I have exactly 7 months to complete my 30 Before 30 list. Talk about pressure! To keep me on top of things I am going to do a monthly review of where I am with my progress towards marking everything off:
Journey towards loving my body:
1.Get in the best shape of my life
8.Go to a water park and not feel self-conscious
21. Go skinny dipping
I started going to the gym again and I’m watching what I eat. But I didn’t go crazy with it. I am doing small steps. I went to the gym almost every day last week. Even if it was really late or I really didn’t feel like going, I tried to force myself.
Things that have helped me:
1. I have a piggy bank in my kitchen and I put a dollar in it every time I go to the gym. Just the act of putting that dollar in the piggy bank motivates me to go. It’s like getting a gold star for that day.
2. I try to change into my workout clothes as soon as I get home from work. Even if I don’t go to the gym right away, having the clothes on almost forces me to go.
3. One day I REALLY did not want to go and it was super late. But I forced myself to go and at least do 20 minutes on the elliptical. It isn’t all or nothing. I don’t have to spend over an hour there, as long as I get myself there, I can pump out at least 20 minutes.
4. I’m trying to go a whole month without weighing myself. I am trying to judge this by how my clothes fit and learn to not live and die by the scale because it fluctuates so much.
Journey towards deepening Faith:
14. Go on a mission trip
19. Travel abroad (just because this is most likely going to be tied to a mission trip for now)
27. Read the Bible all the way through
I emailed the church about going on a mission trip and there was an opportunity to go on a trip to India in March/April. But the focus of that trip was coaching local church planters and I just didn’t think that was a good fit for me since I don’t know much about effective church planting. But this Sunday I am going to a meeting about a trip the church is planning to Dubai in July. The needs for this trip are mainly providing hospitality at a missionary conference which is much more up my alley. I really hope this one works out!
As far as the Bible reading, I am really behind! I bought a “Read the Bible in One Year” companion book last year and I think I am just in March on that plan. I need to get on the ball with this one!
Journey towards Financial Freedom:
3.Get a job I love
5.Pay all my own bills (with no help from mom)
25.Invest in the stock market
I would mark off “Get a job I love” if it weren’t for the fact that I am making 2/3 of what I was making last year and can barely make ends meet. My job is not perfect, but I love working in Real Estate and I can see this progressing and I don’t feel like I am in a job that will never go anywhere. Eventually I want to activate my license and start selling, but I love the marketing aspect too. I am close, really close to being able to mark that off, but not quite there yet. I need to have a frank discussion with my boss on my salary and opportunities for advancement, but I am trying to wait until the market warms up a bit and we are bringing in more money before broaching the subject. (ANY TIPS ON HOW TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION?!) The other 2 depend on what happens with that first one. I continue to try to cut out as much as I can. I keep my thermostat set on 66. I have learned to live with approximately 4 channels on the TV. I’m not going on the annual ski trip. I am cooking at home more. I am buying generic and cheaper everyday items. Hopefully I’ll get there soon!
Journey towards LOVE:
6.Ask out a crush
11.Open my heart to someone
26.Kiss in the rain
The past year I have spent in an on again off again relationship/non-relationship with the same guy. I have no crushes that I want to ask out. I don’t feel like I have opened my heart completely to this guy, and the kissing in the rain one is more about getting a “movie love” moment which has not happened. I have learned a lot about myself in relationships, what I want/need, and ways I need to improve my loving and respecting skills, but this one is still the biggest struggle. It’s hard because I feel like it is something that will just happen. But that doesn’t mean I’m not doing what I can to help it along.
Have a little fun along the way:
10.Catch a fish- Anyone have a pole?
18. Upgrade one room in my house- I REALLY want to get hardwood floors throughout my downstairs. With my connections with work, I could get it done for about $1500-$2000. But that may not happen. I might just have to settle for putting hardware on the kitchen cabinets and upgrading the faucet for the kitchen sink.
23. Take a dance lesson- I looked into the dance lessons and there was one I wanted to do to learn ball room dancing, but it is for couples only and I would need someone to go with me. It starts up again in April I think, so maybe I could find someone interested before then.
