Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sunday Snippets- Forgiveness

The last 10 days have been hard for me.  First I was hurt by some people really close to me and then over the last week I've been hurt by someone new but significant in my life (no it's not a boy).  In both circumstances I don't think the hurt was intentional, but that doesn't lessen the effect.

I realized it had been a long time since I had been really hurt.  And I had forgotten how hard forgiveness can be! 

I've learned when I am hurt my most natural response is to run.  To end the relationship, get out of the situation, avoid ever letting it happen again.  I hold a grudge.  I want them to feel hurt too. But mainly I just want to run away from it.  

But you know what happens when you run?  YOU LOSE.  You  lose the relationship.  You have to carry that hurt even when the relationship is gone and you have the additional hurt of losing the relationship (if it was a good one).

You know what happens when you hold a grudge?  YOU LOSE.  Even if the relationship stays in tact, it will never be the same.  You will carry around the hurt and you will be quick to bring it back up.  You will add every hurt together until eventually you won't be able to maintain the relationship.

You know what happens when you hurt them back?  YOU LOSE.  Even though you may feel an initial satisfaction from your revenge, in the end it doesn't feel good to hurt someone (or at least it shouldn't).  I wonder how this dentist who pulled out all her ex boyfriend's teeth will feel when she's sitting in a jail cell? Although I did have to chuckle at the story because boy did she get him back for dumping her!

Forgiveness is freaking hard, but it is the only way you win.

I have been thankful for these experiences to remind me how hard forgiveness is.  It reminds me that one of the blessings of singleness is that you aren't in a position to have to forgive as often.  And more importantly it makes me even more aware of the weight of the forgiveness God shows me everyday.  Now when I pray "Please forgive me for..." I will be much more aware of what that means.  And how can I expect God to forgive me if I can't forgive others?

"But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too." - Mark 11:25

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