Workforce Reduction

Well, the economy has finally punched me in the face. I was a part of a "workforce reduction" at my company today. I can't say too much about it and even though there had been rumors and I know the economy stinks, it was still a shock.

Getting laid off sucks, but I will say it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I had heard rumors for months and it had been difficult for me to feel happy or secure there. And if I didn't have the burden of car payments and mortgage payments I would probably be happy it was over.

But alas, a new weight has been put on my shoulders. So I spent some time today looking for new jobs. I applied for a few, but there isn't much out there.

I had an interview last week, so I am keeping my fingers crossed on that now! And I'll keep looking. Who knows. Maybe I'll go apply at Target or Starbucks or someplace I love as a consumer. It probably won't pay all the bills, but maybe it can get me by until the economy picks up.

Please keep me in your prayers and let me know of any job opportunities you may know of!

Fresh Air Fund

I got an email from someone at Fresh Air Fund asking me to promote this cause on my blog. I had never heard of it and I am not big on promoting just anything on my blog. But when I looked in to it, I remembered my summers riding bikes around my neighborhood in my swimsuit or exploring the woods or going up to the lake or to the pool with friends. Growing up in a small town has its perks, but some city kids don't get to enjoy the great outdoors in that way. One of the things Fresh Air Fund does is have host families open their homes to city kids for a few weeks each summer to let them have a fresh air vacation. I don't have the space, time, or means to host a child but maybe you do. They are in need of host families this summer, so if you are interested, go here to learn more.

I Need a Drill Sergeant

I am so not motivated lately. I don’t know if it is because I am overwhelmed, drained, lazy, defeated, or some combination of all of the above. I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to clean my house. I don’t want to exercise. I can’t stop eating and shopping. I’m no psychologist, but I would say I have a problem.

Something just feels off in my life and I just can’t seem to muster up the energy to get it back on track. I don’t even know where to start.

The funny thing is that I don’t feel sad or anxious or upset about anything. I’m not depressed. In fact I’m pretty content or even happy most of the time.

There are things I want to change, like the amount of dog hair in my house and the size of the fat cells on my body but I just can’t get motivated to actually do anything.

I am so tired. My routine feels so off. I have no energy to push myself. And this is so not me.

That is why I feel like I need a drill sergeant to get back on track. I need someone to blow a whistle in my face every morning, tell me my tasks for that day, and stay on me until I get them done.

I’m at a loss. I need help. Any advice?

In Honor of Match.com Mondays…

I thought I would give you an update on my dating life. I stopped checking my match.com. I have no more new dates or random phone conversations. I am spending most of my time with witty guy. I guess you could say we are dating exclusively now!

We pretty much spent all weekend together. I don’t want to go in to too much detail on here, but here are some random snippets from our relationship:

- My dog like loves him. He gets so excited every time he sees him and even starts whining because he just can’t control his excitement. Cam doesn’t even do that for me, so it makes me a little jealous.

- Witty Guy calls me Miss Crabby Cakes sometimes when I am in a bad mood, but that’s ok because he can be Mr. Cabby Cakes sometimes too.

- I like holding his hand or laying my head on his shoulder.

- He stays at my house pretty late on most nights that he comes over. We tried to implement an 11 pm curfew, but rarely does he leave my house by then because I guess we just don’t want to say bye to each other.

- We’ve done lots of fun stuff together like play tennis, take Cam hiking at Umstead park and to play at the dog park, went to the art museum, lots of shopping together for some reason, and he treated me to The Peddler and Firebirds this weekend.

- He’ll probably be mad at me for saying this, but he even watches America’s Next Top Model with me…it’s like our show now and his favorites always seem to be the ones eliminated every time. He says I am very much a girl’s girl when it comes to my TV shows, but he will give in to watching that one show with me.

What can I say? It feels comfortable with him and I like hanging out with him. It’s still pretty early and we are still getting to know each other better, but when I think of him, it makes me smile. I don’t get tired of hanging out with him and even miss him when he’s not around. I don’t want to talk about our relationship on here too much, but I wanted to give you all an update.

Oh, and I’m trying to convince him to write a guest post for my blog. Of course I have editorial review because it is my blog, but I think it would be fun to see something from his perspective on here!

L.I.F.E.- List Idea Friday Everyone

This one isn’t from the book, but just something I think would be a good thing to put on your life list:

“Own and/or Drive a Convertible”

Today is the last day I can call myself a convertible owner. For the past four years I have been leasing a VW New Beetle Convertible. I wanted a “fun” car to enjoy while I was still young and had no kids to haul around. I decided to lease the car because I knew I did not want it forever.

I wasn’t completely satisfied with the experience because VW’s seem to have a never-ending problem with the check engine light and because the lease caused me to almost obsessively watch my mileage (I'm glad I had the 4Runner to alternate with or else I would have been WAY over the miles). It also didn’t help today when I had to have the car “inspected” for any extra wear and tear and they gave me a summary of the report estimating $892.26 worth of repairs that needed to be done (for a cracked front fender and some minor scratches on both of the rims on the passenger side where I brushed up against a curb.) The guy said it wasn’t an invoice and he didn’t know how much of that VW would be charging me, if any, but I will have to go home and carefully review my contract and give them a call to discuss that because almost $900 is crazy!