9. kayak & 29. Attempt Surfing - I think I am going to try to accomplish these two when I go to my mom’s timeshare at Atlantic Beach in August. They had both options available down there last year, but I just couldn’t fit them in. If I find someone who will do the kayaking before then with me, then all the better. They have lots of options for kayaking around here in the spring/summer.
I’m not even half way there yet! I have a lot of work to do over the next few months!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
DA Line
I had to go to court this morning. Did I tell ya'll about my fender-bender back in December? I can't remember if I mentioned it. Anyway, long story short, I accidentally sideswipped someone. I got a ticket for unsafe movement.
So today was my court day and it made for an interesting/different kind of morning.
First, the time for court on my ticket was 8 am. I took an Ambien around 10:30 pm last night, but I swear I have become immune to those things because I didn't fall asleep until like 2 am.
I had set my 2 alarms for 6:30 and 7. When I opened my eyes and looked at the clock this morning it was 8:05. I guess I slept through both alarms! I threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair, let the dog out and hurried out the door.
I rarely ever go to downtown Raleigh. It is about a 20 minute drive from where I live and all the one-way streets and traffic and skinny lanes make me nervous. But as I was driving through the city streets I thought how cool it would be to live downtown or in a big city somewhere. I could walk everywhere, have a bagel shop in my lobby, and just feel all city-ish. I always regret not living somewhere like DC or NYC for a few years after college to get that big city experience. But let's be realistic...who can really afford that? I know I couldn't.
Anyway, I had to drive around the courthouse a couple times, but found a 30-minute parking spot about 4 blocks away finally and figured that was the best I was going to get.
On my walk to the courthouse I got nervous a couple times passing some umm...interesting looking people. I made sure my purse was shut and just walked as quickly as possible without making eye contact with anyone. I made it to the courthouse and through security and went upstairs to the courtroom listed on my ticket.
Did I mention I had been here before? A few years ago I got a speeding ticket, so I was better prepared this time. The last time I actually went to the FEDERAL courthouse instead of the county courthouse. The guy laughed at me when I asked him where I needed to go for my speeding ticket. That was a bad day and it took me forever to get where I needed to be.
Anyway, I knew right where to go this time. The "courtroom" for minor offenses like this is this big room with a desk up front and all these ropes that form confusing curving lines. As I was waiting in line to check in, to my right was another line and I looked at the sign above them and it said "DA LINE". I laughed to myself and thought "is that the line for ghetto people? I love that they are embracing eubonics!"
When it got to be my turn to check in the lady said "Ok, you have to speak to the D.A. and pointed me to DA LINE". Seriously it wasn't until then that it clicked. Get it? D.A. line? I was cracking myself up so much in my head that I wanted to take a picture of the sign, but I had left my cell phone in my car. But I still had to share the story!
(I know ya'll are thinking "gosh what an idiot" but it still has me cracking up at myself 4 hours later, and I swear I'm not dumb, it was just one of those kind of mornings!)
The ticket was dismissed and I didn't even have to pay any court fees. And even though the whole thing took more than 30 minutes, my car was still there when I got back to it (and no parking ticket! yay!) and I made it to work by 10 am.
So other than my somewhat oily non-washed hair and no make-up face, today has been pretty good so far.
Not bad for a Monday.
So today was my court day and it made for an interesting/different kind of morning.
First, the time for court on my ticket was 8 am. I took an Ambien around 10:30 pm last night, but I swear I have become immune to those things because I didn't fall asleep until like 2 am.
I had set my 2 alarms for 6:30 and 7. When I opened my eyes and looked at the clock this morning it was 8:05. I guess I slept through both alarms! I threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair, let the dog out and hurried out the door.
I rarely ever go to downtown Raleigh. It is about a 20 minute drive from where I live and all the one-way streets and traffic and skinny lanes make me nervous. But as I was driving through the city streets I thought how cool it would be to live downtown or in a big city somewhere. I could walk everywhere, have a bagel shop in my lobby, and just feel all city-ish. I always regret not living somewhere like DC or NYC for a few years after college to get that big city experience. But let's be realistic...who can really afford that? I know I couldn't.
Anyway, I had to drive around the courthouse a couple times, but found a 30-minute parking spot about 4 blocks away finally and figured that was the best I was going to get.
