Sunday Snippets- Rejection

Warning- this post may be long...

Oh goodness where to start?  On Thursday this week one of the girls in my bible study asked if we wanted to do dinner on Friday.  Most everyone could not do dinner on Friday but there was interest in getting dinner after church on Saturday night.  I always get a little nervous about making plans because they always seem to fall apart for me...but church and dinner sounded like a good plan to me.

A girl I work with had gone to Christmas at the DPAC with me and had said she wanted to go to church with me sometime and we had talked about her going with me on Saturday.  I asked if she was up for dinner too and she said she was.

Then I got an email from Summit Kids leader asking me if I could help out this weekend.  I told him I might be able to do the 4:00 service and asked if I could bring my friend.  So now I had to tell the girl I worked with the situation and asked if she wanted to help out in Summit Kids with me too.  She said she was up for that too. Thank goodness...plans were teetering, but still ok so far.

Meanwhile the b-study group text was blowing up about which service everyone was going to go to and where we wanted to eat.  We picked a place and I volunteered to make the reservations.

Between the time of this text when I volunteered to make the reservations and when I got to church on Saturday, FIVE people cancelled on me.  Two girls had to cancel within hours of making plans because they had already made plans for Saturday but forgot.  Another girl cancelled the next day because she needed some downtime and to save a little money. I had already asked another friend to join us and hadn't added her to the reservation yet, so thankfully didn't have to call and change it.  But that friend cancelled the day of because she had some dental work done the day before and was in too much pain.  And my friend from work cancelled 10 minutes before I had to be at church.

Y'all I do not know why but people cancelling on me or even just telling me no when I try to make plans hurts me.  Which is why I hardly ever am the one to try to plan something up or even invite people to things.

I didn't bring this up before, but that baby shower we threw...besides Kristin and I (the hostesses) and Stephanie (the one we were throwing it for)...only three other girls showed up.  We invited 15 or so girls and more than 3 had RSVPed yes, but yeah that kind of hurt too after putting all that work in to it.

The shower ended up being great with the smaller group and dinner on Saturday ended up being perfect with just three of us, but as I was driving to church I was so frustrated and hurt I cried out to God and asked why I took this stuff so personally and why it felt like such rejection and hurt me so badly.

I could feel God telling me He is no stranger to this.  People reject him all the time.  People say yes that they believe in Him and will follow Him no matter what but end up forgetting about that promise or doing what they want to do rather than what they had promised to do (myself included).

I had said yes to God, but for years forgot about Him and did what I wanted to do.  Even now that I love Him so much and am strongly pursuing Him, I still reject Him sometimes.  I do what I want to do instead of what He wants for me.  I felt so sorry for having said no to God so much because I know how much it hurts to feel rejected.  I told Him how sorry I was for rejecting Him and how sorry I was for all the rejection He has to deal with in general.

When people say no to me or cancel on me, it makes me want to not invite them to things anymore.  I know that is bad, but I would rather avoid future rejection than try to plan something again.  (This tendency of mine is probably another one of the reasons I am still single.  I have such huge rejection issues.)  In fact I told you, most of the time I am never the one to initiate planning of anything because of this.  I have such a hard time asking anyone for anything because I take "NO" so badly.  I am so thankful that I have friends who ask me to do things because otherwise I might never leave the dang house!

Anyway, the message at church that night was just what I needed to hear.  It was on Genesis 37 and the story of when Joseph's brothers sold him in to slavery and told his father he was dead.  Joseph's brothers hated him because he was daddy's favorite.  But despite their rejection of him, Joseph still loved and pursued them.  He went out to the wilderness looking for his brothers and when he finally found them his brothers ripped off his robe and threw him into a cistern.  They contemplated killing him, or just leaving him there, but then some traders going down to Egypt came by and they decided to sell their brother into slavery to them.  The brothers then took his robe, dipped it in blood, and took it to their father so that he would think Joseph had been killed in the wilderness.

The sermon was so good but I was processing even more from this story.

1. Joseph pursued his brothers even though they rejected him.  Same thing goes for God.  He still pursued us even though we reject Him.  THANK GOD!  I need to do this in my life.  I need to fight my natural urge to not plan things or invite people to things because of my fear of rejection.  I need to love them more than I fear the rejection.

2. Even though this rejection hurt Joseph (my goodness, I can't even handle people cancelling on me, I might not have survived this) God was using all this for Joseph and his family's good and also to tell His (God's) story.

If you don't know the rest of the story eventually Joseph comes in to power in Egypt (after years of slavery and even prison) and is able to save his family.  The pastor said "Joseph was rejected for the salvation of his family.  Jesus was rejected for the salvation of mankind."  So even though rejection hurts sometimes, God is using it all for our good.  And I just need to rest in that.