I will seriously miss that car. It was so relaxing to put the top down on nice days and drive the back roads home from wherever I was coming from. It is a totally different driving experience. Cam loved it too. At first I was scared he would jump out, but he never even tried. Riding with that top down was like the ultimate “stick your head out the window” experience for him.

The car was so zippy because of the turbo and was very fun to drive. I would describe it as “cute” when the top was up, but “hot” when the top was down. It had an automatic top, so if I decided to put down the top at a stop light, I could very easily.

I’m glad I got to own and drive a convertible for four years. I would highly recommend adding it to your list! I'll miss you beetle bug!

Baby Bug

I have never really been a big fan of kids. Probably because I have not been around them much and thus they kind of scare me. They are unpredictable. They cry and scream. They are messy. They don't listen. They can't communicate well. They require a lot of attention. They're fragile and get hurt easily. It's all very terrifying.

I always wanted a big family. I wanted a household full of activity. I wanted to have huge Holiday gatherings. But somehow I kind of wanted to skip the kid part I think. I used to want to have at least 4 kids, but now I am thinking 2 because I don't know that I could handle much more than that.

But lately I think the baby bug has been nipping at me. I find myself gazing at cute tiny clothes in the store. I find myself oohhing and ahhing over random babies. I think the things my friend's kids do are so freaking cute. I suddenly want to ask pregnant ladies when they are due.

When we were in DC I got to feel my friend Heather's baby move. It was crazy. It wasn't like a kick, but more like she was turning inside her tummy and pushing outwards on her stomach. I felt so weird but was so amazing.

I am not ready for that at all. It terrifies me the thought of being pregnant, giving birth, being completely responsible for a little creature, and having my whole life change. And luckily it is not in my immediate future, but somewhere so far off I don't really have to worry about it. But I find myself fighting the possibility of that happening sometime in the future less and less.

It also helps knowing that people who have taken that leap have had the same doubts, fears, and mixed feelings. Heather wrote the most amazing post this weekend sharing her thoughts on what is about to happen to her life. I loved it because that would probably be a lot of the same things that would be going through my head were I in her shoes (along with how the heck is this thing going to get out of my belly without me having to go through hell?). It was a very open, honest, and endearing post so go check it out here.

L.I.F.E.- List Idea Friday Everyone!

Every Friday I will feature a new idea from the book Dream it. List it. Do it! that you can add to your life’s to do list.

Today I picked one from the chapter called “Love My Job”-

Come home from work exhausted but fulfilled

Don’t you just love those days? The days where you work on a project you feel really passionate about and you get a lot accomplished. Maybe you have to stay late and maybe no one notices the work you are doing, but you feel good about it. It’s like a high. And you want to complain about how much you’ve been working and how tired you are but secretly you love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I have captured this feeling a few times at every job I have had and it has always been for different reasons.

At my first marketing job, I loved the numbers. I was a Marketing Analyst and I loved working with the numbers to make sure everything added up just right and creating the reports and organizing the data in a way that made sense. I love breaking down the previous year’s data and trying to find the pattern to set the budget for the next year. I would stay until 8 or 9:00 at night sometimes just to get to a good stopping point. I loved creating the marketing dashboard report every Monday and would race myself to see if I could beat my time from the previous week to complete it. I felt important because I knew everyone, including the CEO, was waiting to see MY report. I got frustrated when they wanted to see things a different way sometimes after all the work I had put in, but that work really did give me a high.

At my second job, I loved streamlining and perfecting the processes and procedures in our department. I was a Marketing Programs Supervisor for a regional chain of drug stores. I loved making our department’s processes more structured and getting a perfect printed piece with no errors in the end. I also loved having creative input. I loved trying to think of new ideas to promote the products and our stores. I loved doing copy writing. I loved being the team lead for our Visual Merchandising Team and seeing our projects come to life in the stores. I would spend my time on the treadmill thinking about creative ideas for our projects. It was so satisfying to come up with a great idea and see it through to completion and hanging in our stores.

At my current job I get really excited about trade shows. I feel like the one show I was in charge of last year went really well (except for some staffing issues) and I’m looking forward to trying to improve on it this year. (It was one of the few that didn’t get cut!) When I was at the show I worked my butt off and almost lost my mind, but I loved it. I also like working on projects as a team with the other Product Marketing Managers. We kind of came together as a group and started thinking of projects that could promote and help all of our product lines and then working as a team to get them done. Working as a team breathes a different kind of energy in the project and helps us think through things we might not have thought of as individuals. It is also helpful to have a team effort to cut through the miles and miles of red tape we have to go through. Whereas on your own, you might get stopped or even not have the energy or hope to even start the project on your own in the first place.

I still yearn for a position where I feel this high more often than not. Usually the high will only make a few appearances a year. And I know it might be unreasonable to expect that everyday, but even if I could get that feeling 50-60% of the time, it would make all the difference in the world!

One of the things on my list is to find a job I love. In this economy I am going have to figure out a way to mold my current position to capture that feeling more often, or pray for a miracle intervention. Either way, being happy with your job and feeling that satisfaction is one of the most important things in life.

What gives you that high at work?

P.S. Check out these clips from real-life job interviews on How to Nail an Interview. I seriously could watch these all day!