On my walk to the courthouse I got nervous a couple times passing some umm...interesting looking people. I made sure my purse was shut and just walked as quickly as possible without making eye contact with anyone. I made it to the courthouse and through security and went upstairs to the courtroom listed on my ticket.
Did I mention I had been here before? A few years ago I got a speeding ticket, so I was better prepared this time. The last time I actually went to the FEDERAL courthouse instead of the county courthouse. The guy laughed at me when I asked him where I needed to go for my speeding ticket. That was a bad day and it took me forever to get where I needed to be.
Anyway, I knew right where to go this time. The "courtroom" for minor offenses like this is this big room with a desk up front and all these ropes that form confusing curving lines. As I was waiting in line to check in, to my right was another line and I looked at the sign above them and it said "DA LINE". I laughed to myself and thought "is that the line for ghetto people? I love that they are embracing eubonics!"
When it got to be my turn to check in the lady said "Ok, you have to speak to the D.A. and pointed me to DA LINE". Seriously it wasn't until then that it clicked. Get it? D.A. line? I was cracking myself up so much in my head that I wanted to take a picture of the sign, but I had left my cell phone in my car. But I still had to share the story!
(I know ya'll are thinking "gosh what an idiot" but it still has me cracking up at myself 4 hours later, and I swear I'm not dumb, it was just one of those kind of mornings!)
The ticket was dismissed and I didn't even have to pay any court fees. And even though the whole thing took more than 30 minutes, my car was still there when I got back to it (and no parking ticket! yay!) and I made it to work by 10 am.
So other than my somewhat oily non-washed hair and no make-up face, today has been pretty good so far.
Not bad for a Monday.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Temper Tantrum
I think I know what 2 year olds feel like when they throw temper tantrums now. Have you ever just been so frustrated because you weren't getting your way, you felt like no one was listening to you, you couldn't effectively communicate your frustrations, you were tired, angry, and hurt emotionally and you just wanted everything to be okay again? I imagine that is what a 2 year old feels like when he is throwing a temper tantrum. And it's kind of how I felt last night.
I won't go into all the details, but it had been a long day/week/month/year already, and I was tired and stressed and needed some help. I hate asking for help, so that didn't help the situation either. Well all this combined with some disappointment and hurtful words turned into my very own temper tantrum.
I was mean, said hurtful things, I was sick of it, I was whiny, and I just wanted it to be over. I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere with a perticular individual and I was frustrated at my overwhelming to-do list running through the back of my head and all my money worries creeping into my thoughts. I probably wasn't concentrating on what was being said either, and it's just so darn frustrating! I almost feel another temper tantrum coming on right now just thinking about it.
While I may not lie down on the floor and scream and cry (ok maybe every once in a while), I do shut down and lash out when I feel overwhelmed. It's my own grown-up version on a temper tantrum. I guess there are some things that I'll never out-grow.
Do you throw grown up temper tantrums? How do you and the people around you deal with them?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Habit of Helping- CHECK!
Have you ever seen the movie Seven Pounds? It’s a little weird, and I could not stand the jellyfish in that movie, but I loved how he did these MAJOR things for other people. Things like giving an abused woman a house so she could escape her abuser, donating a kidney, a lobe of his lung, a part of his liver, and ultimately his eyes and heart. Most of the people he helps are strangers.
When I made my 30 Before 30 List and put “Help a Stranger” on there, I kind of had this huge type of help in mind. Or saving someone’s life, or even helping someone change a tire (not likely since I can’t even change my own tire!)
But I think I have started something better. I think I have started the practice of helping people everyday so that if I am ever called upon to help in some major way, I will be ready.
I started out volunteering for the SPCA a few years ago. I would go one night each week and take all the dogs out for the last time before bed, clean their rooms, make their beds and give each one a kong with peanut butter as I put them in their crates. I supplemented it by volunteering a few weekends doing such things as giving the dogs play time, teaching them manners and tricks like sit/down, and helping families find a dog to adopt or volunteering for such things as their K9 3K fundraising event. This was before I had Cam and I loved it. Once I got a dog of my own, I didn’t have the time to commit to it, but I did that for over 2 years.