One of the other things the pastor pointed out- Joseph's brothers dipped his robe in blood to try to cover their sins before their father.  What a shadow that is of how we now can cover ourselves in the blood of Christ to cover our sins before our Father.  And the fact that this little detail is part of the story- amazing!  I tell you it is just amazing how God used all these stories in the Old Testament to point to Christ.  How He used these people's lives to tell His story.  I even whispered to my friend "How can people not believe this (the Gospel- Jesus)?!"  Everything points to Him.  He used all these things to foreshadow it.  GOD really is the best writer ever and I can't wait to see more and be a part of this wonderful story of His!

P.S. If you are one of the people who cancelled this weekend and/or didn't come to the baby shower, please do not take this personally or get hurt by this blog post.  I often try to hide my feelings and keep everything inside, or not blog about it for fear of hurting someone else, but I couldn't keep all this in out of fear that getting my feelings hurt and blogging about it would hurt someone else.

Believe me I know you have to say no sometimes.  I was even thinking of saying no to some more things this year because I tend to over commit myself.  And just last week I had to pull out of my New Year's Eve plans because of my tooth pain.  If I could make myself not hurt when people say no and/or cancel I totally would because I don't like feeling hurt.  But that's the thing with feelings, sometimes you just can't control them.  So I apologize in advance if this blog post hurts you in any way, but I just had to get it all out.

Everything ended up just the way it was supposed to be and both events went perfectly, so you were probably meant to say no and/or cancel.  This blog post is not about that or you personally.  It is about the hurt of rejection and what I learned from all this.

Am I alone in this?  Do any of you guys get so hurt over rejection (and or perceived rejection)?

Sunday Snippets- Forgiveness

The last 10 days have been hard for me.  First I was hurt by some people really close to me and then over the last week I've been hurt by someone new but significant in my life (no it's not a boy).  In both circumstances I don't think the hurt was intentional, but that doesn't lessen the effect.

I realized it had been a long time since I had been really hurt.  And I had forgotten how hard forgiveness can be! 

I've learned when I am hurt my most natural response is to run.  To end the relationship, get out of the situation, avoid ever letting it happen again.  I hold a grudge.  I want them to feel hurt too. But mainly I just want to run away from it.  

But you know what happens when you run?  YOU LOSE.  You  lose the relationship.  You have to carry that hurt even when the relationship is gone and you have the additional hurt of losing the relationship (if it was a good one).

You know what happens when you hold a grudge?  YOU LOSE.  Even if the relationship stays in tact, it will never be the same.  You will carry around the hurt and you will be quick to bring it back up.  You will add every hurt together until eventually you won't be able to maintain the relationship.

You know what happens when you hurt them back?  YOU LOSE.  Even though you may feel an initial satisfaction from your revenge, in the end it doesn't feel good to hurt someone (or at least it shouldn't).  I wonder how this dentist who pulled out all her ex boyfriend's teeth will feel when she's sitting in a jail cell? Although I did have to chuckle at the story because boy did she get him back for dumping her!

Forgiveness is freaking hard, but it is the only way you win.

I have been thankful for these experiences to remind me how hard forgiveness is.  It reminds me that one of the blessings of singleness is that you aren't in a position to have to forgive as often.  And more importantly it makes me even more aware of the weight of the forgiveness God shows me everyday.  Now when I pray "Please forgive me for..." I will be much more aware of what that means.  And how can I expect God to forgive me if I can't forgive others?

"But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." - Mark 11:25

Sunday Snippets- Jesus is Jonah

Hope you all had an amazing weekend!  This week at church we were in Jonah chapter 2.  At the very end of chapter 1 Jonah get swallowed by the big fish.  He spends 3 days in there before he asks God for help!  That seemed like a long time to me.  But thinking about it, I know I do the same thing in situations.  I'll give up hope or think I can fix it on my own sometimes or even be mad at God for the crappy situation I'm in and focus on other things instead of turning to Him.

Anyway, we mainly focused on Jonah's prayer to God during the sermon.  Here are some of the highlights from my notes:

- True repentance is like waking up from a dream. Your pride has been stripped away.  You see everything more clearly.

- If God strips away one of your idols and gives you a glimpse of how futile life is without Him before you die, that is His mercy!

- An idol is something you love, crave, or trust more than God.  (romance, money, career, kids, anything!)

- Jonah felt abandoned by God.  Was he? NO!

- God is after obedience that grows from desire.

- Jesus + Nothing= Everything...on the flip side...Everything - Jesus= Nothing

- Irreligious people don't think they need salvation from anything.

- Religious people know they need salvation but that it comes from themselves (something they are/do)

- True Christians know we need salvation and that it comes from God not from ourselves

- The Gospel is the only thing that gives you both humility and confidence at the same time.

- Jesus is Jonah because he went through what Jonah went through (in a way but way worse) for us.  He endured God's wake up call for us.

I will admit I shed a tear or two during this sermon at one point.

Back story- On Friday I had a little mental breakdown about yet again being the 3rd (or 13th or 21st) wheel on all the trips with my friends this year.  There are NO other single girls going on the two trips we've planned so I'm freaking out about who will I share a room with?  who will I ride with?  who will I split food with?  who will I ski with?  I honestly don't mind being single that much, but when it comes to trips and New Year's Eve (because of all the kissing.  I swear it's worse than Valentine's day.) it drives me to tears.  Well Friday I shed a lot of tears over it.

