I have a lot of post ideas floating around in my head, but I can't seem to sit down and get them all out on paper. I am going to commit to writing one good post this week though. But I need your help deciding the topic:
1. DREAMS: I've been having really weird dreams lately...I could tell you all some of them and try to look up what they mean.
2. CLEANING: I found this FlyLady website through a blog and she has this program to get you on track with keeping your home clean and your life in order. I have been trying to follow it for a month and I could tell you about some new tips and tricks that have worked for me.
3. DATING: I have been DYING to write about the dilemmas in my on again off again relationship, but this blog is not private and I know it would make witty guy mad, but gosh I want to write about it so bad. Should I just do it anyway or stick to my "keep relationship things private" policy?
4. WANTS: I have been compiling a list of things I want. A wish list that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I could share some of that.
5. STYLE: Lately I have been wishing I was trendy...just a rant about how I stick to comfy and easy instead of bringing out the creative like I want to in my wardrobe.
6. WEDDINGS: I spent a lot of time watching the WE channel this weekend. I am convinced WE stands for Wedding Entertainment. This would just be a post about how we have become a wedding obsessed culture and how I have even fallen into that trap.
So what is your vote?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Snowed In
So it is supposed to snow/ice/sleet something this weekend. I only know this because they have been talking about this on the news (as their LEAD story) all week! They have been treating the roads for 3 days. The grocery stores are cleaned out, and my friend called to ask me where she could get a sled last night.
I'm all down for snow...not the ice. Southerners do not do well with ice. Right before I moved to Raleigh in 2005, they had a little ice storm and the whole city came to a deadlock. People skidding everywhere. Kids having to spend the night in schools because they couldn't get home. People said it took them 7 hours to drive 10 miles to get home from work!
Last time it snowed, my friend and I ventured out to Wal-Mart and Target to get some rain boots so we could play in the snow without our feet freezing off. (I know...we are crazy like that...the roads were not clear and it was still snowing, but it was a fun little adventure!)
I don't want to be stuck at my house by myself and bored all weekend, so Cam and I are going to have a slumber party at a friend's house. I have my rainboots and wintercoat ready and we are going to make some Chicken Divan and I got a box of peanut butter brownie mix to try out. She has a Wii and I am going to stop and get a movie at the Redbox. She has a dog, so Cam will have a friend. My house is a mess this week and could stand to be cleaned this weekend, but this sounded so much more fun!
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
I'm all down for snow...not the ice. Southerners do not do well with ice. Right before I moved to Raleigh in 2005, they had a little ice storm and the whole city came to a deadlock. People skidding everywhere. Kids having to spend the night in schools because they couldn't get home. People said it took them 7 hours to drive 10 miles to get home from work!
Last time it snowed, my friend and I ventured out to Wal-Mart and Target to get some rain boots so we could play in the snow without our feet freezing off. (I know...we are crazy like that...the roads were not clear and it was still snowing, but it was a fun little adventure!)
I don't want to be stuck at my house by myself and bored all weekend, so Cam and I are going to have a slumber party at a friend's house. I have my rainboots and wintercoat ready and we are going to make some Chicken Divan and I got a box of peanut butter brownie mix to try out. She has a Wii and I am going to stop and get a movie at the Redbox. She has a dog, so Cam will have a friend. My house is a mess this week and could stand to be cleaned this weekend, but this sounded so much more fun!
Hope you all have a great weekend!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wow God! That was fast!
Saturday afternoon I had a mini-melt down. I went to the Advanced Training for our First Impressions Team at church. I had every intention of letting them know that I would like to be a substitute for people who had to miss a volunteering shift instead of a full-timer. You see I started doing the First Time Guest Tent volunteering full time in August last year. At that time it was all new and exciting and there were 3 other girls doing it with me. Slowly that number dwindled and for the past month I have been the only one there volunteering at the table for our 12:30 service. It started to wear on me because…
#1 it was a lot of pressure- if I didn’t show up, there would be no one there!