Now I volunteer at church at our first time guest table every Sunday and I just signed on to be on a Marketing Advisory Board for a non-profit.
For some reason I still didn’t feel like I could mark “help a stranger” off my list.
So I tried doing things like paying for the person behind me in the drive-thru. It made me feel good for a few minutes, but didn’t give me that “Man, I did something really good and changed someone’s life” kind of feeling. I just kept feeling like it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t giving up part of my body or making anyone’s dreams come true.
A few weeks ago my Bible Study group adopted a little girl for Christmas from our leader’s school that she teaches at. We all went shopping together for her and we had so much fun. We went a little crazy and got her SO many things! We got her a few outfits, a few pairs of shoes, an easy bake oven and some food to make in it, a jewelry making kit, craft supplies, and even more things I can’t even remember! In all we spent about $200 on her and our cart was over-flowing! Check it out:
Last night I asked the girls if they thought I could use this to mark off “Help a Stranger” on my list and they all said of course! I thought and thought about this for days/weeks and I have decided to mark this off my list. Not because of this one event, but because I can see that I have developed the HABIT of helping others. I try to do whatever I can to give back and if someone ever does need something huge from me one day, I know I’ll be ready.
When I made my 30 Before 30 List and put “Help a Stranger” on there, I kind of had this huge type of help in mind. Or saving someone’s life, or even helping someone change a tire (not likely since I can’t even change my own tire!)
But I think I have started something better. I think I have started the practice of helping people everyday so that if I am ever called upon to help in some major way, I will be ready.
I started out volunteering for the SPCA a few years ago. I would go one night each week and take all the dogs out for the last time before bed, clean their rooms, make their beds and give each one a kong with peanut butter as I put them in their crates. I supplemented it by volunteering a few weekends doing such things as giving the dogs play time, teaching them manners and tricks like sit/down, and helping families find a dog to adopt or volunteering for such things as their K9 3K fundraising event. This was before I had Cam and I loved it. Once I got a dog of my own, I didn’t have the time to commit to it, but I did that for over 2 years.
Now I volunteer at church at our first time guest table every Sunday and I just signed on to be on a Marketing Advisory Board for a non-profit.
For some reason I still didn’t feel like I could mark “help a stranger” off my list.
So I tried doing things like paying for the person behind me in the drive-thru. It made me feel good for a few minutes, but didn’t give me that “Man, I did something really good and changed someone’s life” kind of feeling. I just kept feeling like it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t giving up part of my body or making anyone’s dreams come true.
A few weeks ago my Bible Study group adopted a little girl for Christmas from our leader’s school that she teaches at. We all went shopping together for her and we had so much fun. We went a little crazy and got her SO many things! We got her a few outfits, a few pairs of shoes, an easy bake oven and some food to make in it, a jewelry making kit, craft supplies, and even more things I can’t even remember! In all we spent about $200 on her and our cart was over-flowing! Check it out:
Last night I asked the girls if they thought I could use this to mark off “Help a Stranger” on my list and they all said of course! I thought and thought about this for days/weeks and I have decided to mark this off my list. Not because of this one event, but because I can see that I have developed the HABIT of helping others. I try to do whatever I can to give back and if someone ever does need something huge from me one day, I know I’ll be ready.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Last Grateful Giveaway Winner and Brain Rotting TV
Wow, I'm glad so many of you all entered my Favorite Things Giveaway! You guys had so many cool favorite things yourself! Definately going to give some of them a try!
And the winner of my last Grateful Giveaway is...
True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 25
Result: 14
CARLY!
Email me your address so I can get your goodies out to you!
Thank you again averyone for reading my little blog. I wish I could send you all something! And I hope to do some more random givaways throughout the year.
Now onto more mindless things...
Did any of you watch the Bachelor last night? I watched Jake on last season and I liked him then, but last night I was like OH MY!
He does seem a little bit perfect doesn't he? Perfect body, a pilot (doesn't everyone love a man in uniform?), handy around the house, really looking for love, and so sweet. I was regretting not signing up for this season just to see this mythical creature in real life!
The girls however disappointed me. There were only about 2 I liked and one of them didn't get a rose. There also seem to be a lot of models/dancers. And one girl had her occupation as Homemaker. How do you earn a living being a single homemaker? That just confused the crap out of me.
