New Year, Same Goals?

Here are the resolutions I made a year ago:

1. Finish my 30 Before 30 list before my birthday in August. (2 years late but hey at least I will finish)  In order to complete it here's what is left:

• Get in the best shape of my life (working on it)
• kayak 
• catch a fish
• kiss in the rain
• read the Bible all the way through (almost finished with the OT)

2. Run a half marathon (hopefully in April)

3. Pay off my car early.  (I am supposed to be done with payments April 2013, but I would like to pay it off early if possible!)

So I did make some progress. 1.5 out of 3?  In my defense, I thought my car payments would be done in April 2013, but it is actually April of 2014.  Saving up 4 months worth or extra payments is a lot different from saving up 16 months of extra payments!  So that will stay on the list.

Here are my goals for 2013:

1. Finish my 30 Before 30 list.
Only 3 things left!  The hardest is #1- get in the best shape of my life, so I think I will concentrate on that.

2. Pay off my car early.

3. Make some upgrades to my house.
I want to re-paint the downstairs, switch out some light fixtures, re-do the counter tops in the kitchen, get a new kitchen sink and faucet, and possibly replace some appliances.

4. Be a better blogger.
This year I have sucked at blogging.  I haven't replied to comments.  I haven't even commented much on other blogs (although I have been reading!).  I haven't been consistent with my posts and most of them have lacked substance.  I want to get back to being a better blogger because it is something I really enjoy.

The past few years I have also committed to start, stop, and keep certain things in my life.

Here are mine from last year...

I would like to start eating healthy on a more consistent basis.  FAIL!

I would like to stop complaining so much.  FAIL!

I would like to keep running.  FAIL!

I did pretty good with those for the first half of the year, but the second half of the year they all fell by the wayside.  I would like to try to improve on those again in 2013 but also...

Start getting up earlier and going to bed earlier.

Stop eating so many sweets and processed foods.

Keep  volunteering with Summit Kids.

So it sounds like 2013 is going to be a year to concentrate on my health and finances.  I wouldn't LOVE to have some LOVE show up in 2013 for me, but I have all but given up on that.  I am not good at the whole love thing and am totally leaving that in God's hands where it belongs.  If 2013 is the year for it yippee, if not I will wait.

New Year's Goals

Here are my goals for 2012:

1. Finish my 30 Before 30 list before my birthday in August. (2 years late but hey at least I will finish)  In order to complete it here's what is left:

• Get in the best shape of my life (working on it)
• kayak
• catch a fish
• kiss in the rain
• read the Bible all the way through (almost finished with the OT)

(I've already completed upgrade one room in my house. I need to write a post about it)

2. Run a half marathon (hopefully in April)

3. Pay off my car early.  (I am supposed to be done with payments April 2013, but I would like to pay it off early if possible!)

I also liked the idea from last year of something to start, something to stop, and something to keep.

I would like to start eating healthy on a more consistent basis.  No more cheat days that turn into cheat weeks that turn into taking the whole month off.

I would like to stop complaining so much.  I am sick of complaining.  Complaining is so unattractive.

I would like to keep running.  I took almost 3 weeks off during December from my 10K training plan and I was so afraid I was going to have to start all over.  But my body stayed in shape better than I thought it would.  I started off doing 2 miles walking/running at the lake last week.  Then I picked it back up yesterday and ran 5 miles and walked 1 for a total of 6 miles!  It wasn't super easy, but I did it.  And according to my bodybugg I burned over 3,000 calories yesterday!  I must keep running in my life to get those kind of numbers!

What are your goals for 2012?

List progress

ohmygosh I am so glad Blogger is back up!  I was kind of worried I might lose my whole blog and have to start all over again.  That would have been tragic!  Don't scare me like that again Blogger or I may have to switch to that other blogging platform!  Now onto my slightly delayed post I wrote yesterday...

I haven’t marked anything off my list in a while. But I am slowly making progress with the remaining items:

#1- Get in the best shape of my life. Ok, so maybe I should have defined what “best shape of my life” means. My whole life I could barely run a mile. Even in high school when I played soccer I hated Mondays because that was the day we ran the mile. I have been steadily making progress with my running. I run 2-4 miles 3-5 times/week. I’ve ran three 5Ks in the last 6 months and even though I said I was done for the summer, I am running another one this weekend. But my body is nowhere near the “the best it has ever been”. I’m not the size 4 I was in high school. I can’t even fit in most of the clothes I wore just 4 summers ago. I’m working on that part of it. But does “best shape” mean what my body looks like or what it can do? Oh well, all I know is I’m not ready to mark this one off the list yet.