#2- it eats up A LOT of your Sunday. If I went to the 10:45 service and volunteered for the 12:30 every Sunday, I spent about 4 hours at church and you do know there are only 2 days in the weekend, so it gave me hardly any time to get things done around the house or relax.
#3- Because of that I wasn’t attending a service at all. And pouring myself into the church without getting “fed” with the sermon for an extended period of time was starting to affect me.
#4-It was lonely. I could hear all the other volunteers chatting at the coffee bar while service was going on, but oftentimes, the information table was unattended and I had to pull double duty and I had to make up the gift bags, take down the tent, and clean up by myself. I’m shy so even if I had time to “chat” I just couldn’t walk up and join the group.
But when I walked in to training, the team leader came up to me and thanked me so much for serving and begged me not to get discouraged and said they were really looking for someone to help me out. Then after I sat down at the table the campus pastor came up to me and said basically the same thing. It was like God saying “Sorry but you are going to have to stick it out a few more months.” The next commitment time was Feb.- July and as I sat through training I started to get more and more overwhelmed at the thought of doing this EVERY Sunday by myself until July!
I also happened to sit at a table that was all composed of a small group who were volunteering as a team for our new service location. So when we broke into groups to discuss the various needs and stuff I was so isolated at that table. They were all in a small group together and volunteering for a totally different service so I didn’t have much to add to their conversation. This led to that lonely, small feeling I get in such a big church and I felt my face getting hot, my throat constricting, and tears welling up behind my eyes. So I just got up and left.
I am not a crier and I certainly didn’t want to cry in front of these people I didn’t know for something so trivial. As I drove home I cried and cried. I did not even know why this was all bothering me so much. I talked to God and just told Him I was so tired and felt so alone and I didn’t know if I could do it. I was so overwhelmed with everything in my life and this was the thing that finally brought me to my knees.
I talked to my small group leader and my best friend and they were able to help me calm down. But I was still dreading church the next day. I knew if I skipped the service it would be just like it was last month and I would be miserable. But the thought of going by myself made me want to vomit. So I texted one of my co-workers who mentioned wanting to go to church with me and he agreed to go to the 10:45 service with me. I was so glad because I hate asking people to go to church with me. I am so afraid they will take offense and think I am one of those crazy Christians trying to “save” them because they are such a heathen, but really I just want someone to sit with me and I hope they can get something from the sermons and songs like I do. I learn so much listening to our pastor and the music is really good, so I just want to share it with someone.
Anyway, he came with me and I prayed on the way there that we would get seat because I heard last week there were 87 people in the lobby! We were running a little bit late and had to park in Siberia, but there were plenty of seats left when we got there! I was so excited. Thank you God! The service was good and I did not have that lonely isolated feeling. I was still dreading serving at the tent though.
When service was over we walked out and stopped by the tent to get J a first time guest gift. After saying bye to him I steeled myself for the long lonely time I was about to have. But guess what?! Not one, but two girls committed to volunteering in the tent with me during the 12:30 service! I was so excited! I knew one of the girls because she did the 10:45 service and had helped me out some in the past and the other new girl was really nice too! They said they had decided yesterday to do it and tried to find me at the meeting but I had just left! God had answered my prayers before I even prayed them! I just didn’t give Him time to tell me because I was taking all of this on myself and not trusting Him to take care of me!
Later that day I took a nap because it had been such a roller coater of a weekend. While I slept I had a dream I was in Panera with a friend and all of a sudden they started giving out money as a customer appreciation event. In my dream, I was passed over by the employees handing out rewards and didn’t think I was going to get anything. As I was taking my trash up, an employee handed me an envelope. I quickly scanned the contents and it looked like a couple ones, a ten, and a couple of fives. I was excited. But when I sat back down at the table and pulled out the money to inspect it better I saw one of the bills that I thought was a $5 bill was actually $5000! (Do $5,000 bills actually exist?) I knew immediately this was God giving me the money I needed for the Dubai trip (and more!). In my dream I was so overwhelmed with gratitude and amazement that it carried over when I woke up! (I know this won’t happen in real life because really? Can you see Panera doing something like that?) But it was the best feeling yesterday. I started to fear just a little bit less and trust just a little bit more.