I was glad to see Deanna and Ed still together. I liked Ed.
But man! Jake just may be the best Bachelor yet. I hope he doesn't do anything to screw that up over this season!
I know this crappy TV rots my brain, but it's so entertaining isn't it?
What do you think of Jake? Who is your favorite of the girls?
And the winner of my last Grateful Giveaway is...
True Random Number Generator
Min: 1
Max: 25
Result: 14
CARLY!
Email me your address so I can get your goodies out to you!
Thank you again averyone for reading my little blog. I wish I could send you all something! And I hope to do some more random givaways throughout the year.
Now onto more mindless things...
Did any of you watch the Bachelor last night? I watched Jake on last season and I liked him then, but last night I was like OH MY!
He does seem a little bit perfect doesn't he? Perfect body, a pilot (doesn't everyone love a man in uniform?), handy around the house, really looking for love, and so sweet. I was regretting not signing up for this season just to see this mythical creature in real life!
The girls however disappointed me. There were only about 2 I liked and one of them didn't get a rose. There also seem to be a lot of models/dancers. And one girl had her occupation as Homemaker. How do you earn a living being a single homemaker? That just confused the crap out of me.
I was glad to see Deanna and Ed still together. I liked Ed.
But man! Jake just may be the best Bachelor yet. I hope he doesn't do anything to screw that up over this season!
I know this crappy TV rots my brain, but it's so entertaining isn't it?
What do you think of Jake? Who is your favorite of the girls?
Monday, January 4, 2010
Thank you Uncle Sam!
I just found out that the government extended paying for 65% of my COBRA coverage through the end of July! I am so freaking excited!
I had spent the lst month and a half applying for individual coverage because my COBRA was about to go up to over $500 at the end of January. It was a very nerve-wrecking process that included divuldging my complete medical history and an interview with them where they knew every doctor I had ever visited and every prescription I had ever had and I had to explain every one.
This morning I got the approval for individual coverage in my email and signed up for it even though it was the worst possible coverage with ridiculously high co-pays and deductibles and I would be paying $225/mo. instead of $190/mo. (I was happy with that because I expected A LOT worse from what I had heard.)
But when I called to cancel my COBRA coverage they asked why I was canceling and I explained I could not afford over $500/mo. They told me the government had extended that extra coverage and it would cover me under the lower rate until the end of JULY!!
I quickly called BCBS and asked them to cancel my individual coverage (they had no problem with that since my group COBRA policy is through them too so they are getting paid one way or another!)
I have a few more months of good health care coverage and less worry! Thank you God! and Uncle Sam!
P.S. My last post on being Single was just for laughs, so no rude comments please. KTHXBYE!
I had spent the lst month and a half applying for individual coverage because my COBRA was about to go up to over $500 at the end of January. It was a very nerve-wrecking process that included divuldging my complete medical history and an interview with them where they knew every doctor I had ever visited and every prescription I had ever had and I had to explain every one.
This morning I got the approval for individual coverage in my email and signed up for it even though it was the worst possible coverage with ridiculously high co-pays and deductibles and I would be paying $225/mo. instead of $190/mo. (I was happy with that because I expected A LOT worse from what I had heard.)
But when I called to cancel my COBRA coverage they asked why I was canceling and I explained I could not afford over $500/mo. They told me the government had extended that extra coverage and it would cover me under the lower rate until the end of JULY!!
I quickly called BCBS and asked them to cancel my individual coverage (they had no problem with that since my group COBRA policy is through them too so they are getting paid one way or another!)
I have a few more months of good health care coverage and less worry! Thank you God! and Uncle Sam!
P.S. My last post on being Single was just for laughs, so no rude comments please. KTHXBYE!
If you've never been single for more than six months, it's best to just keep your advice for us to yourself...
I never ever in a million years would have thought I would be one of “those” girls. One of “those” girls who really wants to be married and have kids. One of “those” girls who dreams of a wedding and what color bridesmaid dresses she’ll pick and what favors she’ll pick for the guests. I never thought I would be one of “those” girls because I never thought much about if I had a boyfriend or not. I am fine by myself and I’m not usually out “looking” for someone. I wanted to finish college and start my career and build a life for myself and whether I was with someone or not, didn’t really enter my thought process that much. It was just something that happened or didn't happen.