#9 kayak- It is the perfect kayaking weather right now. I’ve looked in to options around Raleigh and it looks like it will cost about $40-$50 if I do it around here. Last year I was going to sign up for a kayak excursion through the NC Aquarium while I was at the timeshare we have at Atlantic Beach. Well, it was sold out. They have that as an option again this year and it is only $20. I could do that, but I think the one in Raleigh would be better (way less hot if I do it now!). Hmmm…I can’t decide. What do you think?

#10 catch a fish- I keep telling my friend to let me know when her dad is taking her son fishing so I can tag along. Hopefully it will be soon.

#18 upgrade one room in my house- so I painted my Master Bath, hung some pictures, and installed a new faucet but I never touched up around where I got paint on the ceiling. I am working on re-doing my home office/gym/guest room. I also hung curtains in my living room. But the main thing I want is hardwood floors! I feel like I need to get the hardwood floors to mark this off my list. But I might not. Who knows. If the home office/gym/guest room turns out fabulous and I touch up the ceiling in the master bath maybe I will just consider it done and save that money for something like paying off my car early.

#26 Kiss in the rain- HA!! Yeah right! I think the only way this one will ever get marked off the list is if I die and heaven turns out to be one big long romantic comedy. There are no kissable boys even remotely on my radar. Let alone someone I could have my “movie love” moment with.

#27 Read the Bible all the way through- The Bible has 66 books. I have finished 12. I am getting closer to finishing Romans through a study my small group is doing and I am working my way through Luke with the sermon series my pastor is doing. I’ve done studies on Esther, Galatians, and Proverbs so those are covered. I gave up on the chronological plan I was using and instead just read in order they are written with the Bible app I have on my phone. I just finished 1 Samuel and it was actually a pretty good story- lots of action and adventure. I will say switching to The New Living Translation was a huge help! So thanks to you all that suggested that!

#29 Attempt Surfing- I am going to mark this one off at the beginning of August when I go to the beach. The NC Aquarium has a class for only $25!

So that’s it…just 7 things left. If you are just joining the blog I am already 30. I made my 30 Before 30 list a few weeks before my 28th birthday and apparently 2 years just wasn’t enough time to accomplish everything. So now my goal is to complete my list before I finish this year of being 30 on August 12, 2011. Fingers crossed!!

Pause & 30 Before 30 list checkpoint

First of all I want to ask all my readers to stop and say a prayer for Egypt.  I subscribe to the blog of a girl who lives in Egypt.  Early last week she posted something about the protest before it was in the news, before anything had grown in momentum.  She was going to protest with her brother.  She was scared, but knew it was important to take a stand.  To show support for something she believed in.  I can't even do that in everyday life, so I admire her courage.  She is a girl I relate to through her blog. She has a lot of the same thoughts, dreams,and aspirations I do.   These people in Egypt are humans just like you and me.  Yes, their culture and homeland is different, but we humans are more alike than you can imagine.

Then her internet access was cut off and she had a friend from outside the country post updates.  I wanted to know what was going on there and have been trying to follow the story but it is hard for me to even wrap my head around.  I just can't imagine what these people are going through.

And if you think just because we live far away from all the distress, don't fool yourself and think it doesn't affect us.  I just saw a reporter interviewing a group of Murbarak supporters and they told her to go away and that they hated Americans.  She tried to ask them why they hated Americans and they said "Because you are not a good person...we hate Americans."  Then they forced her and the crew to flee in their car while they beat on the car and threw rocks.  Why?  Why is there so much hate, anger, and violence?  I don't know enough about either side and I don't know why they hate Americans so much, but it scares me.  I know Americans aren't perfect but I would never look another human being in the face and tell them I hate them just because where they are from.  The violence between the protesters and police scares me.  The politics behind it all scares me.  All that is happening to the infrastructure and daily life in Egypt scares me.  Please pray for Egypt.

Now to something less heavy.  I wanted to pause and look back at the list that started this whole blog.  I have 8 things left on my list and I still plan to mark them off in the next couple months:

1. Get in the best shape of my life- I think I am almost there.  Not weight or body wise yet, but I am running more than I ever have and doing weights regularly.  I am going to run another 5K in April and want to come in under 31:00.  I want to do an 8K, 10K, and half marathon eventually. 