Even though I know I don’t need to worry and I need to trust God more to take care of me, I just can’t stop. I can’t stop the “what if” game in my head. Things seem impossible sometimes and taking everything on my shoulders is just too hard. A lot of the times though I feel like my prayers go up into thin air and disappear. But this weekend was a reminder that God does hear me and He can do amazing and sometimes seemingly impossible things.
#1 it was a lot of pressure- if I didn’t show up, there would be no one there!
#2- it eats up A LOT of your Sunday. If I went to the 10:45 service and volunteered for the 12:30 every Sunday, I spent about 4 hours at church and you do know there are only 2 days in the weekend, so it gave me hardly any time to get things done around the house or relax.
#3- Because of that I wasn’t attending a service at all. And pouring myself into the church without getting “fed” with the sermon for an extended period of time was starting to affect me.
#4-It was lonely. I could hear all the other volunteers chatting at the coffee bar while service was going on, but oftentimes, the information table was unattended and I had to pull double duty and I had to make up the gift bags, take down the tent, and clean up by myself. I’m shy so even if I had time to “chat” I just couldn’t walk up and join the group.
But when I walked in to training, the team leader came up to me and thanked me so much for serving and begged me not to get discouraged and said they were really looking for someone to help me out. Then after I sat down at the table the campus pastor came up to me and said basically the same thing. It was like God saying “Sorry but you are going to have to stick it out a few more months.” The next commitment time was Feb.- July and as I sat through training I started to get more and more overwhelmed at the thought of doing this EVERY Sunday by myself until July!
I also happened to sit at a table that was all composed of a small group who were volunteering as a team for our new service location. So when we broke into groups to discuss the various needs and stuff I was so isolated at that table. They were all in a small group together and volunteering for a totally different service so I didn’t have much to add to their conversation. This led to that lonely, small feeling I get in such a big church and I felt my face getting hot, my throat constricting, and tears welling up behind my eyes. So I just got up and left.
I am not a crier and I certainly didn’t want to cry in front of these people I didn’t know for something so trivial. As I drove home I cried and cried. I did not even know why this was all bothering me so much. I talked to God and just told Him I was so tired and felt so alone and I didn’t know if I could do it. I was so overwhelmed with everything in my life and this was the thing that finally brought me to my knees.
I talked to my small group leader and my best friend and they were able to help me calm down. But I was still dreading church the next day. I knew if I skipped the service it would be just like it was last month and I would be miserable. But the thought of going by myself made me want to vomit. So I texted one of my co-workers who mentioned wanting to go to church with me and he agreed to go to the 10:45 service with me. I was so glad because I hate asking people to go to church with me. I am so afraid they will take offense and think I am one of those crazy Christians trying to “save” them because they are such a heathen, but really I just want someone to sit with me and I hope they can get something from the sermons and songs like I do. I learn so much listening to our pastor and the music is really good, so I just want to share it with someone.
Anyway, he came with me and I prayed on the way there that we would get seat because I heard last week there were 87 people in the lobby! We were running a little bit late and had to park in Siberia, but there were plenty of seats left when we got there! I was so excited. Thank you God! The service was good and I did not have that lonely isolated feeling. I was still dreading serving at the tent though.
When service was over we walked out and stopped by the tent to get J a first time guest gift. After saying bye to him I steeled myself for the long lonely time I was about to have. But guess what?! Not one, but two girls committed to volunteering in the tent with me during the 12:30 service! I was so excited! I knew one of the girls because she did the 10:45 service and had helped me out some in the past and the other new girl was really nice too! They said they had decided yesterday to do it and tried to find me at the meeting but I had just left! God had answered my prayers before I even prayed them! I just didn’t give Him time to tell me because I was taking all of this on myself and not trusting Him to take care of me!
