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My BFF and I have weekly challenges going on. We are both tracking our calories and we will set a goal like most # of days under your calorie goal or come in under your total calories for the week and there is a small prize each week. The first week I won so she had to pay for my movie. This week though we both lost so neither of us gets an iTunes gift card. The prize for the winner this week is for the other one to pay for a Zumba class for both of us. It keeps me from giving up on this whole calorie counting thing.
Yesterday was mother's day. I celebrated with my mom last weekend by going up to have lunch and attend a fancy tea party with her. I did give her a call last night (like I do almost every night of the world) to wish her a Happy Mother's day.
Mother's Day is starting to be a little different for me as I get older. A lot of my friends have children and I feel like I am on the outside of this really exclusive club and honestly feel like I am not as good, strong, hardworking, loving of a person because I'm not a mom. And I may never be a mom...I mean I may not have any good eggs left in there. So Mother's Day kind of hurts. Is that weird? I know it is, but it does.
I had to help out in the nursery at church yesterday in the 1 year old's room. First of all, one year old's are not easy. They can run and throw things but can't fully communicate yet. This one little girl was by my side the entire time and I ended up sitting her on my lap and reading a couple books with her. It was sweet.
But when it got close to pick up time two of the kids saw their moms coming to get them through the window. It takes a little while for them to get around to the classroom. During that time those kids had complete meltdowns. Crying big fat tears and screaming for their mommy. I managed to calm the boy down but the little girl screamed "I need mommy" the entire time and when her mom walked up and I said "Look who's that?" She screamed "Mommy!!" and cried even harder. During class there was another little boy that would just randomly walk up to the door with a little worried look on his face and say "Mommy?" I kept having to tell him "Mommy's not here yet." He would wonder back over to the toys, but 10 minutes later it was "Mommy?" again. He must have repeated this routine at least 4-5 times. I definitely saw through those kids how important Mommies are. They are the be all end all for those kids. I can't help but wonder. Will I ever get to be someone's mommy?
So to all you moms out there, I know it is hard, but treasure it. It is a gift.
5 comments:
Suz! You WILL be a mom! I am sure you have good eggs left. Positive of it. I know what you mean about mother's day, though. I'm not really there yet, because none of my closest friends have kids yet (which is weird, because we're all turning 30 this year and hello... it's the midwest! lol) so I'm not really feeling the pain hard yet. I do see little kids and feel an aching for them. I just can't wait and know I am meant to be a mom. I think most women are!! I am sure you are too. What I have been trying to do lately is give up control and really let God control my destiny. He knows better than us!
Love the plan that you're doing with your friend! How motivating!!
I loved Something Borrowed too. I haven't read Water for Elephants so I'm going to wait to see it. It's really killing me! I have a feeling I am going to love it!
Hang in there, lady! I think you're wonderful!
That is quite the schnazzy incentive deal you and your friend have going.
No worries about motherhood! When you get there, at least you will be ready!
Hey yesterday I was thinking about mothers day and saw that all of my friends were posting about their moms on facebook, and many of my friends were celebrating their own first mothers days. And meanwhile I was assigned my first child custody case for CASA (an amazing organization that I volunteer with - you can look it up!) and my kid is a month old and already part of the foster care system.
I was thinking about how on mothers day we need to think about not only our own mothers, for those of us who are fortunate enough to have good ones, but also those who don't have good moms, or who have moms who don't know how to raise their kids, and who are trying to just be better than their own mom was for them. And finally all the women of the world who act as role models for the children who don't have good moms. I was watching extreme home makeover last night and this woman was a high school volleyball coach and she took in three girls ages 12, 13 and 18 whose parents couldn't care for them and died of drug overdoses. And for the first time they lived in a permanent home with a woman who loved them, and they started to call her mom.
I'm totally rambling! I have no idea if you or anyone else will be a mom, but I hope you are if that's what you want. But just remember that there are a lot of roles for women in the world and you don't have to be a mom to make a huge difference to a child. And on mothers day it seems like everyone we know is a mom or has an awesome relationship with their mom, but remember that that's not always true everywhere. And I wouldn't worry about being a mom some day, if you love kids (which I think you do), I'd just keep on working with kids as much as possible. You really never know what it might lead to! xo
(New reader here!)
I totally feel your mother's day pain. I'm married, almost 30, and the babies haven't come, and I don't know if they ever will. Definitely a hard day. I spend so much time reminding myself that life isn't a race, but it's easier said than done. I look forward to reading more of your blog!
Ooh yes - I've seen both of these movies lately. I liked them both pretty well, although I didn't really like how Something Borrowed ended (I thought she should've gotten together with her best guy friend).
Oddly enough, I haven't read either of these books yet. I usually do like to read the book before seeing a movie, but for some reason I've been doing it backwards lately!
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