9. kayak- hopefully in the spring I will be able to convince some friends to help me mark this one off my list.

10. Catch a fish- maybe in the spring my favorite 4 year old can show me how to catch a fish!

18. Upgrade one room in my house- I attempted this one with my bathroom.  But I think I made it worse.  I SUCK at painting.  I will never do it again.  It I can fix the trim maybe I will consider this one done, but there are so many other things I want to do to my house.  Here is a sneak peek at the bathroom:

Old bathroom- not bad, but needs improvement

New bathroom

Turquoise stripe on one wall

Obviously I can't stay inside the lines- and yes I did use tape

21. Go skinny dipping- I have plans to mark this one off my list.  I've been skinny dipping before, but it is time to go again.  I'm just not going to tell anyone when or where until it is done.

26. Kiss in the rain-  I don't know about this one.  I am very cynical about love right now.

27. Read the Bible all the way through-  I have been trying.  This one is so hard because the Old Testament is sooo hard to read.  It has crazy stories that make your jaw drop and then very long passages about lineage or long detailed instructions for building the Temple or what to bring for their offerings.  But I do have at least 7 books marked off.  Tons more to go though.

29. Attempt Surfing- I hope to do this one just before my birthday on my annual beach trip.

Any advice for any of the things left on my list?

Long Busy Weekend!

Whew!  I have had a very busy last 72 hours!

FRIDAY-
Habitat was fun!  We got stuff done a lot more quickly than expected and I was home by 11 am.  I tried to go to the pool to lay out, but I have lost my pool key so I had to call to get them to send me a new one.  Instead I laid out on my back patio for about 2 hours (it was HOT!) and worked on my laptop.  Then I had to go shopping for birthday cards, shower stuff, and presents.  I spent about an hour at the bookstore which I just love doing!  Bookstores make me about as happy as Target!

SATURDAY-

The Vet:
Saturday morning I took Cam to the vet.  He lost some weight!  He got a smiley for that.  He got shots, a heartworm test, fecal exam, that bordatella up the nose thing, and basically the whole work up.  $172 later he got a clean bill of health and a see-ya-next-year.  Seriously...why does the vet have to cost so much?!

Baby's Birthday:
Then I went to my friend's baby's 1st birthday party.  It was packed!  There were a lot of people, a lot of kids, a lot of presents, and a lot of food.  Avery's mom has got it going on in the entertainment department.  They always know how to throw a party.  It was hot though!  This whole weekend in NC was miserably hot and humid!  But it was good because I got to see and catch up with some people I haven't seen in a really long time and Avery was so adorable as always!

Surprise Party:
After that it was mission time.  My BIFF's husband and I had been conspiring to throw her a surprise birthday party.  At one point I really didn't think it was going to happen because there was SO much going on this weekend and we didn't think we'd be able to fit in a surprise party for her.  I even told her one day at the gym that we had been thinking about throwing her a surprise party, but it looked like it wasn't going to work out.  She was really down about the whole thing because she had had some birthday letdowns in the past.  But somehow her husband pulled it all together and all I had to do was get her out of the house so he could set up and get everyone there.

I'm a bad liar but I convinced her that as my birthday gift to her we were going to get mani/pedis and her husband convinced her that his parents were going to take them out to dinner afterwards.  It worked!  She had no idea and was so surprised when she walked in and everyone was there and yelled surprise!  She really had no clue!  It was great!

We all had a great time drinking and eating and playing cornhole (I am actually getting better at that game!).  And this was the first time a lot of us had hung out together in a while!  I just love my friends!

The Crush:
At this party was a guy that I have known for years.  He is kind of a part of our group of friends.  He hangs out with us occasionally and has been on a few trips I have been on over the years. I guess I have had a crush on him for probably the whole time I've known him- about 5 years.  I don't know how to describe it.  He has that way of being completely adorable and really hot at the same time.  And I think he is a really nice guy despite his sometimes bad rep. Sometimes he seemed to not have it all "together" in life and maybe parties too much, but still he has always been sweet and nice to me.  He is a few years younger than me though so sometimes I look at him like a little brother or something too, which confuses the crush side...I don't know it's not a normal crush...I just have a soft spot for him for some reason.