Later that day I took a nap because it had been such a roller coater of a weekend. While I slept I had a dream I was in Panera with a friend and all of a sudden they started giving out money as a customer appreciation event. In my dream, I was passed over by the employees handing out rewards and didn’t think I was going to get anything. As I was taking my trash up, an employee handed me an envelope. I quickly scanned the contents and it looked like a couple ones, a ten, and a couple of fives. I was excited. But when I sat back down at the table and pulled out the money to inspect it better I saw one of the bills that I thought was a $5 bill was actually $5000! (Do $5,000 bills actually exist?) I knew immediately this was God giving me the money I needed for the Dubai trip (and more!). In my dream I was so overwhelmed with gratitude and amazement that it carried over when I woke up! (I know this won’t happen in real life because really? Can you see Panera doing something like that?) But it was the best feeling yesterday. I started to fear just a little bit less and trust just a little bit more.
Even though I know I don’t need to worry and I need to trust God more to take care of me, I just can’t stop. I can’t stop the “what if” game in my head. Things seem impossible sometimes and taking everything on my shoulders is just too hard. A lot of the times though I feel like my prayers go up into thin air and disappear. But this weekend was a reminder that God does hear me and He can do amazing and sometimes seemingly impossible things.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Dog Photography and Dating Decision
Cam has his photo session booked for Valentine's Day weekend which could not be anymore perfect since he is always my #1 Valentine!
Funny thing is that we figured out the photographer and I had been in the same agility class a few months ago! How crazy is that? It is such a small world!
I am so excited because her pictures are so great! I figure since I may never get married and have wedding pictures to spluge on, I may as well take advantage of this and get pictures of my biggest LOVE!
Check out her pictures here:
Diane Lewis Photography
I'm also going to get her to take a few shots of my mom's dog and get her some prints for Mother's Day or something.
So excited!
Oh and I give up on dating and trying to find "the one". I am too tired and busy to even try and dating sucks. I am tired of becoming best friends with someone and then never talking to them again. I decided I am fine if I never get married. I think it will be much more difficult financially and emotionally, but I am ok with it. If I happen to bump in to "The One" at the grocery store and we just click and live happily ever after, then great. But I otherwise, I am so over it.
Funny thing is that we figured out the photographer and I had been in the same agility class a few months ago! How crazy is that? It is such a small world!
I am so excited because her pictures are so great! I figure since I may never get married and have wedding pictures to spluge on, I may as well take advantage of this and get pictures of my biggest LOVE!
Check out her pictures here:
Diane Lewis Photography
I'm also going to get her to take a few shots of my mom's dog and get her some prints for Mother's Day or something.
So excited!
Oh and I give up on dating and trying to find "the one". I am too tired and busy to even try and dating sucks. I am tired of becoming best friends with someone and then never talking to them again. I decided I am fine if I never get married. I think it will be much more difficult financially and emotionally, but I am ok with it. If I happen to bump in to "The One" at the grocery store and we just click and live happily ever after, then great. But I otherwise, I am so over it.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Random Thoughts
I can’t muster up the energy to write a good, inspired, thought-provoking post this week. My brain is fried, so here are so random thoughts floating around in there:
Since when did I become a ma’am? I know it is polite to say “Yes Sir” and “No Ma’am” but being called Ma’am just bothers the crap out of me! It makes me feel like I am a grandma and old as crap.
I watched Food, Inc. last night and it really made me wish I had the willpower to become a vegetarian.
I am loving Carrie Underwood’s CD right now.
I sent a long plea email to my COBRA administration company begging them to reinstate me due to extenuating circumstances. They opened up a case for me, so all hope isn’t lost just yet.
My dog pawed me in the face over the weekend and I have a big red scratch down the middle of my nose. It makes me want to hide my face and stay at home all week.
I bought a new purse this weekend but I am taking it back tomorrow because I need the money for my application for the mission trip to Dubai! More details on this to come later I am sure.
