Good Bye 2012

I had such big plans for my Christmas break.  I had 12 consecutive days off!  That is probably the most time off I have ever had!  Unfortunately my plans we derailed.  On the 22nd my tooth started to hurt a little.  By Christmas day I was in soo much pain!  I took about 30 Advil just to make it through the day.  I couldn't sleep because the pain was unbearable.  I called my dentist's emergency hotline since their voice-mail said they were closed until Jan. 2nd.  They called me in a prescription for Vicodin and made an appointment for the next day when my dentist would be back in town.  I took a Vicodin every 3-4 hours and slept pretty much the whole day.  He saw me the next day and said my tooth had died and there was an infection.  He said they have to clear the infection and then do a root canal.  So my vacation has consisted mostly of this:

Painkillers, antibiotics, reading, watching TV and sleeping.  It has been pretty miserable.

There have been some bright spots.  I got to see Christmas at the DPAC twice and it was amazing!  (If you want to watch the whole thing, it is now online HERE).  I got to eat at Angus Barn with my family and at a great restaurant in Durham 604 at West Village with one of my favorite work friends.  I cooked for my family on Christmas Day.  And we threw a baby shower for my BFF.  (whole post to come on this later)

I'm ready for 2012 to go though.  It has not been my year and the last month has really been the icing on the cake.  I have done some amazing things and gone to some amazing places with some amazing people...

Snowshoe

Half Marathon

Kayaking

San Diego

Beach Month

San Diego (round 2)

Vegas

State Fair

And many other memories like watching two of my good friends finally say "i do" at the beach, seeing Wicked for the second time, have not one but two fun wine and design nights, getting scared at the Haunted Farm again this year, other fun races like The Franklin 5K, Chic-fil-a 10K, and Color Run, and many fun days and nights with great friends.

But this year has been frustrating and I am ready for a fresh start.

Pity Party- Party of ONE

Today really sucked.  The past few weeks...months....years have actually sucked.  I can't blog because I can't even form thoughts in my head that are positive anymore.  It took all I had to do that 30 Days of Thanks.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for...it is just hard to see feel right now.  All I feel is....frustration, blahness, loneliness.

Tonight we got to Facetime with one of the girls from our Bible study who is in a position where she is traveling all over the US right now.  We hadn't talked to her in a few months and everyone had these amazing updates or major things that had changed in their lives and I had nothing.  Nothing but car trouble and never ending silly work drama.  My life is so stupid and pointless right now I feel.  Nothing major has changed.  Everyday feels the same.  I am so lonely.  I am so overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time.

I am kind of skipping Christmas this year.  I didn't put up my tree.  I did put up a few decorations, but it feels so....empty.  I'm buying no gifts.  I think I am going to give my mom $50 for a massage and give her money for one of the fancy pillows she is buying my uncle.

I have a lot to do.  In fact I am probably going to be up making power point slides all night for a meeting in the morning.  I am hoping my car will make it to work and back to the shop tomorrow since it decided to act a fool tonight and say I had no oil pressure even though I just got an oil change last week.  Oh and I need 4 new tires.  FOUR!  I hate car stuff.

I went to a couple's baby shower this weekend and I was the only single person there.  It is so depressing to look around the room and see all these couples and you have no one.  I will never attend another couples shower again.

I feel so alone in life.  Life is not supposed to be like this and I know it will never be perfect, but I could use something.  Some kind of change.

Life is hard y'all.