Then it started…every year was one wedding after another. I was happy with this at first. Weddings are fun! Bachelorette parties, showers, hot groomsmen, free alcohol and food, friends you haven’t seen in forever, what’s not to love? About my 3rd or 4th summer of wedding madness (I was probably on my 20th wedding and had been in at least 5) it started to get old. The time and cost wore on me a little bit and I started to wonder if it would ever be my turn? And now I had fewer and fewer single friends to party it up with. I was the 3rd or 5th wheel one too many times.
And now we have moved on to baby madness…I tell ya, it’s never ending.
Don’t get me wrong. I am fine being single and I am truly happy for my friends. I do hate doing things by myself, but I do them anyway. I don’t have my life on hold because I haven’t found “the One”. I don’t sit around pining away for a husband and a big white wedding. (Not that I don’t want those things, but I’m not obsessed with it.) I think I do a pretty good job as a single. But I will tell you it is not easy the older you get. You start calculating in your head how many years you have left before you have missed your chance for kids. You get excited when you actually meet a male who is single, not crazy, not hideous, and not fresh out of college. You start avoiding things like New Years with your friends because this would be like the 3rd or 4th year where you will be about the only single person there and it’s much more fun to spend New Years in your PJs anyway.
Anyway, this made me chuckle this morning…Here’s some things I could relate to being “Single” over the Holidays:
1. Someone tells you, “It’s tough to be alone this time of year.” = +1 point
(but it’s totally ok if that person is single too)
2. They pat your head while they say that. = +2 points (or rub your back)
4. With bated breath, they ask, “Should I put you down as +1 for the Christmas party this year?” = +2 points (I hate the pressure of the plus 1 invites)
5. Your good friends hold secret “couples holiday dinners” they don’t invite you to. = + 3 points (and you just pretend you know nothing about it)
6. They wince when the world’s worst commercials, Jared’s jewelry, come on TV and some horrible actress gets engaged right in front of you. = +4 points (makes me want to slap somebody)
7. If you’re divorced they tell you, “I think this year you should really ‘focus on you.’” = +1 point (I’m not divorced but have heard this more times than I can count)
8. They try desperately to find the silver lining and say things like, “It must be nice not to have to shop for anyone. My husband is so hard to get gifts for!” = +2 points (yeah well, and I also get less presents, so think of it that way while you enjoy opening more than 2 presents this year.)
9. When you tell them you’re OK being single during Christmas, they give you a look that says, “You are such a liar. It’s impossible to be happy and single during Christmas!” = +2 points (well, I was. Just stay so busy you look forward to Christmas being over and having everything done!)
11. Someone tells you, “Being single doesn’t have to mean being alone.” = +2 points (What does that even mean?)
12. Your friends have stopped saying “When you get married” because they’re not sure you’ve got it in you. = +1 point (or they are even unsure if there are any good guys left out there)
13. Your friends now say, “If you get married.” = +2 points (or worse they keep reassuring you “It will happen when you’re not looking”- Seriously stop saying that)
16. People tell you, “Maybe this will be your year” in the same tone baseball fans wonder if the Cubs will finally win the World Series this year. = +2 points (no one has said that to me…yet)
20. A friend you only see once a year during the holidays, uses the S word when hearing you’re single. “Still?” = +1 point (or else the conversation just dies after you tell them you’re not dating anyone because they don’t know what else there is in life other than their husband and kids so what in the world could they ask me about)
21. People spend an exorbitant amount of time telling you marriage success stories, e.g. “The instant my friend Jill stopped looking for a boyfriend this incredible guy came along and swept her off her feet.” = + 1 point (People REALLY love that stop looking one!)
25. Married friends feel compelled to over tell you how difficult marriage is so that you don’t feel like it’s a winter wonderland of constant awesomeness. = +3 points (or they complain about their husband never taking out the trash…yeah well, I always have to take out the trash and everything else at my house, so get over it)
32. People try to romanticize the tremendous amounts of free time you must have during the holidays without a family to bother you. = +3 points
And here’s some from an old post of his about Surviving Church as a Single:
2. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s combined with the college ministry which creates opportunities for conversations like this:
Student: “My roommate bought a microwave for our dorm room. I love being a Freshman!”