I won a half price session with a really good dog photographer. It is still $42 and that does not include any of the pictures. Her pictures are so good though and Cam is my biggest love. Should I take advantage of it?
I had the money conversation with my boss (kind of). It was kind of thrown onto the end of a long meeting and I was just basically like what can I do to earn more money? Didn’t get much of an answer except that it depends on the market, but now she has laid out exactly what she expects of me this year, so I am making my way through the list and when I have everything checked off and felt like I have exceeded expectations, I will be bringing it up again.
Have you guys ever watched Big Love on HBO? I watched the first 2 seasons on DVD last year and loved them. I could never ever be in a plural marriage because of my slightly green jealous gene, but the show really does make it less creepy and seem somewhat practical. Thoughts?
Speaking of TV, now that I no longer have DVR (or more than 20 channels- 3 of which are home shopping and 2 Spanish channels), the only shows I seem to watch are Entertainment Tonight, The Bachelor, Grey's, and Desperate Housewives. For a TV junkie like me, that is really something!
Since when did I become a ma’am? I know it is polite to say “Yes Sir” and “No Ma’am” but being called Ma’am just bothers the crap out of me! It makes me feel like I am a grandma and old as crap.
I watched Food, Inc. last night and it really made me wish I had the willpower to become a vegetarian.
I am loving Carrie Underwood’s CD right now.
I sent a long plea email to my COBRA administration company begging them to reinstate me due to extenuating circumstances. They opened up a case for me, so all hope isn’t lost just yet.
My dog pawed me in the face over the weekend and I have a big red scratch down the middle of my nose. It makes me want to hide my face and stay at home all week.
I bought a new purse this weekend but I am taking it back tomorrow because I need the money for my application for the mission trip to Dubai! More details on this to come later I am sure.
I won a half price session with a really good dog photographer. It is still $42 and that does not include any of the pictures. Her pictures are so good though and Cam is my biggest love. Should I take advantage of it?
I had the money conversation with my boss (kind of). It was kind of thrown onto the end of a long meeting and I was just basically like what can I do to earn more money? Didn’t get much of an answer except that it depends on the market, but now she has laid out exactly what she expects of me this year, so I am making my way through the list and when I have everything checked off and felt like I have exceeded expectations, I will be bringing it up again.
Have you guys ever watched Big Love on HBO? I watched the first 2 seasons on DVD last year and loved them. I could never ever be in a plural marriage because of my slightly green jealous gene, but the show really does make it less creepy and seem somewhat practical. Thoughts?
Speaking of TV, now that I no longer have DVR (or more than 20 channels- 3 of which are home shopping and 2 Spanish channels), the only shows I seem to watch are Entertainment Tonight, The Bachelor, Grey's, and Desperate Housewives. For a TV junkie like me, that is really something!
Monday, January 18, 2010
I hate speed bumps
Life has been packed for me over the last few weeks. I feel like I am in constant motion and always have 500 things on my to-do list. But I kind of like it this way. I hate being bored.
But when your life is flying along like this you sometimes hit speed bumps.
Remember how I told you my COBRA coverage was extended. Well, they dropped me. The payment was due December 31 and my check was postmarked Jan. 7th. They told me there is nothing they can do to reinstate me.
Ugh. So I guess I just added find insurance to my to-do list.
But when your life is flying along like this you sometimes hit speed bumps.
Remember how I told you my COBRA coverage was extended. Well, they dropped me. The payment was due December 31 and my check was postmarked Jan. 7th. They told me there is nothing they can do to reinstate me.
Ugh. So I guess I just added find insurance to my to-do list.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife...
...but a TIGER sure would!
Where do pigs park their cars?
In a PORKING lot!
What is the name of a woman who only has 1 leg and lost her crutches?
Eilleen
What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they ARRRGGGGH!
I love corny jokes! Got any?
Where do pigs park their cars?
In a PORKING lot!
What is the name of a woman who only has 1 leg and lost her crutches?
Eilleen
What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they ARRRGGGGH!
I love corny jokes! Got any?
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