I am pretty sure he was well aware of this crush thing because a few weeks ago I had called and left him a voicemail after one of my worst nights ever of drinking (break-ups will make you do stupid stuff like drink tons of liquor on an empty stomach!).  I don't remember what I said, but apparently I told him what I wanted to do to him in no uncertain terms.  I was so embarrassed, but luckily he called the next day and made a joke out of it and kind of made the whole thing better.  I was so thankful we were able to smooth that over so it wouldn't be too awkward the next time I saw him.

Anyway, somehow we ended up going to his house at some point during the party last night (which was right up the street) and talked for a while (but it didn't look good that we disappeared together).  I SWEAR nothing happened.  Nothing.  I didn't even feel like that about him for some reason last night.  We just talked about our past heartbreaks and life I guess.  I probably shared way more about my life than I should have, but alcohol will do that to you!

At one point I told him I had a high price (I was pretty drunk and that probably made me sound like a hooker).  He laughed about it and said "i want to know what your price is".  I just said "oh, it's really high"... but what I meant was that I don't just give myself away to just anybody.  Here I was with a guy I had had a crush on forever, but I was not really even tempted to have a meaningless make-out session with him or anything.  I just don't do that anymore.  I've had my crazy twenties and kissed lots of frogs thinking it might mean more, but now I know better and even if you want to try to be in a relationship with me I can promise you it won't be some easy casual thing.  I'm looking for more than that and that is what I meant by "I have a high price".  I just couldn't articulate that at the time nor did I really want to.

We went back to the party after letting the dog out (and forgetting to let him back in!) and as soon as we got there it started pouring rain.  We ran and stood on the front porch together forever watching the rain.  I don't even really know why we didn't go in the house.  Eventually we went in and hung out for a little more with everyone and finally I ended up driving home at 5 am after sobering up.

SUNDAY-
When I woke up this morning though I was like "Dang!  I could've marked two things off my list last night if I would have been thinking about it more- ask out a crush and kiss in the rain!"  But things happen for a reason sometimes and I am glad nothing happened last night.  I don't even really know if I have a crush on him anymore...I think it is just some kind of soft spot I have for him because really I don't ever see anything happening between us.  I am not a casual kind of girl and he is nice enough to realize that and not take advantage. Plus I am still healing from my last heartbreak right now.  I'm glad I didn't try to ruin my movie love moment of kissing in the rain just because the opportunity presented itself.

At church this morning we had a guest preacher and he was very different than our normal preacher.  He kind of growled/yelled/sung his sermon?  I don't know how to describe it.  It was not really my thing.  But I thought again about saying "I have a high price" last night but in a totally different way during church this morning.  I DO have a high price.  The price for me was more than I could pay and required the sacrifice of God's son.  I think just knowing that internally was another thing that stopped me from being tempted by the crush last night.  Knowing the price that was paid for me makes me live my life very differently.  I got concerned because I was like "Has the wild, carefree, fun Suz disappeared?!"  But I haven't, I've just changed and won't compromise myself.  I know who I am and what I want so temptations are much easier to tackle.

This afternoon we had a baby shower for my friend who is due in July.  The girl who threw it is so creative and cute!  All the decorations and food were wonderful!  I was in charge of games and the mom-to-be requested not having her belly measured.  I had already done the gift bingo, candy bar diapers, and pin the diaper on the baby things, so I wanted to come up with something different.  We did a baby/pregnancy trivia game (if you live in Raleigh and have ever heard G105's Horseshoes and Hand-grenades game, it was like that). And we did a game where we all had silly bandz and if you were caught saying the word "baby" you got your silly band stolen by whoever caught you.  The one with the most at the end of the party won.  It was fun.  I also got to feel the baby hiccup which was cool.  Pregnancy and the fact that a little human grows out of practically nothing inside your belly is just amazing to me!

So yeah it has been a long weekend and I have a training class to get Six Sigma certified for work all next week, so I think I will be calling it an early night tonight!

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!

Thoughts on finding “The One”…

My Dating History so far:

Kindergarten BFF- taught me boys can be fun! (Dump Trucks Rock!)