Single: “My 401K is underperforming.” = +2 points
5. Someone pays you the world’s most backhanded compliment, “I just don’t understand how someone as great as you isn’t married yet.” = +1 point
6. Someone told you, “If you stop looking for love you’ll find it.” 2 points for each time you’ve heard that.
8. When people introduce you, they say, “This is Matt, my single friend.” = +2 points
9. When people introduce you they feel compelled to list out your accomplishments, “This is Sally, my single friend who owns her own home, drives a luxury sedan and has a very, very stable job.” = +3 points
10. Your friends that have been married for 15 minutes act like they suddenly don’t remember anything about dating and therefore can’t give you any advice. “It’s been so long since I dated, things have changed so much. I’m just out of that whole scene.” + 2 points
11. People are constantly volunteering you for things because, “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.” = +1 point
13. Married friends try to live vicariously through you, asking questions like, “What did you do this weekend? Road trip? I bet you went on some crazy cool, singles road trip, right?” = +2 points
14. Someone you just met for the first time said a sentence like this to you, “If you want to get married, you need to ______.” = +2 points
15. Whenever married friends call you at noon on a Saturday, they start the conversation by saying, “Did I just wake you up?” = +3 points
23. Your married friends tip toe around you during February because they think you’re too delicate to handle the completely made up holiday, Valentine’s Day. = +1 point
24. You are too delicate to handle Valentine’s Day and have been known to describe it with a rich tapestry of words no Christian should even know exist, never mind actually say out loud. = + 1 point
30. Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that until you get married too you can’t be close again because you just don’t understand each other anymore. = +3 points
31. To justify giving a four week marriage sermon series to a congregation that is 60% single, the pastor throws out one blanket statement like this at the beginning of the series, “And you single people listen up to this too, this well serve you well when you get married too.” = +2 points
39. You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding. = +2 points
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Then it started…every year was one wedding after another. I was happy with this at first. Weddings are fun! Bachelorette parties, showers, hot groomsmen, free alcohol and food, friends you haven’t seen in forever, what’s not to love? About my 3rd or 4th summer of wedding madness (I was probably on my 20th wedding and had been in at least 5) it started to get old. The time and cost wore on me a little bit and I started to wonder if it would ever be my turn? And now I had fewer and fewer single friends to party it up with. I was the 3rd or 5th wheel one too many times.
And now we have moved on to baby madness…I tell ya, it’s never ending.
Don’t get me wrong. I am fine being single and I am truly happy for my friends. I do hate doing things by myself, but I do them anyway. I don’t have my life on hold because I haven’t found “the One”. I don’t sit around pining away for a husband and a big white wedding. (Not that I don’t want those things, but I’m not obsessed with it.) I think I do a pretty good job as a single. But I will tell you it is not easy the older you get. You start calculating in your head how many years you have left before you have missed your chance for kids. You get excited when you actually meet a male who is single, not crazy, not hideous, and not fresh out of college. You start avoiding things like New Years with your friends because this would be like the 3rd or 4th year where you will be about the only single person there and it’s much more fun to spend New Years in your PJs anyway.
Anyway, this made me chuckle this morning…Here’s some things I could relate to being “Single” over the Holidays:
1. Someone tells you, “It’s tough to be alone this time of year.” = +1 point
(but it’s totally ok if that person is single too)
2. They pat your head while they say that. = +2 points (or rub your back)
4. With bated breath, they ask, “Should I put you down as +1 for the Christmas party this year?” = +2 points (I hate the pressure of the plus 1 invites)
5. Your good friends hold secret “couples holiday dinners” they don’t invite you to. = + 3 points (and you just pretend you know nothing about it)
6. They wince when the world’s worst commercials, Jared’s jewelry, come on TV and some horrible actress gets engaged right in front of you. = +4 points (makes me want to slap somebody)
7. If you’re divorced they tell you, “I think this year you should really ‘focus on you.’” = +1 point (I’m not divorced but have heard this more times than I can count)
8. They try desperately to find the silver lining and say things like, “It must be nice not to have to shop for anyone. My husband is so hard to get gifts for!” = +2 points (yeah well, and I also get less presents, so think of it that way while you enjoy opening more than 2 presents this year.)
