be able to pay all my own bills when I can't even make it to the end of the month even with Mom's help? How am I going to upgrade a room in my house when I can't even afford DVR? How am I going to invest in the stock market when I can barely afford health insurance?
On top of all that I found out most of the mission trips my church has planned for next year cost $2500! How am I going to afford that?
The other things on my list require me to get skinny. #1 on my list- get in the best shape of my life...yeah...that really meant get as skinny as I was in high school. I am SO far from that now. I am the biggest I have ever been in my life and I hate it. When I rode the rides at the fair I was seriously scared I wouldn't fit. How am I ever going to not feel self conscious at a water park? I am afraid I would flip over in a kayak and learning how to surf requires a bathing suit too.
So yeah, I had a mini freak out. My friend told me to revise my list. I CAN'T revise my list! Why even have a list then? My friend tried to reason with me that my life has changed a lot in the last year, and you can't put a timeline on your goals and used the example of putting a timeline on getting married and having kids.
What do you think? Revise the list or stick to it and pray for a miracle?
Monday, November 9, 2009
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12 comments:
I don't think a revision is a bad thing, but maybe it's in the sense that you should rethink the intentions behind each component.
For instance, getting in the best shape of your life doesn't mean being the thinnest you've been. Skinny is not "in shape" - very different things. You could still achieve the best shape of your life through healthful eating, working out and trying new things aerobically without losing weight or becoming "skinny."
I think your friend is right, though. The circumstances in your life have changed. You will never go through a year in your life where you want the same thing you did at the beginning of the year at the end.
Adapt it for your goals today. I'd hate to see you pursuing goals you don't really want anymore, my dear!
I don't necessarily think you should revise your list, but I think you might want to revise the timeline. I don't think it's so important that you accomplish all these things before you're 30. I think it's more important that you simply accomplish them if you really want to. So what if you don't learn to surf until you're 32? It's more important to keep a list of things you want to accomplish as a reminder not to be complacent and just float through life. Your list should bring you hope and determination, not despair and helplessness.
First of all, as a fellow 30 before 30er, I say no to revising the list. The only thing on my list that might change is running a half marathon and that is due to a leg injury.
Second, I still believe that you can achieve a lot of your goals. If you want more money, there are far more places than Target that hire holiday help. Just look around, I am sure you will find something.
As for redecorating, have you ever seen Design on a Dime? Re-purpose other things in your house. Check out garage sales or flea markets. You can find wonderful things out there. I found an awesome table at RH Lee in South Carolina when I was there that I won at auction.
As for missions, I just had my first mission meeting for going to Mali, West Africa on Sunday and one of the first things they talked about was fund raising. I truly believe that God will provide me the funds to go on my trip. Jesus even told his disciples to not take anything with them and let people in the places they go, provide for them. God does awesome things, especially when you are doing work for Him. They even told us in the meeting, not to use your own money if you have it, but to rely on God to bring you people that will fund the trip. I would just dive in the mission trip and not worry about the money. Another option is to go on a local mission trip. I know our youth group does mini mission trips to bad parts of the city and volunteers for a day or two. You could volunteer with your church's youth group and do something like that.
I agree with the other commenter that being in the best shape of your life doesn't mean being skinny. Are you taking care of yourself? Mentally and physically? Are you eating right? There are a lot of small changes a person can make that will make a huge difference. And if you want to lose weight, there are tons of programs you can do at home that cost nothing.
I say you don't need a miracle, you just need some determination. I am pretty sure your birthday is after mine and you have a whole heck of a lot more done than I do. Here's the proof http://sonjas30before30.blogspot.com. I just think you need some determination and positive thinking and you will achieve all you desire! :)
I agree with Minneapoliscareergirl, look at the intention behind each goal.
Instead of redoing an entire room, perhaps begin collecting a new piece of furniture every six months (or something similar) to change the style of the room. This way you redo it, but not a total overhaul.
I understand the issues with getting goals completed without have the income or availability. I had to move back home, and I'm still running tight on money. It's can't buy happiness, but it makes life much easier!
If you look at each reason behind the goals, you can alter them to better fit what you can actually complete. Perhaps getting high school skinny should be to be in the best shape of your life by running a marathon!
Just don't feel guilty for changing your goals! We change over time, and therefore priorities change as well.
There's nothing at all wrong with turning 30 and reflecting on why you couldn't complete certain items on your list. Then, after reflecting, make a new list! Set yourself new challenges within a new time frame, then. For now, focus on the items you CAN complete, and be proud of yourself!
Susan, I'm right there with you about to turn thirty. You have accomplished so many more things than I have and more than a lot of people have. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better. I agree with what everyone else has suggested. Also, I think you should be proud of yourself for even setting these goals and trying to achieve them. Most people wouldn't even bother, or would make excuses as to why they "can't". Your life has changed, and its all an adventure anyway.
I think it makes sense that as time moves on your goals would changes. And then there's the idea that more important than reaching the goal is the journey that you took trying to achieve it.
I agree with lots of the Comments above....being in the best shape of your life doesn't have to mean 'skinny' or your High School weight. Besides - were you in good shape in H.S. or just thinner?
Also, I think it's natural to amend our Goals as time goes on. Maybe instead of outright changing them, you could just 'tweak' them a bit....?
Hey, if you don't accomplish them before 30 just put it on your 40 things to do before 40 list! :)
Sometimes it seems really difficult, but remember that you made this list. You are not doing it for anyone besides you, so...you make your own rules. If you want to amend the criteria on some of the items, I say go for it, but I wouldn't take any off. They are there for a reason and I think you can totally do it! It's a tough time for everyone right now, but things will turn around.
Also, I agree with Sonja in that fundraising is really important when it comes to mission work and it could help you to meet new people and accomplish other goals.
I'm with the folks who say don't revise the list. We've got a little under a year left. But of course there will be things that will have to wait a little longer considering financial circumstances. So I say give yourself a grace period on some. Say a two year grace period for things that you just are unable to do right now given situations out of your control. But don't give up on your goals because those are things u set out to do, and if you don't set your mind to do them, you might never, and then you'll regret it. So I say, finish out this year of our tremendous twenties finishing all you can, then write yourself a "raincheck" for the others. You can do it suzi!!!
I say feel free to revise your list. After all, it is your own list and you should have things on it that you are excited to do! :)
P.S I will keep your job situation in my prayers.
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