Rat-tailed 5th grader fling- taught me the stress of Valentine’s Day (I couldn’t take the pressure so I dumped him that day- He was way more into me and I didn’t like that rat tail)

Middle School Boys- where I developed the art of the crush

First High School BF- taught me how embarrassing my dad can be and how a first kiss can give you butterflies (then he moved away)

My First BadBoy- taught me guys are liars and cheaters even if they do act like they love you

First Upperclassman- taught me even cute guys can be big dorks

Band Guy- taught me guys can be really sweet and nice but also can rip a friendship apart (even though it totally isn’t worth it, I shouldn’t have been jealous)

First LOVE- taught me what love really feels like and how much life can hurt

Rebound Guy- taught me how you can kiss other boys and not feel guilty when you just aren’t that into someone (sorry rebound guy)

The LONG timer- taught me a guy can totally get you and be your bestest friend ever but at the same time totally SUCK at being a boyfriend (and that guys can make girls go crazy)

The Work Romance- taught me a guy can be an AMAZING boyfriend but if you don’t “get” each other or “click” it just won’t work

I think I have learned a lot from my past relationships. I just need to find someone who can be my best friend but at the same time not SUCK at being a boyfriend. Someone that gives me butterflies but can also make me laugh until it hurts. Someone that wants to have crazy adventures with me and my friends. Someone I can be silly with but who will also do romantic things to surprise me every once in a while. Kind of a mix between the last 2 guys I dated with a lot of the qualities of my First Love. Why is that so hard to find?


But you know what? I am starting to think there isn’t just one guy out there that would fit this bill. I think a lot of it is about timing and confidence of the 2 parties involved. I mean if he won’t approach me, shake me and say “I like you stupid” then it would probably just pass me by because I am so oblivious. Also, if I don’t get my confidence up it’s never going to happen. I need to quit obsessing, but it is hard when your house is so quiet and you feel so isolated everyday. Plus I have a lot of stuff on my list that requires me to find a guy:
#6- Ask out a crush
#11- Open my heart to someone
#26- Kiss in the rain

(Even #23- Take a dance lesson will probably require a boy!)

Oh the pressure! Or Maybe I am just having a down week…who knows!

This Year's Forcast: Man Drought

Well, this year it has certainly NOT been raining men in my neck of the woods. This is so disappointing because a lot of things on my list require a man in the picture to complete (i.e. #6 ask out a crush, #26 kiss in the rain, #11 open my heart to someone). And speaking of crushes, most anyone that knows me knows that I ALWAYS have a crush. Shockingly enough, right now (probably for the first time in my life) I have no crush. Not even a celebrity crush! I mean Matthew McConaughey is hot, but even he is married (I think) and has a kid now, so what’s the point?

Raleigh is often touted as one of the best places to live for singles. Why!?! Where are all these eligible men? My guesses are they are either A) all in MBA or doctorate programs at the universities around here (maybe it’s time to go back to school?) or B) they are doctors, or lawyers or in some other high powered/high stress position which leaves no time/energy for socializing or C) too young/old for me or D) too shy to approach a girl, and if they are waiting on me to approach them, well they will be waiting a LONG dang time!

I even tried online dating and it is definitely not for me. I am too paranoid about the creepers/stalkers/psycho killers that could potentially be on there, not to mention the losers/ slackers/ crazies/egomaniacs that you would find in normal dating situations. I tried talking to a few guys but I was not feeling it at all and either let them fizzle out or just ignored their calls completely (mean, I know- I’m sorry!). Who knows maybe I am too guarded?

But I am really starting to hate the single life- who am I kidding? I already hate it. I hate not having anyone to help with daily things in life. I hate not having that emotional support to come home to at the end of a bad day. I hate not having someone that I can take to “couple” activities. I hate not having someone to have inside jokes with. I hate the pressure I keep feeling every time I get on invitation that says "Susan and guest". I hate always feeling like the loser single person. I hate even thinking about having to go on an awkward date and going through the whole “getting to know you” process again only to find out that in the end it just won’t work. I hate everyone telling me it is going to happen when I least expect it, enjoy it while you can, blah, blah, blah. (All this coming from people who are already ½ of a happy couple, so really, can they completely understand?)

I have 2 years to find someone that gives me butterflies. Someone that makes me laugh, someone that I can trust, and someone that “gets” me- basically someone that I can open my heart to. He doesn’t per se have to be my future husband (but that would be nice). Just someone I can get to know and hopefully love. I need help. If you know of any single, smart, funny, employed, attractive men, let me know. Also, I love hearing how couples met so I can get ideas of what I can be doing to meet someone. So if you are a part of a happy couple, let me know how you met so I can get some ideas going!