So at one point in the sermon, the pastor is trying to describe the relationship between God and His people.  There was some word that when translated meant something like "from the womb" and he apologized and said people without kids might not get it, but the thing it is most close to is the way a mother or father loves their child.  He said when he hears his kids crying...then he paused and said "well 9 times out of 10 they are crying over something that has nothing to do with reality...but those times they are really hurting or in pain, I would do ANYTHING...ANYTHING to make it go away.  And that is how God feels about you."

So automatically I am thinking about my breakdown on Friday and why won't God just let me find my husband so I won't have to cry about this crap anymore.  Why can't He just take away this pain??

But the more that I've thought about it over the weekend I'm starting to think that maybe this cry on Friday falls into one of those 9 times out of 10 cries that has nothing to do with reality.  I am hurting emotionally but over things that may not even matter and will probably work themselves out.  It had nothing to do with reality.  Only what I was worried about in my head. Yes, if I had a husband I would have a built-in partner for everything and would never have to worry about those things again.  But maybe I really shouldn't be worried about them in the first place.

Sunday Snippets- Merry Christmas!

I hope you guys all had a very Merry Christmas!

So this is more than a snippet...it is long, but well worth the watch (or just listen).  I was a little worried about what Christmas at the Summit was going to be like, but it was amazing!


Christmas at the Summit from The Summit Church on Vimeo.


I love the first song which is this really cool mix of O Come let us adore Him.

I also love the Matt Papa song Hope has Come!
"Hope has come! Let us adore Him! Born the king of ages!"

And check out the 23 minute mark where this adorable little girl recites the entire story of Jesus birth from Luke 2!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Sunday Snippets- Suffering

This week's sermon was on 1 Peter 5:6-11.  It was about suffering.  Here are my notes/thoughts:

- Most of the time we confuse suffering with inconvenience.  We have a lot of first world problems.  We like to play the victim.  We like to complain.  I do this all the time.  I was already thinking of making one of my New Year's resolutions to complain less.  I want to increase joy in my life.  Instead of focusing on the bad I need to focus on the good more.  I want to find joy no matter what the situation, not something to complain about no matter what the situation is.

The 3 main points from the sermon were:

1. Humble submission points us to the authority of God.  Who is the author of your life?  Do you really trust Him even when things are bad or not the way you want them to be?  Not all suffering is from God- we live in a fallen world.  And even if your suffering is discipline it is not punishment- the punishment for your sin was on the cross.

2. We always submit to something- either sin or authority.  We follow our desires instead of His direction.  What do you turn to for comfort?  Every idol in our life must be identified and destroyed.  He should be what we turn to for comfort.

3. Our struggle is not forever.  Even the entirety of your life is just a short time compared to eternity.

I went to church on Saturday night and when I came home I watched the movie Soul Surfer.  It was such a good movie!  But I cried almost the whole way through it because it really emphasized what suffering is and what it is not and what our reaction to it should be.

Then today I got word that my friend's mother passed away.  She had been battling cancer for a while.  It just made this whole suffering thing come in to perspective. 

Everyone experiences suffering in this life.  Everyone.  The point is not to compare yours to others.  The point is recognizing the difference between inconvenience and suffering and how you react to both.


"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."  Romans 5:3-4

Sunday Snippets

Sunday Snippets is where I share a little bit from what God is teaching me in my life- it could be through life experiences, the Sunday (or in my case Saturday this week) sermon at church, what I've been reading, or what we are studying in my small group.

This week it's a little bit of all the above.  We are working our way through first Peter at church and the big thing that stuck out from the sermon this week was how the church is a body of believers and just like the human body, we all have different roles.  He used the example that if you have an itch on your right elbow, a message has to be sent to your brain to feel the itch, the brain sends a message to the left hand to scratch the itch and the left hand takes action to relieve the itch on the right elbow.

I have definitely experienced this "body of believers" concept.  I was trying to describe to a friend that my small group was like this living, evolving thing that everyone contributes a little something different to.  It isn't a group of girls that are all exactly alike, but that is part of what makes it function because we all bring different things to the whole group dynamic.

My faith life would look completely different if I didn't see how God was working in their lives each week and be able to share my journey and get their feedback.  I used to think God didn't speak audibly to us anymore and get so jealous of those people in the Old Testament that got the hear God actually speaking to them or those who got to live with Jesus and have Him speak directly to them.  But God does speak to you.  He speaks to you through other believers who are a part of your life.  I have had conversations where it felt like God had taken control of my friends words and was speaking directly to me.  And some Sundays I am sitting there at church wondering if the pastor has been spying on me that week because it seems he is speaking directly to me and what is going on in my life.

You need to be a part of a community of others who share your faith so God can use them to speak to you and use you to speak to them.

1 Peter 4:11- "If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.  To him be the glory and power for ever and ever. Amen."