9. When you tell them you’re OK being single during Christmas, they give you a look that says, “You are such a liar. It’s impossible to be happy and single during Christmas!” = +2 points (well, I was. Just stay so busy you look forward to Christmas being over and having everything done!)
11. Someone tells you, “Being single doesn’t have to mean being alone.” = +2 points (What does that even mean?)
12. Your friends have stopped saying “When you get married” because they’re not sure you’ve got it in you. = +1 point (or they are even unsure if there are any good guys left out there)
13. Your friends now say, “If you get married.” = +2 points (or worse they keep reassuring you “It will happen when you’re not looking”- Seriously stop saying that)
16. People tell you, “Maybe this will be your year” in the same tone baseball fans wonder if the Cubs will finally win the World Series this year. = +2 points (no one has said that to me…yet)
20. A friend you only see once a year during the holidays, uses the S word when hearing you’re single. “Still?” = +1 point (or else the conversation just dies after you tell them you’re not dating anyone because they don’t know what else there is in life other than their husband and kids so what in the world could they ask me about)
21. People spend an exorbitant amount of time telling you marriage success stories, e.g. “The instant my friend Jill stopped looking for a boyfriend this incredible guy came along and swept her off her feet.” = + 1 point (People REALLY love that stop looking one!)
25. Married friends feel compelled to over tell you how difficult marriage is so that you don’t feel like it’s a winter wonderland of constant awesomeness. = +3 points (or they complain about their husband never taking out the trash…yeah well, I always have to take out the trash and everything else at my house, so get over it)
32. People try to romanticize the tremendous amounts of free time you must have during the holidays without a family to bother you. = +3 points
And here’s some from an old post of his about Surviving Church as a Single:
2. Your church has a singles ministry but it’s combined with the college ministry which creates opportunities for conversations like this:
Student: “My roommate bought a microwave for our dorm room. I love being a Freshman!”
Single: “My 401K is underperforming.” = +2 points
5. Someone pays you the world’s most backhanded compliment, “I just don’t understand how someone as great as you isn’t married yet.” = +1 point
6. Someone told you, “If you stop looking for love you’ll find it.” 2 points for each time you’ve heard that.
8. When people introduce you, they say, “This is Matt, my single friend.” = +2 points
9. When people introduce you they feel compelled to list out your accomplishments, “This is Sally, my single friend who owns her own home, drives a luxury sedan and has a very, very stable job.” = +3 points
10. Your friends that have been married for 15 minutes act like they suddenly don’t remember anything about dating and therefore can’t give you any advice. “It’s been so long since I dated, things have changed so much. I’m just out of that whole scene.” + 2 points
11. People are constantly volunteering you for things because, “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.” = +1 point
13. Married friends try to live vicariously through you, asking questions like, “What did you do this weekend? Road trip? I bet you went on some crazy cool, singles road trip, right?” = +2 points
14. Someone you just met for the first time said a sentence like this to you, “If you want to get married, you need to ______.” = +2 points
15. Whenever married friends call you at noon on a Saturday, they start the conversation by saying, “Did I just wake you up?” = +3 points
23. Your married friends tip toe around you during February because they think you’re too delicate to handle the completely made up holiday, Valentine’s Day. = +1 point
24. You are too delicate to handle Valentine’s Day and have been known to describe it with a rich tapestry of words no Christian should even know exist, never mind actually say out loud. = + 1 point
30. Your best friend of 15 years gets married and then suddenly acts like a magical gap has opened up between you and decides that until you get married too you can’t be close again because you just don’t understand each other anymore. = +3 points
31. To justify giving a four week marriage sermon series to a congregation that is 60% single, the pastor throws out one blanket statement like this at the beginning of the series, “And you single people listen up to this too, this well serve you well when you get married too.” = +2 points
39. You’ve developed highly sensitive, “They’re about to throw the bouquet” radar and know exactly when to leave a wedding. = +2 points
Don't forget today is the last day to enter the giveaway!
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